Medicine, Ritual, Empathy and Psychism
A lot's been going on lately, and very little of it has ended up here. That's ok- it means I have a life! Yesterday I went shopping with D, went to L's birthday party, and then went to the EVMS Fall Ball. Today, I had lunch with exedore's friend B, who was in town for an EMS conference. I spent this afternoon in the anatomy lab, being an anatomy instructor for the same EMS conference. It was enormous fun. Tomorrow, I will study physiology and hopefully pass the test on monday (though the class sucks so bad that I still don't have any idea what I'm supposed to be learning).
One thing that struck me last week, that I thought I'd mention. Over the last couple of months, between Mabon and Samhain, I'd been focusing on the path of power of psychic development. Mostly this had taken the form of trying to reintegrate my empathy into my daily life. Reading tarot cards or scrying has never appealed much to me. Knowing who's around the next corner, or what the person I'm talking to is feeling and how they need me to respond is very useful. Call it psychism, call it intuition, it works the same way: I pay attention to what's going on, I listen to my inner voice, and I just know. I was fairly good at it when I was younger, but over the last few years I'd gotten into the habit of shutting that sense out, because it was inconvenient. I think at this point in my life I am balanced enough within myself to open back up again.
Last week, I had a history practice session in Introduction to the Patient. I spend 45 minutes getting a medical history from one of our Standardized Patients and then he gave me feedback for 15 minutes. I had the session on a bad day, and I went into it in a terrible mood. I felt much better when I was done, I felt like I'd gotten the hang of talking to a patient and that, while I certainly need to put a few finishing touches on my question list, I'm pretty good at this.
Later that afternoon, as I was thinking about how I'd felt when I was working with the SP, something else occurred to me. What I do when I'm speaking to a patient is essentially the same thing that I do when I'm leading a religious ritual. I know the basic form and the information that needs to be communicated, and I listen to my instinct for the words and the style with which to do it. This is very curious, because I have always thought of that intuitive obedience in ritual as a way of letting the gods speak through me. I wouldn't say that about the medical history- I don't want to develop a "god complex" the way some doctors seem to. I need a different metaphor for medicine, but there are a lot of similarities between the two processes.
The medical history and physical exam is a ritual in the purest sense of the word. It's a series of words and actions performed in a similar way every time in order to get the same results: an increase in the patient's health. In both cases, the person directing the ritual is presumed to have more knowledge than the person or people who benefit most directly from it. Based on my experience with group religious ritual, the Priestess's purpose is not to serve her own needs, it is to serve the needs of her circle. She is the conduit through which the blessings pass. She must listen to the needs of her circle with all of her senses, and address these needs as best she can. In order to do this, she must largely set her own ego aside. And, within reason, if the Priestess is having a bad day it is still her responsibility to serve the needs of her circle. As ninthraven would say: "fake it 'till you make it."
Similarly, in medicine, the doctor's purpose is to serve the needs of the patient. She is the conduit through which knowledge and medical care pass, but the knowledge and care not hers to withhold, they're only hers to give. The doctor must set her own ego aside and refrain from making inappropriate judgements, because the practice of medicine is not about her. She must listen to the patient's needs with all of her senses, and address these needs as best she can. And if the doctor's having a bad day, it's still her responsibility to serve her patients. Within that concept of service is the very condition that makes empathy and respect possible. And it's that empathy and respect that makes the experience rewarding.
So I'm incorporating everyday psychism back into my life, and trying to incorporate my religious philosophy and my intuition into my understanding of medicine. It's an interesting challenge, and I'm having fun with it at least!
One thing that struck me last week, that I thought I'd mention. Over the last couple of months, between Mabon and Samhain, I'd been focusing on the path of power of psychic development. Mostly this had taken the form of trying to reintegrate my empathy into my daily life. Reading tarot cards or scrying has never appealed much to me. Knowing who's around the next corner, or what the person I'm talking to is feeling and how they need me to respond is very useful. Call it psychism, call it intuition, it works the same way: I pay attention to what's going on, I listen to my inner voice, and I just know. I was fairly good at it when I was younger, but over the last few years I'd gotten into the habit of shutting that sense out, because it was inconvenient. I think at this point in my life I am balanced enough within myself to open back up again.
Last week, I had a history practice session in Introduction to the Patient. I spend 45 minutes getting a medical history from one of our Standardized Patients and then he gave me feedback for 15 minutes. I had the session on a bad day, and I went into it in a terrible mood. I felt much better when I was done, I felt like I'd gotten the hang of talking to a patient and that, while I certainly need to put a few finishing touches on my question list, I'm pretty good at this.
Later that afternoon, as I was thinking about how I'd felt when I was working with the SP, something else occurred to me. What I do when I'm speaking to a patient is essentially the same thing that I do when I'm leading a religious ritual. I know the basic form and the information that needs to be communicated, and I listen to my instinct for the words and the style with which to do it. This is very curious, because I have always thought of that intuitive obedience in ritual as a way of letting the gods speak through me. I wouldn't say that about the medical history- I don't want to develop a "god complex" the way some doctors seem to. I need a different metaphor for medicine, but there are a lot of similarities between the two processes.
The medical history and physical exam is a ritual in the purest sense of the word. It's a series of words and actions performed in a similar way every time in order to get the same results: an increase in the patient's health. In both cases, the person directing the ritual is presumed to have more knowledge than the person or people who benefit most directly from it. Based on my experience with group religious ritual, the Priestess's purpose is not to serve her own needs, it is to serve the needs of her circle. She is the conduit through which the blessings pass. She must listen to the needs of her circle with all of her senses, and address these needs as best she can. In order to do this, she must largely set her own ego aside. And, within reason, if the Priestess is having a bad day it is still her responsibility to serve the needs of her circle. As ninthraven would say: "fake it 'till you make it."
Similarly, in medicine, the doctor's purpose is to serve the needs of the patient. She is the conduit through which knowledge and medical care pass, but the knowledge and care not hers to withhold, they're only hers to give. The doctor must set her own ego aside and refrain from making inappropriate judgements, because the practice of medicine is not about her. She must listen to the patient's needs with all of her senses, and address these needs as best she can. And if the doctor's having a bad day, it's still her responsibility to serve her patients. Within that concept of service is the very condition that makes empathy and respect possible. And it's that empathy and respect that makes the experience rewarding.
So I'm incorporating everyday psychism back into my life, and trying to incorporate my religious philosophy and my intuition into my understanding of medicine. It's an interesting challenge, and I'm having fun with it at least!