Why ask if you're going to do it anyway?
Before Christmas my mother asked if I wanted her to bring me a box of marzipan from See's Candy. She has given me my own box for years. However, this year I have changed my eating habits and have reduced my weight by over 30 pounds thus far. My mother said she knew I was trying hard to loose weight and didn't want to make it harder for me. She even told me she was impressed by the willpower I had shown. I was so touched by her thoughtfulness, and told her so. I thanked her for thinking about me and asked that she NOT bring me a box of candy because I wasn't sure I could withstand the temptation. She indicated she was bringing candy for other members of the family and hoped it wouldn't be too much of a temptation for me. I assured her I would be fine as long as I didn't have my own box.
My mother arrived with a box of peanut brittle, several boxes of nuts and chews, a box of assorted chocolates, chocolate covered macadamia nuts, and at least a pound of M&Ms. My willpower waivered and I did eat several pieces. Monday morning, Christmas Eve, when it was just the two of us, my mother handed me my own box of marzipan. Now it was only a half pound instead of the usual full pound but it was still a box of marzipan. "I thought we'd talked about this and you had agreed not to bring any chocolate to me," I said. "I thought you could just hide this someplace until you really wanted a piece," she replied.
What??? Do you encourage an alcoholic to keep a bottle of his favorite spirits just in case? Do you give a recovering addict a vial of cocaine to hide until later? Then why give me a box of candy?
She refused to take the box back so I reluctantly accepted it. That night I decided I would give the box back to her. If she refused to take it back, I was going to dump the contents in the garbage in front of her. I knew that would be a bold move and wasn't really sure how she would react. When I went to get the box, which I had left out with all the other candy, there were only five pieces left. I don't know who ate them and I don't really care as long as it wasn't me. (Okay, I did eat one piece.) However, with just a few pieces left giving the box back to my mother had lost its impact so I did nothing. When I get back from taking them to the airport this morning all of the candy is going in the trash. I may even toss it down the disposal just for good measure.
I am so hurt by my mother's actions--especially since she had indicated she would support my efforts. Why did she even bother to ask if she was going to bring the candy anyway? Obviously my needs don't mean anything to her.
My mother arrived with a box of peanut brittle, several boxes of nuts and chews, a box of assorted chocolates, chocolate covered macadamia nuts, and at least a pound of M&Ms. My willpower waivered and I did eat several pieces. Monday morning, Christmas Eve, when it was just the two of us, my mother handed me my own box of marzipan. Now it was only a half pound instead of the usual full pound but it was still a box of marzipan. "I thought we'd talked about this and you had agreed not to bring any chocolate to me," I said. "I thought you could just hide this someplace until you really wanted a piece," she replied.
What??? Do you encourage an alcoholic to keep a bottle of his favorite spirits just in case? Do you give a recovering addict a vial of cocaine to hide until later? Then why give me a box of candy?
She refused to take the box back so I reluctantly accepted it. That night I decided I would give the box back to her. If she refused to take it back, I was going to dump the contents in the garbage in front of her. I knew that would be a bold move and wasn't really sure how she would react. When I went to get the box, which I had left out with all the other candy, there were only five pieces left. I don't know who ate them and I don't really care as long as it wasn't me. (Okay, I did eat one piece.) However, with just a few pieces left giving the box back to my mother had lost its impact so I did nothing. When I get back from taking them to the airport this morning all of the candy is going in the trash. I may even toss it down the disposal just for good measure.
I am so hurt by my mother's actions--especially since she had indicated she would support my efforts. Why did she even bother to ask if she was going to bring the candy anyway? Obviously my needs don't mean anything to her.