Rawhide Chapter 12
Title: Rawhide
Author: PetiteMiel
Pairing: Jack/Ennis
Rating: NC-17(eventually)
Warning: Contains harsh language, violence, m/m sexual encounters.
Disclaimer: All characters from Brokeback Mountain belong to Ann Proulx. I am just borrowing them and make no money from their use. No copyright infringement is intended. All other characters are mine.
Summary: Au!Au. This story takes place in 1867. Ennis is an eighteen year old wrangler at the Triple T Ranch in Texas where Jack, a sixteen year old runaway is hired for the upcoming cattle drive to Montana.
AN:This is the first time I've written BBM fanfic. The story is un beta'd so all errors are mine.
Additional AN: I'm very sorry for the delay in getting this chapter posted but I was busy with family things due to the Memorial Day weekend and was unable to get any writing done.:)
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Arlene, Texas
Spring, 1867
The tapping on his foot brought Jack awake and he looked up seeing Charlie standing over him. The dim light of the lamp he carried cast his face in shadows making him look more gristly then usual and Jack squinted, his eyes feeling tired and gritty as he stared up at the cook.
“Rise and shine boy.”
“What time is it?” Jack asked, his voice still rough with sleep.
“Oh, must be five by now.”
“Sun ain’t even up yet.”
“Red wants ya on the road by first light so ya need to git up now unless ya don’t want no breakfast.”
“I’m up.” Came Jack’s quick reply, making Charlie chuckle as he walked away.
A couple of minutes later Jack was standing at the stove yawning as Charlie poured him a cup of coffee. He took a sip, swallowing hard as he screwed up his face still not used to the taste then he glanced around the room. The other men were climbing from their beds, none of them looking any happier about the early hour then he was but they knew it was something they’d be getting used to soon enough with the drive just a day away.
There was no sign of Ennis though and Jack figured he was in the stable taking care of the horses like he always did first thing in the morning. He set his cup on the table and was just about to head out to hunt for him but was stopped when Red walked into the bunkhouse and stepped up beside him.
“Mornin' Jack.”
“Mornin'.”
“Got somethin’ for ya.” He said pouring a cup of coffee for himself before reaching into his pocket.
“What’s this?” Jack asked as Red dropped a ten dollar gold piece into his palm.
“That there’s your pay for the time ya put in so far. Mr. Taylor thought ya men might need some things before we head out on the drive so he told me to give ya your pay today. We’ll just add next weeks pay in with what ya git at the end of May.”
“Thanks.” Jack said a huge smile on his face.
“Don’t have to thank me. Ya earned it.”
Red turned away, seating himself at the table, the other men collecting their money as they walked over but Jack didn’t even notice, as he was too busy staring at the his own. He had never been paid for his work before and he couldn’t help the feeling of pride that came over him at that moment.
He had spent most of his life being told he would never amount to anything, that he wasn’t worth the money it cost to feed him and there was a time or two when he had started to believe that but it seemed his fears had been unfounded and he had the proof in his hand.
A second later Ennis entered the room and Jack looked up catching the other man’s eye. He smiled but Ennis barely acknowledged him, just a quick nod before turning away and seating himself on the bench beside Bull as he spoke to Red.
Jack watched him for a second frowning, not liking this turn of events at all. Ennis had done the same thing the night before at supper, deliberately seating himself on the other side of the table from Jack, not looking at him and barely saying two words to him the rest of the evening.
Jack had figured what happened between them in the tack room had rattled Ennis some making the other man more cautious because of it but he had hoped he’d be over that by now. Looking at Ennis he could see that wasn’t the case and he could also see that was how things were gonna be if he didn’t do something quick to change it.
He wasn’t gonna be kissed in private and ignored in public and if Ennis delMar thought he was then Jack Twist was gonna show him different. With that in mind he slipped the gold eagle in his pocket and headed over to the table, a mischievous grin gracing his lips.
It was at that very moment that Billy walked up stepping in his way and Jack stared at him for a second, neither of them speaking before he moved aside. Billy walked past him taking a plate of food from Charlie, glancing once at Jack, his expression full of scorn before heading outside, as he’d done the day before. Jack just shrugged, deciding not to let it bother him as he had other more important things to deal with right then.
Ennis took a plate of food from Bull just as Jack sat down on his other side effectively penning him in. He froze for a second frowning, then handed the plate to Jack, their fingers brushing against each other, sending a shiver down his spine.
He had hoped to keep some distance between them when they were around the other men, not sure if he could trust himself where Jack was concerned. His loss of control the night before had made him realize just how tenuous it was and his fears had been renewed but it seemed like Jack had other ideas.
He knew there was nothing to be done about it though so he turned his attention to his plate trying not to look at the other man. Ennis knew the effect Jack had on him and the result might prove embarrassing at best.
Jack seemed oblivious to his discomfort though as he scooted closer, their bodies now touching from shoulder to hip, Ennis stiffening slightly at the contact before taking a deep breath to settle his nerves. He tried to concentrate on his breakfast instead of Jack but he found it difficult to eat as moments later Jack practically crawled in his lap in an effort to reach the biscuits.
He leaned back trying to give him some room but Jack just pressed closer finally reaching what he was after before sitting back in his seat, the biscuit all but eaten. Ennis glanced around the table quickly but no one seemed to be paying them any mind so he turned to his meal once more.
He scooped up some eggs, slipping the fork between his lips but he didn’t even notice the taste as all his attention was suddenly drawn to the leg that was rubbing gently against his under the table.
His heart started to race and his lip started to sweat and he quickly moved his leg away but a second later Jack was rubbing his leg against him again. Ennis squirmed in his seat trying to find a way to separate the two limbs all the while trying not to draw attention to himself and just when he thought he’s been successful he jumped, jerking his leg away as he felt Jack’s hand on his thigh.
“What’s the matter boy ya got beans in your breeches?” K.C. asked from across the table.
“Uh…just bumped my knee is all.” He said glaring at Jack who ignored him completely.
Ennis’ explanation seemed to satisfy K.C. and the other man went back to his conversation with Hank just as Bull rose from the table giving Ennis a way out. He extricated himself from the bench quickly, mumbling something about having to hitch up the wagon as he left.
Jack turned watching him go, doing his best not to laugh but unable to keep the small smile from his face then he rose and headed out the door after him. When he got to the stable he found Ennis pacing back and forth, his expression dark and his eyes fierce.
“What are ya doin’ Jack?” He asked as he stopped moving.
“I thought I’d help ya git the wagon hitched up.” Jack replied innocently.
“That ain’t what I mean and ya know it. I’m talkin’ about the way ya was…touchin’ me in there.” Ennis said, his voice becoming a whisper.
Jack bit his lip, looking away as he tried to keep a straight face.
“Well…it was crowded at the table and…”
“Jack.” Ennis said sternly and jack finally relented.
“Well that’s what ya git for ignorin’ me. Anyways, I was just playin’.”
“This ain’t a game Jack. Somebody could a seen ya. They coulda been watchin’.”
“Ennis they can’t see through the table. Anyway Billy’s the only one who’d be watchin’ us and he was outside.”
“Billy? Why would he be watchin’ us?”
“Uh…no…no reason.”
“Jack, why would Billy be watchin’ us?” He asked again stepping toward him, his eyes narrowed.
“Well… he…he sorta knows about us.”
“What!”
“Well not really. It’s just that Barnes saw me come in here after ya the night ya seen me at the washtub and then he saw us talkin’ at the corral and I guess he thought there was somethin’ goin’ on and he told Billy what he seen and…”
“And you’re just tellin’ me this now?” Ennis asked running a nervous hand through his hair as he started to pace once more.
“Well…”
“Wait a minute. Was that what the fight was about?”
”No.” Jack answered quickly and Ennis stared back at him not trusting the answer.
“Well… kinda. Not entirely.”
“I can’t believe this. What if he says somethin’.”
“He won’t.”
“Ya don’t know that Jack.”
“Ennis if he was gonna say somethin’ he’d have done it already. Besides they’ll just think he’s tryin’ to stir things up cause he don’t like me.”
Ennis glanced over at him; chewing on a thumbnail, his face full of worry.
“Yeah, maybe but ya should have told me Jack.”
“Well, I was gonna but I…I kinda got distracted last night.”
Ennis looked up at that, his cheeks heating up and he looked away again.
“Beside I knew ya would just…”
“What?”
“I just figured if I told ya you’d run the other way. We was just gettin’ to be friends again and I thought ya wouldn’t want nothin’ more to do with me if ya found out somebody knew.”
Ennis stood there looking at him, Jack’s head down and his shoulders hunched then he sighed taking a step toward him. Jack looked up and Ennis just shook his head.
“I guess I can’t blame ya for that considerin' the way I acted before but…but I ain’t runnin’ Jack. I said we’d be friends always and I meant it.”
“Me too.”
“I know ya think I’m bein' silly to worry so much but…”
“Naw, Ennis I don’t. It’s just that…sometimes I wish we didn’t have to worry about it. I wish folks would just let be.”
“I know but until such a time I don’t see as we got a choice.”
“Yeah but still...” He trailed off.
“I don’t rightly understand what we got goin’ on here but I know I ain’t never felt…I know it feels right and I don’t want somebody comin’ along tellin’ me it’s wrong. I don’t want no one takin’ this away from me Jack so if I’m more careful then I got a be well…”
“Ennis, I don’t want that neither and I’m sorry about what I done before. I shouldn’t have.”
“I know ya didn’t mean no harm it’s just…sometimes bein’ around ya I...I just scare myself with how much…how much I want...aw hell I ain’t no good at sayin’ this sortta stuff.” He said turning away, feeling exasperated.
“Ya know I feel the same way don’t ya? Ain’t no easier for me.”
“Well, it sure seems like it is.”
“Well it ain’t. Hell I ain’t stopped thinkin’ on ya for more then a second since I met ya Ennis.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
They stared at each other not saying a word, both feeling their desire stir but knowing they couldn’t act on it then Ennis ran a hand over his face, clearing his throat.
“We…uh best git the harness.”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know what we gonna do about Billy though. I don’t trust him and the way he’s so jealous of ya I can see him usin' it against ya.” Ennis said stepping into the tack room to get the gear.
“Well, maybe so but I don’t see that there’s anythin' we can do about it in any case.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” Ennis replied as he walked over to him.
“Ain’t nothin’ else ya forgot to tell me is there?”
“Naw.” Jack smiled.
“Good cause if we’re gonna be in this…this thing together then we can’t have no secrets like that. It’s just too dangerous. Ok?”
“I know.”
“Hell first Charlie and now Billy it’s a wonder…”
“Charlie? He knows too?” Jack asked staring at him in disbelief.
“Uh…yeah…well…” Ennis stammered as he faced him.
“So looks like I ain’t the only one been keepin’ secrets.”
“Well…that’s different.”
“How’s that?”
“Cause …cause Charlie…well he don’t care.”
“How do ya know that?”
“Cause he told me he don’t and I’ve never known him to be a liar.”
“So, what ya just sittin’ around havin’ long conversations about it or somethin’?”
“Of course not. He just seen somethin’, like Barnes and well…he figured things out that’s all but he said it wasn’t none of his business so I figure he ain’t got no intentions of sayin’ nothin’ about it to no one.”
“Hmm. Still should have told me Ennis. Ya ain’t got no right gettin’ mad...”
“I know. You’re right, I should have told ya.” He interrupted.
Jack looked over at him still frowning and Ennis smiled at him.
“So ya gonna be mad at me all day now?”
“Maybe.” Jack said a small pout on his lips then he smiled back. “Maybe not.”
“What the hell are ya boys doin’ in here knittin’ that harness?” Bull asked smiling as he came through the door.
“Got it right here.” Ennis answered as they both turned and headed out after the big man leaving any further discussion for the road.
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Arlene, Texas was a quiet little hamlet set out on the plains ten miles from the Triple T ranch. It was a small collection of houses and shops, white washed and weather beaten forming a crossroads on the prairie and serving as a stop along the Butterfield Stagecoach line.
It was a town like many in northern Texas with little to recommend it over any other but Jack had found the people friendly and he couldn’t help thinking if it hadn’t been for that he would not have found his way to Ennis.
Jack looked over at him where he sat, the wagon creaking as it dipped up and down on the uneven path and he couldn’t help the smile that warmed his face just from being near the other man. Ennis turned toward him then, smiling and Jack smiled back before turning his attention to the town. He took a good look around not having noticed much on his last visit, too hungry and weary at the time to concern himself with his surroundings.
There was a church at the edge of town, the bell outside ringing loudly as a passel of kids ran for the door and Jack figured it doubled as a school house like the one back home. He wondered if it was like that everywhere or just in Texas but had little time to contemplate as the billowing smoke from the blacksmith’s shop drew his eyes to the other side of the street.
The hiss of cooling steel and the ring of the hammer were familiar sounds and a nice accompaniment to the music coming out of the saloon, which sat beside it. Jack was surprised to see it open so early but he reckoned when there was money to be made propriety was overlooked.
It was not a problem at the Standish Hotel though, a fine establishment and one of the few buildings in town with gingerbread trim and a fresh coat of paint. It boasted the softest featherbeds in the territory but Jack had not had the money last time he was in town to put that boast to the test and on this trip he didn’t have the time.
Darby’s restaurant sat across the street from the hotel not quite so fancy or expensive and it seemed to be doing a good bit of business as they rode by despite the sign on the building right next door advertising both a physician and an undertaker.
He smiled at that then looked over as Bull reined in his horses stopping the wagon he drove in front of the gunsmith’s shop. Ennis pulled up along side him exchanging a nod then continued down the street to the mercantile. They climbed down from the wagon a few minutes later Ennis wrapping the reins around the hitching post before they headed up the steps and through the double doors.
As they approached the counter Ennis pulled two slips of paper from his shirt pocket, a list of supplies on one and a list of personal things the men needed on the other.
“Mornin’.” The proprietor said, a warm smile on his face.
“Mornin’. Uh…I’m Ennis delMar from the Triple T. I come to git supplies.” Ennis replied handing the longer of the two lists to the man figuring it was likely the right one.
“Oh yes, Red said he’d be sendin’ ya in today. Lets have a look here.” The man replied taking the list in hand.
“I should have most of this in the back. I tell ya what, let me git this rounded up and I’ll set it by the side doors. When I’m done ya can bring your wagon around and we’ll git ya loaded up. Be a lot easier then carryin’ everythin’ out front.”
“Sure enough.”
“Shouldn’t take too long.” He said before disappearing through a curtained doorway to gather their supplies.
Ennis turned around looking at Jack then down at the list he still held.
“Jack?”
“Yeah?” He said looking over his shoulder at him.
“Uh…maybe ya could…”
“Here let me see.” Jack said taking the list from him and tearing it in half.
“What are ya doin’?”
“Take that half and I’ll take the other.”
“Jack ya know I can’t…”
“Yes ya can. Just sound it out like I showed ya.”
“Jack this ain’t no readin’ lesson.”
“Well it is now. Go on give it a try.”
Ennis frowned at him then looked down at the paper scratching his head. Then he turned away as a young man in an apron stepped behind the counter feeling embarrassed before sounding out the letters of the first item on the list.
“T…oh…buh…ah…cc…oh…toe…buhah…coh…ta…bacco. Tobacco?”
“See, I told ya it was easy.” Jack smiled at him.
“Well I wouldn’t say it was easy but I sure enough read it, didn’t I?” He smiled back.
“Ya sure enough did.”
“Can I help ya with anythin'?” The clerk asked eyeing the two men.
“We’re just waitin’ on the supplies.” Ennis said in response.
“Well if there’s anythin’ else ya need just let me know.”
“Well we do need a few other things. Ennis here needs a pouch of tobacco.”
“Uh…two actually.” Ennis said needing one for himself, the other for K.C.
“Certainly.” The young man said stepping away to retrieve the goods.
They spent the next few minutes wandering about the store collecting the things they needed for themselves as well those on their lists asking the clerk for help with what they couldn’t find then they returned to the counter, their goods laid out before them.
Jack looked over everything to be sure they had it all, asking the shop clerk for three bottles of Castor oil to complete the list, Ennis setting several item of his own on the counter beside the rest.
“Do ya sell tooth powder?” Jack asked.
“Sure do. Ya like Country Gent?”
“Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll take four.”
“Don’t know why ya need that. We got bakin’ soda.” Ennis said looking over at the small metal tins.
“I like this better. Beside it taste like peppermint.”
“Does huh?”
“Yep.”
“Well, maybe I’ll try some of that myself. I’ll just take one though.” He said as the fella laid another tin on the counter.
About that time the proprietor returned and Ennis handed Jack the money the men had given him for their purchases and some of his own before heading outside to move the wagon.
Jack watched him go then turned back to the clerk asking him about something he had spotted on the shelf and choosing one or two more things he wanted before paying for the goods and joining Ennis outside.
They loaded the wagon quickly, Jack finishing up as he tossed in a large sack of flour and some beans then he headed around to the front of the wagon while Ennis settled up with the owner of the store. The goods were added to Mr. Taylor’s account and when Ennis was finished he stepped around the wagon prepared to leave but found Jack wasn’t there.
He spotted him standing just a few feet away at the edge of the alley staring toward the street and he watched him curiously as he walked up beside him wondering what had captured his attention so completely. Ennis glanced around but saw nothing out of the ordinary and frowned before turning to Jack.
“What are ya lookin’ at?”
Jack didn’t answer right away just continued to stare ahead of him and Ennis looked over at him concern on his face. He set a hand on Jack’s shoulder getting his attention and Jack looked up finally, his eyes haunted and his expression bleak.
“What’s the matter?”
“See that woman over there?"
Ennis looked in the direction he was pointing then nodded as he spotted a frail looking woman in a blue dress standing outside the stage office.
“That’s my Mama."
“Your mama?” Ennis asked surprise on his face.
“I never thought I’d see her again. I can’t figure what she’d be doin’ here though.” Jack said taking another step forward.
“Well, ya want to go talk to her?”
“Naw, I…I don’t that be a good idea. We…we should probably just go.” Jack answered nervously looking up and down the street.
“Ya ain’t gonna see her for an awful long time. Maybe ya should.”
“Naw, she…she wouldn’t have come all this way by herself and he’s probably…” He trailed off lowering his head, biting his lip.
“Your daddy?”
“Yeah. Best if we just go.” He said reluctantly turning away.
He took two steps then stopped realizing Ennis wasn’t following and he turned to see the other man standing where he’d left him, his fists clenched at his side.
“Ennis?”
“That him?” Ennis asked his voice cold.
Jack looked up seeing his father across the street and the memory of every ugly taunt and vicious beating he had suffered at his hands came crashing in on him. He could feel himself shake, bile rising in his throat and he thought he might be sick. His stomach twisted in knots, the fear of his father no less now then it had been the day he had fled and it shamed him. It made him feel small and weak and he hated himself for it but he hated his father more. He had spent his life seeking the man’s love and approval only to be treated with disdain and disgust and it made him angry that his father could still make him feel worthless just by being in his presence.
Then he turned looking at Ennis, nodding in response unable to speak, not wanting to say aloud that he was kin to the bitter old man. Ennis stared back at him; his expression softening as he saw the turmoil in Jack’s eyes and he seemed to understand what Jack was feeling without needing to be told.
Perhaps it was this more then anything that made Jack see the truth and shake off his fear. He had always felt so alone, unable to fight back, never strong enough to stand up to the man who had sired him but he wasn’t alone anymore. He wasn’t a scared little kid hiding in closets or under beds to avoid a beating.
Jack was a man whose skills with a rope and a horse were valued by the men he worked beside everyday and he had earned their respect through the hard work he had put in. He had also won the friendship of a better man then his father could ever hope to be and that alone told him that he wasn’t unworthy of the things he had sought from his father but rather that his father was unworthy of the importance Jack had afforded his love.
A movement beside him caught his attention and Jack looked up to see Ennis heading toward the street but he stopped him, reaching out to take hold of his arm.
“Ennis, where ya goin’?”
“I got somethin’ I want to say to that man.” He replied, clenching his jaw.
“Ennis, it’s Ok. I got a few things I want to say to him myself.”
Ennis nodded once seeing that this was something Jack needed to do and knowing that his own desire to inflict harm on Jack’s father would just have to wait. Then he watched as Jack took a deep breath, gathering up his courage and he followed him out into the street.
TBC
Author: PetiteMiel
Pairing: Jack/Ennis
Rating: NC-17(eventually)
Warning: Contains harsh language, violence, m/m sexual encounters.
Disclaimer: All characters from Brokeback Mountain belong to Ann Proulx. I am just borrowing them and make no money from their use. No copyright infringement is intended. All other characters are mine.
Summary: Au!Au. This story takes place in 1867. Ennis is an eighteen year old wrangler at the Triple T Ranch in Texas where Jack, a sixteen year old runaway is hired for the upcoming cattle drive to Montana.
AN:This is the first time I've written BBM fanfic. The story is un beta'd so all errors are mine.
Additional AN: I'm very sorry for the delay in getting this chapter posted but I was busy with family things due to the Memorial Day weekend and was unable to get any writing done.:)
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Arlene, Texas
Spring, 1867
The tapping on his foot brought Jack awake and he looked up seeing Charlie standing over him. The dim light of the lamp he carried cast his face in shadows making him look more gristly then usual and Jack squinted, his eyes feeling tired and gritty as he stared up at the cook.
“Rise and shine boy.”
“What time is it?” Jack asked, his voice still rough with sleep.
“Oh, must be five by now.”
“Sun ain’t even up yet.”
“Red wants ya on the road by first light so ya need to git up now unless ya don’t want no breakfast.”
“I’m up.” Came Jack’s quick reply, making Charlie chuckle as he walked away.
A couple of minutes later Jack was standing at the stove yawning as Charlie poured him a cup of coffee. He took a sip, swallowing hard as he screwed up his face still not used to the taste then he glanced around the room. The other men were climbing from their beds, none of them looking any happier about the early hour then he was but they knew it was something they’d be getting used to soon enough with the drive just a day away.
There was no sign of Ennis though and Jack figured he was in the stable taking care of the horses like he always did first thing in the morning. He set his cup on the table and was just about to head out to hunt for him but was stopped when Red walked into the bunkhouse and stepped up beside him.
“Mornin' Jack.”
“Mornin'.”
“Got somethin’ for ya.” He said pouring a cup of coffee for himself before reaching into his pocket.
“What’s this?” Jack asked as Red dropped a ten dollar gold piece into his palm.
“That there’s your pay for the time ya put in so far. Mr. Taylor thought ya men might need some things before we head out on the drive so he told me to give ya your pay today. We’ll just add next weeks pay in with what ya git at the end of May.”
“Thanks.” Jack said a huge smile on his face.
“Don’t have to thank me. Ya earned it.”
Red turned away, seating himself at the table, the other men collecting their money as they walked over but Jack didn’t even notice, as he was too busy staring at the his own. He had never been paid for his work before and he couldn’t help the feeling of pride that came over him at that moment.
He had spent most of his life being told he would never amount to anything, that he wasn’t worth the money it cost to feed him and there was a time or two when he had started to believe that but it seemed his fears had been unfounded and he had the proof in his hand.
A second later Ennis entered the room and Jack looked up catching the other man’s eye. He smiled but Ennis barely acknowledged him, just a quick nod before turning away and seating himself on the bench beside Bull as he spoke to Red.
Jack watched him for a second frowning, not liking this turn of events at all. Ennis had done the same thing the night before at supper, deliberately seating himself on the other side of the table from Jack, not looking at him and barely saying two words to him the rest of the evening.
Jack had figured what happened between them in the tack room had rattled Ennis some making the other man more cautious because of it but he had hoped he’d be over that by now. Looking at Ennis he could see that wasn’t the case and he could also see that was how things were gonna be if he didn’t do something quick to change it.
He wasn’t gonna be kissed in private and ignored in public and if Ennis delMar thought he was then Jack Twist was gonna show him different. With that in mind he slipped the gold eagle in his pocket and headed over to the table, a mischievous grin gracing his lips.
It was at that very moment that Billy walked up stepping in his way and Jack stared at him for a second, neither of them speaking before he moved aside. Billy walked past him taking a plate of food from Charlie, glancing once at Jack, his expression full of scorn before heading outside, as he’d done the day before. Jack just shrugged, deciding not to let it bother him as he had other more important things to deal with right then.
Ennis took a plate of food from Bull just as Jack sat down on his other side effectively penning him in. He froze for a second frowning, then handed the plate to Jack, their fingers brushing against each other, sending a shiver down his spine.
He had hoped to keep some distance between them when they were around the other men, not sure if he could trust himself where Jack was concerned. His loss of control the night before had made him realize just how tenuous it was and his fears had been renewed but it seemed like Jack had other ideas.
He knew there was nothing to be done about it though so he turned his attention to his plate trying not to look at the other man. Ennis knew the effect Jack had on him and the result might prove embarrassing at best.
Jack seemed oblivious to his discomfort though as he scooted closer, their bodies now touching from shoulder to hip, Ennis stiffening slightly at the contact before taking a deep breath to settle his nerves. He tried to concentrate on his breakfast instead of Jack but he found it difficult to eat as moments later Jack practically crawled in his lap in an effort to reach the biscuits.
He leaned back trying to give him some room but Jack just pressed closer finally reaching what he was after before sitting back in his seat, the biscuit all but eaten. Ennis glanced around the table quickly but no one seemed to be paying them any mind so he turned to his meal once more.
He scooped up some eggs, slipping the fork between his lips but he didn’t even notice the taste as all his attention was suddenly drawn to the leg that was rubbing gently against his under the table.
His heart started to race and his lip started to sweat and he quickly moved his leg away but a second later Jack was rubbing his leg against him again. Ennis squirmed in his seat trying to find a way to separate the two limbs all the while trying not to draw attention to himself and just when he thought he’s been successful he jumped, jerking his leg away as he felt Jack’s hand on his thigh.
“What’s the matter boy ya got beans in your breeches?” K.C. asked from across the table.
“Uh…just bumped my knee is all.” He said glaring at Jack who ignored him completely.
Ennis’ explanation seemed to satisfy K.C. and the other man went back to his conversation with Hank just as Bull rose from the table giving Ennis a way out. He extricated himself from the bench quickly, mumbling something about having to hitch up the wagon as he left.
Jack turned watching him go, doing his best not to laugh but unable to keep the small smile from his face then he rose and headed out the door after him. When he got to the stable he found Ennis pacing back and forth, his expression dark and his eyes fierce.
“What are ya doin’ Jack?” He asked as he stopped moving.
“I thought I’d help ya git the wagon hitched up.” Jack replied innocently.
“That ain’t what I mean and ya know it. I’m talkin’ about the way ya was…touchin’ me in there.” Ennis said, his voice becoming a whisper.
Jack bit his lip, looking away as he tried to keep a straight face.
“Well…it was crowded at the table and…”
“Jack.” Ennis said sternly and jack finally relented.
“Well that’s what ya git for ignorin’ me. Anyways, I was just playin’.”
“This ain’t a game Jack. Somebody could a seen ya. They coulda been watchin’.”
“Ennis they can’t see through the table. Anyway Billy’s the only one who’d be watchin’ us and he was outside.”
“Billy? Why would he be watchin’ us?”
“Uh…no…no reason.”
“Jack, why would Billy be watchin’ us?” He asked again stepping toward him, his eyes narrowed.
“Well… he…he sorta knows about us.”
“What!”
“Well not really. It’s just that Barnes saw me come in here after ya the night ya seen me at the washtub and then he saw us talkin’ at the corral and I guess he thought there was somethin’ goin’ on and he told Billy what he seen and…”
“And you’re just tellin’ me this now?” Ennis asked running a nervous hand through his hair as he started to pace once more.
“Well…”
“Wait a minute. Was that what the fight was about?”
”No.” Jack answered quickly and Ennis stared back at him not trusting the answer.
“Well… kinda. Not entirely.”
“I can’t believe this. What if he says somethin’.”
“He won’t.”
“Ya don’t know that Jack.”
“Ennis if he was gonna say somethin’ he’d have done it already. Besides they’ll just think he’s tryin’ to stir things up cause he don’t like me.”
Ennis glanced over at him; chewing on a thumbnail, his face full of worry.
“Yeah, maybe but ya should have told me Jack.”
“Well, I was gonna but I…I kinda got distracted last night.”
Ennis looked up at that, his cheeks heating up and he looked away again.
“Beside I knew ya would just…”
“What?”
“I just figured if I told ya you’d run the other way. We was just gettin’ to be friends again and I thought ya wouldn’t want nothin’ more to do with me if ya found out somebody knew.”
Ennis stood there looking at him, Jack’s head down and his shoulders hunched then he sighed taking a step toward him. Jack looked up and Ennis just shook his head.
“I guess I can’t blame ya for that considerin' the way I acted before but…but I ain’t runnin’ Jack. I said we’d be friends always and I meant it.”
“Me too.”
“I know ya think I’m bein' silly to worry so much but…”
“Naw, Ennis I don’t. It’s just that…sometimes I wish we didn’t have to worry about it. I wish folks would just let be.”
“I know but until such a time I don’t see as we got a choice.”
“Yeah but still...” He trailed off.
“I don’t rightly understand what we got goin’ on here but I know I ain’t never felt…I know it feels right and I don’t want somebody comin’ along tellin’ me it’s wrong. I don’t want no one takin’ this away from me Jack so if I’m more careful then I got a be well…”
“Ennis, I don’t want that neither and I’m sorry about what I done before. I shouldn’t have.”
“I know ya didn’t mean no harm it’s just…sometimes bein’ around ya I...I just scare myself with how much…how much I want...aw hell I ain’t no good at sayin’ this sortta stuff.” He said turning away, feeling exasperated.
“Ya know I feel the same way don’t ya? Ain’t no easier for me.”
“Well, it sure seems like it is.”
“Well it ain’t. Hell I ain’t stopped thinkin’ on ya for more then a second since I met ya Ennis.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
They stared at each other not saying a word, both feeling their desire stir but knowing they couldn’t act on it then Ennis ran a hand over his face, clearing his throat.
“We…uh best git the harness.”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know what we gonna do about Billy though. I don’t trust him and the way he’s so jealous of ya I can see him usin' it against ya.” Ennis said stepping into the tack room to get the gear.
“Well, maybe so but I don’t see that there’s anythin' we can do about it in any case.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” Ennis replied as he walked over to him.
“Ain’t nothin’ else ya forgot to tell me is there?”
“Naw.” Jack smiled.
“Good cause if we’re gonna be in this…this thing together then we can’t have no secrets like that. It’s just too dangerous. Ok?”
“I know.”
“Hell first Charlie and now Billy it’s a wonder…”
“Charlie? He knows too?” Jack asked staring at him in disbelief.
“Uh…yeah…well…” Ennis stammered as he faced him.
“So looks like I ain’t the only one been keepin’ secrets.”
“Well…that’s different.”
“How’s that?”
“Cause …cause Charlie…well he don’t care.”
“How do ya know that?”
“Cause he told me he don’t and I’ve never known him to be a liar.”
“So, what ya just sittin’ around havin’ long conversations about it or somethin’?”
“Of course not. He just seen somethin’, like Barnes and well…he figured things out that’s all but he said it wasn’t none of his business so I figure he ain’t got no intentions of sayin’ nothin’ about it to no one.”
“Hmm. Still should have told me Ennis. Ya ain’t got no right gettin’ mad...”
“I know. You’re right, I should have told ya.” He interrupted.
Jack looked over at him still frowning and Ennis smiled at him.
“So ya gonna be mad at me all day now?”
“Maybe.” Jack said a small pout on his lips then he smiled back. “Maybe not.”
“What the hell are ya boys doin’ in here knittin’ that harness?” Bull asked smiling as he came through the door.
“Got it right here.” Ennis answered as they both turned and headed out after the big man leaving any further discussion for the road.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arlene, Texas was a quiet little hamlet set out on the plains ten miles from the Triple T ranch. It was a small collection of houses and shops, white washed and weather beaten forming a crossroads on the prairie and serving as a stop along the Butterfield Stagecoach line.
It was a town like many in northern Texas with little to recommend it over any other but Jack had found the people friendly and he couldn’t help thinking if it hadn’t been for that he would not have found his way to Ennis.
Jack looked over at him where he sat, the wagon creaking as it dipped up and down on the uneven path and he couldn’t help the smile that warmed his face just from being near the other man. Ennis turned toward him then, smiling and Jack smiled back before turning his attention to the town. He took a good look around not having noticed much on his last visit, too hungry and weary at the time to concern himself with his surroundings.
There was a church at the edge of town, the bell outside ringing loudly as a passel of kids ran for the door and Jack figured it doubled as a school house like the one back home. He wondered if it was like that everywhere or just in Texas but had little time to contemplate as the billowing smoke from the blacksmith’s shop drew his eyes to the other side of the street.
The hiss of cooling steel and the ring of the hammer were familiar sounds and a nice accompaniment to the music coming out of the saloon, which sat beside it. Jack was surprised to see it open so early but he reckoned when there was money to be made propriety was overlooked.
It was not a problem at the Standish Hotel though, a fine establishment and one of the few buildings in town with gingerbread trim and a fresh coat of paint. It boasted the softest featherbeds in the territory but Jack had not had the money last time he was in town to put that boast to the test and on this trip he didn’t have the time.
Darby’s restaurant sat across the street from the hotel not quite so fancy or expensive and it seemed to be doing a good bit of business as they rode by despite the sign on the building right next door advertising both a physician and an undertaker.
He smiled at that then looked over as Bull reined in his horses stopping the wagon he drove in front of the gunsmith’s shop. Ennis pulled up along side him exchanging a nod then continued down the street to the mercantile. They climbed down from the wagon a few minutes later Ennis wrapping the reins around the hitching post before they headed up the steps and through the double doors.
As they approached the counter Ennis pulled two slips of paper from his shirt pocket, a list of supplies on one and a list of personal things the men needed on the other.
“Mornin’.” The proprietor said, a warm smile on his face.
“Mornin’. Uh…I’m Ennis delMar from the Triple T. I come to git supplies.” Ennis replied handing the longer of the two lists to the man figuring it was likely the right one.
“Oh yes, Red said he’d be sendin’ ya in today. Lets have a look here.” The man replied taking the list in hand.
“I should have most of this in the back. I tell ya what, let me git this rounded up and I’ll set it by the side doors. When I’m done ya can bring your wagon around and we’ll git ya loaded up. Be a lot easier then carryin’ everythin’ out front.”
“Sure enough.”
“Shouldn’t take too long.” He said before disappearing through a curtained doorway to gather their supplies.
Ennis turned around looking at Jack then down at the list he still held.
“Jack?”
“Yeah?” He said looking over his shoulder at him.
“Uh…maybe ya could…”
“Here let me see.” Jack said taking the list from him and tearing it in half.
“What are ya doin’?”
“Take that half and I’ll take the other.”
“Jack ya know I can’t…”
“Yes ya can. Just sound it out like I showed ya.”
“Jack this ain’t no readin’ lesson.”
“Well it is now. Go on give it a try.”
Ennis frowned at him then looked down at the paper scratching his head. Then he turned away as a young man in an apron stepped behind the counter feeling embarrassed before sounding out the letters of the first item on the list.
“T…oh…buh…ah…cc…oh…toe…buhah…coh…ta…bacco. Tobacco?”
“See, I told ya it was easy.” Jack smiled at him.
“Well I wouldn’t say it was easy but I sure enough read it, didn’t I?” He smiled back.
“Ya sure enough did.”
“Can I help ya with anythin'?” The clerk asked eyeing the two men.
“We’re just waitin’ on the supplies.” Ennis said in response.
“Well if there’s anythin’ else ya need just let me know.”
“Well we do need a few other things. Ennis here needs a pouch of tobacco.”
“Uh…two actually.” Ennis said needing one for himself, the other for K.C.
“Certainly.” The young man said stepping away to retrieve the goods.
They spent the next few minutes wandering about the store collecting the things they needed for themselves as well those on their lists asking the clerk for help with what they couldn’t find then they returned to the counter, their goods laid out before them.
Jack looked over everything to be sure they had it all, asking the shop clerk for three bottles of Castor oil to complete the list, Ennis setting several item of his own on the counter beside the rest.
“Do ya sell tooth powder?” Jack asked.
“Sure do. Ya like Country Gent?”
“Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll take four.”
“Don’t know why ya need that. We got bakin’ soda.” Ennis said looking over at the small metal tins.
“I like this better. Beside it taste like peppermint.”
“Does huh?”
“Yep.”
“Well, maybe I’ll try some of that myself. I’ll just take one though.” He said as the fella laid another tin on the counter.
About that time the proprietor returned and Ennis handed Jack the money the men had given him for their purchases and some of his own before heading outside to move the wagon.
Jack watched him go then turned back to the clerk asking him about something he had spotted on the shelf and choosing one or two more things he wanted before paying for the goods and joining Ennis outside.
They loaded the wagon quickly, Jack finishing up as he tossed in a large sack of flour and some beans then he headed around to the front of the wagon while Ennis settled up with the owner of the store. The goods were added to Mr. Taylor’s account and when Ennis was finished he stepped around the wagon prepared to leave but found Jack wasn’t there.
He spotted him standing just a few feet away at the edge of the alley staring toward the street and he watched him curiously as he walked up beside him wondering what had captured his attention so completely. Ennis glanced around but saw nothing out of the ordinary and frowned before turning to Jack.
“What are ya lookin’ at?”
Jack didn’t answer right away just continued to stare ahead of him and Ennis looked over at him concern on his face. He set a hand on Jack’s shoulder getting his attention and Jack looked up finally, his eyes haunted and his expression bleak.
“What’s the matter?”
“See that woman over there?"
Ennis looked in the direction he was pointing then nodded as he spotted a frail looking woman in a blue dress standing outside the stage office.
“That’s my Mama."
“Your mama?” Ennis asked surprise on his face.
“I never thought I’d see her again. I can’t figure what she’d be doin’ here though.” Jack said taking another step forward.
“Well, ya want to go talk to her?”
“Naw, I…I don’t that be a good idea. We…we should probably just go.” Jack answered nervously looking up and down the street.
“Ya ain’t gonna see her for an awful long time. Maybe ya should.”
“Naw, she…she wouldn’t have come all this way by herself and he’s probably…” He trailed off lowering his head, biting his lip.
“Your daddy?”
“Yeah. Best if we just go.” He said reluctantly turning away.
He took two steps then stopped realizing Ennis wasn’t following and he turned to see the other man standing where he’d left him, his fists clenched at his side.
“Ennis?”
“That him?” Ennis asked his voice cold.
Jack looked up seeing his father across the street and the memory of every ugly taunt and vicious beating he had suffered at his hands came crashing in on him. He could feel himself shake, bile rising in his throat and he thought he might be sick. His stomach twisted in knots, the fear of his father no less now then it had been the day he had fled and it shamed him. It made him feel small and weak and he hated himself for it but he hated his father more. He had spent his life seeking the man’s love and approval only to be treated with disdain and disgust and it made him angry that his father could still make him feel worthless just by being in his presence.
Then he turned looking at Ennis, nodding in response unable to speak, not wanting to say aloud that he was kin to the bitter old man. Ennis stared back at him; his expression softening as he saw the turmoil in Jack’s eyes and he seemed to understand what Jack was feeling without needing to be told.
Perhaps it was this more then anything that made Jack see the truth and shake off his fear. He had always felt so alone, unable to fight back, never strong enough to stand up to the man who had sired him but he wasn’t alone anymore. He wasn’t a scared little kid hiding in closets or under beds to avoid a beating.
Jack was a man whose skills with a rope and a horse were valued by the men he worked beside everyday and he had earned their respect through the hard work he had put in. He had also won the friendship of a better man then his father could ever hope to be and that alone told him that he wasn’t unworthy of the things he had sought from his father but rather that his father was unworthy of the importance Jack had afforded his love.
A movement beside him caught his attention and Jack looked up to see Ennis heading toward the street but he stopped him, reaching out to take hold of his arm.
“Ennis, where ya goin’?”
“I got somethin’ I want to say to that man.” He replied, clenching his jaw.
“Ennis, it’s Ok. I got a few things I want to say to him myself.”
Ennis nodded once seeing that this was something Jack needed to do and knowing that his own desire to inflict harm on Jack’s father would just have to wait. Then he watched as Jack took a deep breath, gathering up his courage and he followed him out into the street.
TBC