(no subject)
Okay. So now is about the time where I do a real journal update. Where I tell everyone what's been going on in my life..
Let's rewind back to the beginning of April.
Kiwifruit started. Yay! Since then everything basically has revolved around work. It all started off with a hiss and a bang.. I got straight into working 15hrs a day, 7 days a week (compared to previously working maybe 10hrs a week doing Avocados.. it was quite a shock to the system). I quickly got into the routine of things, waking up at 6am, going to bed at midnight.. 6hrs sleep was okay. Who needs a day off anyway? I worked something like 18 days straight to begin with.. I worked hard. I broke a sweat almost every day.
Fast-forward 8 weeks to the present. I'm tired. I have permanent bags under my eyes from wearing myself down. I've realised that _too many_ of my friends are at work. It's gotten to a point where when I'm not at work, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know who to text, because I don't know what to do with anyone. Any conversation with me always winds back to work. Right now, as I'm typing away, all I can think about is the packhouse. I'm thinking about the issues I had last night with my job. All the screw-ups with the machinery and how I can't fix it. I think about numbers. I'm a counter. All day I have a random procession of numbers running through my head. 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30.. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6... AH CRAP THE COUNT'S WRONG!
I'm a workaholic.
The first step is admitting I have a problem.
I think I need help. Going away to Wellington was such an awesome thing to do. I really really loved seeing you, Cathryn. Going away made me wonder what the hell I'm still doing up here. I got back to work on the Tuesday night after 2.5hrs sleep and my eyes were so opened wide. I'm better than just a 'worker'. I find it insulting when anyone inside work referrs to me as a good worker. I mean, okay, it's a compliment... but does 'worker' make you think of an Ant Farm or what? I think of a worker ant, working for the greater colony. Working for the queen. OR maybe I'm thinking of a worker bee. Either way.. you work your arse off, and get kind of no reward for it.
There was a supervisor position up for grabs a few weeks ago at work. I think it was Easter Weekend. Kalo, Raewyn and I were all 'up' for the job. Kalo and I got drunk, and didn't show up for work. Haha. Raewyn got the job. I can't complain about not getting the job. I wouldn't give it to me either. I mean, really, a 20yr old. Do you -think- I'd be taken seriously? Mm, no. Although, half the packers think I'm a supervisor anyway. Ya'know, cos I'm writing this blog right now, I bet I'm goin to jinx any chance I ever had of getting a permanant position at Seeka. Oh well.
I feel the love in this room.
Aint the new layout sexy? Since I've actually made a real update now, you had all better comment and stuff.
Oh, and new
pictures
. Yay.
My old big black jacket is way too big for me, too. Yay. It used to fit me just right. Now I can wrap the front around tighter than the buttons allow it to go. It overlaps by 6 inches. Cool, huh?