TM # 187-Which is the more exquisite sensation: revenge, relief, or vindication?
TM # 187- Which is the more exquisite sensation: revenge, relief, or vindication?
In the last year, I have experienced all three sensations, some multiple times, and I can tell you, the one that really stayed with me? None of them.
I stabbed Doctor Baltar in the neck with a pen. He definitely had it coming, and no, I am not going to discuss what he said to me, not now, nor any other time. I've also held a gun on him and, well, tried my best to bury him on the witness stand. I might not have done that, if Captain Adama hadn't put Hera at risk with his line of questioning. Captain Agathon looked like he was going across the court and dismembering Apollo with his bare hands for a second there. Baltar has damaged so many families, and he has so much to answer for....
I won't say it's revenge, though. Revenge never feels good for long.
Relief is about the same; it's quick, and intense, the feeling you get when the Cylons didn't seize control of the computers and blow up the ship, or you make it off New Caprica, or you don't get blown out of an airlock, or the XO won't allow you to be reviled by a mean drunk in public. It's transitory, a rush from one place to the next, and generally leaves you shakier and more fearful than you were in the first place.
Vindication? Sure, it's great. Almost as good as toilet paper. Because who doesn't like to hear someone they were about to kill, or who they thought was a traitor, or a Cylon, or a computer nerd loser who can't get a date or win a triad game or shoot a bad President say. "I was right!"
People have died to be right. Or killed people to be, if you are Zarek. But it's shades of gray, most times, and it's hard to dig in when you can't ever be completely sure that the other side is just as right as you. I mean, the Cylons think blowing up the Colonies was the right thing to do, even though we humans violently disagree.
Relief, revenge, vindication. None of them top Helo patting me on the shoulder in the CIC when he gives me an order, or catching Dee's eye when Tigh does the Drunk Walk, or the Admiral's raised eyebrow and approving nod. None of them feel better than having the Chief and Samuel T. Anders make room for me at the bar at Joe's, or having Racetrack ask me for help with a theoretical problem.
The most exquisite sensations of all are the small ones. The everyday ones, that help us survive and prove that we aren't by ourselves, that we've got someone else to get through the day with. Thank you all for those sensations.
In the last year, I have experienced all three sensations, some multiple times, and I can tell you, the one that really stayed with me? None of them.
I stabbed Doctor Baltar in the neck with a pen. He definitely had it coming, and no, I am not going to discuss what he said to me, not now, nor any other time. I've also held a gun on him and, well, tried my best to bury him on the witness stand. I might not have done that, if Captain Adama hadn't put Hera at risk with his line of questioning. Captain Agathon looked like he was going across the court and dismembering Apollo with his bare hands for a second there. Baltar has damaged so many families, and he has so much to answer for....
I won't say it's revenge, though. Revenge never feels good for long.
Relief is about the same; it's quick, and intense, the feeling you get when the Cylons didn't seize control of the computers and blow up the ship, or you make it off New Caprica, or you don't get blown out of an airlock, or the XO won't allow you to be reviled by a mean drunk in public. It's transitory, a rush from one place to the next, and generally leaves you shakier and more fearful than you were in the first place.
Vindication? Sure, it's great. Almost as good as toilet paper. Because who doesn't like to hear someone they were about to kill, or who they thought was a traitor, or a Cylon, or a computer nerd loser who can't get a date or win a triad game or shoot a bad President say. "I was right!"
People have died to be right. Or killed people to be, if you are Zarek. But it's shades of gray, most times, and it's hard to dig in when you can't ever be completely sure that the other side is just as right as you. I mean, the Cylons think blowing up the Colonies was the right thing to do, even though we humans violently disagree.
Relief, revenge, vindication. None of them top Helo patting me on the shoulder in the CIC when he gives me an order, or catching Dee's eye when Tigh does the Drunk Walk, or the Admiral's raised eyebrow and approving nod. None of them feel better than having the Chief and Samuel T. Anders make room for me at the bar at Joe's, or having Racetrack ask me for help with a theoretical problem.
The most exquisite sensations of all are the small ones. The everyday ones, that help us survive and prove that we aren't by ourselves, that we've got someone else to get through the day with. Thank you all for those sensations.