"You're the reason we can't do the wave, Podsednik."
Hey ghostrunner, remember BRAINNZZZZ?What can I expect from my zombie on the basepaths?
Due to the zombie's stiff-legged, arms-straight-to-the-front running style, the zombie has "Mo Vaughn carrying an El Camino on his back" speed. Do not expect the zombie to successfully steal on anyone other than Mike Piazza.
On the plus side, the zombie cannot slide, which makes him great at breaking up the double play by taking a ball off the schnoz Posada-style. Being impervious to pain, the zombie will not need to go on the DL when this does happen. Unfortunately, the zombie's hunger for the second baseman's brains makes him easy prey to a decent pickoff move.
Other McSweeney's baseball articles particularly inappropriate to read during class (thanks to TLAG for the link back in the day): Baseball Heckling, part I, The Mike Mussina Perfect Game Award, and as always 1 and 2 of their annual baseball preview.
I am, for the record, completely ignoring that fatuous Peter Gammons article that mentions how badly Boston wants Tim Hudson and them offering Oakland some assemblage of Bronson Arroyo and spare parts that won't get the job done, thank God, but look. Not panicking. I am capable of learning something. It is early in the Hot Stove; Peter Gammons sucks. I am going to eat some chocolate now.
Due to the zombie's stiff-legged, arms-straight-to-the-front running style, the zombie has "Mo Vaughn carrying an El Camino on his back" speed. Do not expect the zombie to successfully steal on anyone other than Mike Piazza.
On the plus side, the zombie cannot slide, which makes him great at breaking up the double play by taking a ball off the schnoz Posada-style. Being impervious to pain, the zombie will not need to go on the DL when this does happen. Unfortunately, the zombie's hunger for the second baseman's brains makes him easy prey to a decent pickoff move.
Other McSweeney's baseball articles particularly inappropriate to read during class (thanks to TLAG for the link back in the day): Baseball Heckling, part I, The Mike Mussina Perfect Game Award, and as always 1 and 2 of their annual baseball preview.
I am, for the record, completely ignoring that fatuous Peter Gammons article that mentions how badly Boston wants Tim Hudson and them offering Oakland some assemblage of Bronson Arroyo and spare parts that won't get the job done, thank God, but look. Not panicking. I am capable of learning something. It is early in the Hot Stove; Peter Gammons sucks. I am going to eat some chocolate now.