Entrapment
Well, here's something I was thinking of earlier at work today. Entrapment. For those unfamiliar with what entrapment is, it's essentially when cops set up a situation which they put a "suspect" in and get them to do something which they normally wouldn't do. Normally that action is a criminal offense, and as you might imagine, it is actually illegal for cops to entrap someone. However, there are other forms of entrapment which do not involve the cops, or any illegal actions. The specific kind that I've been thinking about is the kind found in relationships.
Now, while it is a sterotype that the female gender does like to play mind games, I have to admit that the male gender is not innocent of this eather. Though, they might not be as subtle, on occasion guys do this. One common form of entrapment that's committed by both genders is the kind which involves one's significant other cheating. Now, some people might think that "all's fair in love in war", especially when it comes to infidelity and finding out if the person you're with will or won't be faithful. But lets face it, when you place someone in such a sitation, set them up.... chances are that eventually they will cave in. While this might be something that they wouldn't normally do, even under extreme circumstances, we continue to press the trap, ever paraniod that they will fall....and yet when they do, we tend to be surprised. Now why is that?
Let me give you a few examples, both committed by myself and that I've found myself in.
A few years ago, I was dating someone who's bisexual. We had been dating for a solid few months. She had a female friend who was also bisexual and they were close friends. Never did I think that she was being unfaithful to me. Never had the subject of a threesome been brought up eather. However, one night while we were all intoxicated, they appearently decided to see what my reaction would be. At first, I tried to disagree, but they continued to play the game that they were interested in it, wouldn't have a problem with it, ect. ect. When I finally cave in, shit hit the fan. My girlfriend at the time became disappointed and hurt because I had agreed to the threesome and I was left confused. It wasn't until I got her to tell me what happened that I had explained, because obviously it wasn't caught, that I was reluctant at first, and for awhile, about the threesome because I had not had a good experience with the only threesome I had experienced and had finally agreed to it because she had wanted it. Still, I ended up looking like the bad guy because I had agreed to it. Inspite of everything.
Another instance actually took place last year. At the time, I had the suspecion that my soon to be fiance was cheating on me. So, after coming up with the idea with a good friend of mine, I had set it up so that he would "seduce" her and that he would tell me if it worked or not. Safe to say, the idea backfired right in my face, with them having an affair and me not knowing about it, but only have suspecions and no solid evidence. My suspecions were proven correct several months later after things completely ended with my ex-fiance and I confronted him about it.
Now, while in the case of my ex-fiance, while she was cheating on me before hand, that still doesn't put me in the right for setting her up like that. However, this brings up a good question. When we have that gut feeling, and not just paranoia, that something's happening... how do we go about finding out if we are right? We can't rely on their friends, because most of the time, their friends will cover for us... and any mutual friends might do the same thing... or plain out not get involved (unless they tend to be the type of individual that would say something). Anything short of catching them in the act, or if someone claims to have caught them in the act... then them showing us photographic proof (cause lets face it, we have cameras on everything now adays), will make it fall into that grey zone of uncertainty or entrapment. Still, when we have that feeling, it's one that won't go away until we are satisifed with the results. Cause as secure as we might be with ourselfs, and our significant other, that feeling will linger there... and you know that most likely they will deny, deny, deny. So, to anyone who has any idea on how to solve this delema, please... let us know. Cause personally, it would save myself, and others, a giant head (and heart) ache.... and I am pretty sure that it would put you up for atleast a noble prize nomination.
Now, while it is a sterotype that the female gender does like to play mind games, I have to admit that the male gender is not innocent of this eather. Though, they might not be as subtle, on occasion guys do this. One common form of entrapment that's committed by both genders is the kind which involves one's significant other cheating. Now, some people might think that "all's fair in love in war", especially when it comes to infidelity and finding out if the person you're with will or won't be faithful. But lets face it, when you place someone in such a sitation, set them up.... chances are that eventually they will cave in. While this might be something that they wouldn't normally do, even under extreme circumstances, we continue to press the trap, ever paraniod that they will fall....and yet when they do, we tend to be surprised. Now why is that?
Let me give you a few examples, both committed by myself and that I've found myself in.
A few years ago, I was dating someone who's bisexual. We had been dating for a solid few months. She had a female friend who was also bisexual and they were close friends. Never did I think that she was being unfaithful to me. Never had the subject of a threesome been brought up eather. However, one night while we were all intoxicated, they appearently decided to see what my reaction would be. At first, I tried to disagree, but they continued to play the game that they were interested in it, wouldn't have a problem with it, ect. ect. When I finally cave in, shit hit the fan. My girlfriend at the time became disappointed and hurt because I had agreed to the threesome and I was left confused. It wasn't until I got her to tell me what happened that I had explained, because obviously it wasn't caught, that I was reluctant at first, and for awhile, about the threesome because I had not had a good experience with the only threesome I had experienced and had finally agreed to it because she had wanted it. Still, I ended up looking like the bad guy because I had agreed to it. Inspite of everything.
Another instance actually took place last year. At the time, I had the suspecion that my soon to be fiance was cheating on me. So, after coming up with the idea with a good friend of mine, I had set it up so that he would "seduce" her and that he would tell me if it worked or not. Safe to say, the idea backfired right in my face, with them having an affair and me not knowing about it, but only have suspecions and no solid evidence. My suspecions were proven correct several months later after things completely ended with my ex-fiance and I confronted him about it.
Now, while in the case of my ex-fiance, while she was cheating on me before hand, that still doesn't put me in the right for setting her up like that. However, this brings up a good question. When we have that gut feeling, and not just paranoia, that something's happening... how do we go about finding out if we are right? We can't rely on their friends, because most of the time, their friends will cover for us... and any mutual friends might do the same thing... or plain out not get involved (unless they tend to be the type of individual that would say something). Anything short of catching them in the act, or if someone claims to have caught them in the act... then them showing us photographic proof (cause lets face it, we have cameras on everything now adays), will make it fall into that grey zone of uncertainty or entrapment. Still, when we have that feeling, it's one that won't go away until we are satisifed with the results. Cause as secure as we might be with ourselfs, and our significant other, that feeling will linger there... and you know that most likely they will deny, deny, deny. So, to anyone who has any idea on how to solve this delema, please... let us know. Cause personally, it would save myself, and others, a giant head (and heart) ache.... and I am pretty sure that it would put you up for atleast a noble prize nomination.