What volcano?
Plan A
14th April - Go home to Hua Hin from London with suitcase full of kids' clothes and toys. Stay one night in Bangkok before taking bus to Hua Hin the next day. Stay a week, return to Bangkok on the 23rd, then scrounge a lift back to London on a standby ticket with an empty suitcase (at 00:20 on 24th) as that day's flight still has plenty of space.
Plan B
15th April - after suitcase doesn't arrive on my flight (it's "probably" still in London), arrange for it to be sent to Hua Hin when it does arrive, probably on the next flight on the 16th. Instead of staying a night, take 2-hour bus journey to Hua Hin, dutifully marvel at wife's new haircut, remind son of his absentee father, fall asleep for ten hours.
Plan C
16th April - Ash cloud from Olympus Mons spreads to Earth and shuts down European civilisation. Can't contact BA's London Baggage Tracing office from Thailand as the only numbers in my possession are 0800 and 0845 codes. Bangkok Baggage Tracing are more certain suitcase is stranded at Heathrow Terminal 3, 10,000 kilometres away; ask them to send a message to London not to forward the suitcase but send it to father's address in the UK instead.
Plan D
17th April - Ask family member in UK to call BA Baggage Tracing to confirm they have my instructions. BA are not answering the phone on either number. Travel three hours further south to in-laws' place in remote Bang Saphan, where they've just discovered something called the internet.
18th April - BA still not answering the phone. Hear that Western civilisation has shut down completely, suitcase could be anywhere, possibly in the rings of Saturn where most lost luggage ends up. Forget about the suitcase, I probably won't see it again and anyway, everything inside can be replaced.
Plan E
19th April - Get a call on my mobile from BA in London, they have my suitcase in Terminal 3 but the entire resources of the World's Favourite Baggage Loser aren't sufficient to send it anywhere at the moment as they are "snowed under". (So, snow in April too. The planet's ecosystem must indeed be falling apart.) Ask them to keep suitcase until I arrive, possibly later this year or early next. E-mail my manager to tell her I am one of the millions of travellers who are tragically dislocated and dispossessed, and almost certainly unable to return to work on the 25th as planned.
Plan F
20th April - Via Thai television and translated by spouse into English, there are rumours of flights resuming from London to Bangkok, but BA's website says everything to/from Bangkok is still cancelled and their Bangkok office is telling travellers there are no flights planned. Do some research by making a few calls. Try to enjoy the 40ºC heat and turn up the air conditioning another notch. Plan on returning to Bangkok to catch first available flight, undoubtedly on a jump-seat if I can get on at all, on an as yet undetermined date.
Plan G
21st April - More research: our contacts in BKK engineering are saying there will be a BA flight at 00:20 tomorrow morning despite conflicting advice. Drive six hours north to Bangkok to attempt to catch that flight. Our old car breaks down twice with an overheated fuel pump, return to Bang Saphan, wonder why I'm bothering at all, why not just stay here and not return to Old Blighty for just one week. Remind myself I need to work to feed the family, I have a suitcase to collect, a car to sell and a wedding to go to. The flight does leave but without me on it, but it's no great tragedy yet. Consider flying to Hong Kong on the 24th as a last resort, where Cathay Pacific and BA have a combined six flights a day to London compared to the one available to me at Bangkok.
Plan H
22 April - Finally get to Bangkok, arrive at airport nice and early to try for the flight at 00:20 on the 23rd but BA have cancelled as no plane has arrived from Sydney. Airport is packed and tempers are evidently fraying. Qantas has an embargo on staff travel, and Thai Airways just laugh at my request for a jump-seat. Fair enough, but no harm in asking. Become amused by the conversation of a group of coddled Scandinavians who are treating this like it's the evacuation of Saigon: "Why isn't Stockholm doing anything? Take us back home!" Me, I'm actually grateful for one more night with the family. Hear alarming stories about Cathay Pacific's dreadful treatment of passengers in Hong Kong; they actually don't want any more people turning up from elsewhere in Asia trying to get to Europe. Okay, forget about trying that route.
All of which comes back to:
Plan A
23 April - Arrive at airport, scrounge a lift on the BA flight at 00:20 on the 24th as originally intended ten days ago. Huzzah! A jump-seat's available. In gratitude, buy the crew a box of duty-free chocolates which always goes down well. At Terminal 3 pick up suitcase which actually never went to Saturn. BA have even attached a note to the suitcase apologising for not putting it on my flight to Bangkok.
Moral of the story: travel is either an adventure, or it isn't. The choice is yours. Before leaving make alternative arrangements that keep your options open, and when things do go wrong, anticipate, do your research, be resourceful and keep your sense of humour and a cool head, no matter what.
Plan B
Plan C
Plan D
Plan E
Plan F
Plan G
Plan H
All of which comes back to:
Plan A
Moral of the story: travel is either an adventure, or it isn't. The choice is yours. Before leaving make alternative arrangements that keep your options open, and when things do go wrong, anticipate, do your research, be resourceful and keep your sense of humour and a cool head, no matter what.