The Beckoning of Angels Post 3
I finally set off for home, still in a daze from my encounter with the incredible Andren. I reached our house and went in where my Mom said, “Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.” I went to my room and sat on my bed, still reeling from my experience at the river. I heard the front door open and assumed Beck had returned home for dinner. I soon heard a knock on my door.
“Yeah?” I responded.
Beck came into my room and plopped herself down next to me on my bed.
“What have you been up to, brother of mine?”
“I went fishing at the river.”
Did you catch anything?”
“Umm, uh, no. No, I didn’t”
Beck scrutinized me. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing. What do you mean?”
“You look…strange, different. Did something happen at the river today?”
I just looked at her.
“You saw the angels, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“But there’s more.”
I shrugged.
“You can’t hide anything from me, Tom. Something happened. What was it?”
“Nothing. Nothing happened. I just saw them, that’s all.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. God! How could she do that? I felt she could read my mind.
“Beck, Tom! Dinner’s ready!” our mom’s voice called.
Beck and my eyes were locked in a stare. “This isn’t over, Tom. There’s more and I want to know what it is.”
I quickly looked away from her and hurried to the kitchen to eat.
Our Mom had prepared an omelet with cheese and mushrooms, home fries and fresh green beans. It was delicious. Afterwards, Beck and I helped to clean up and do the dishes.
“Can Tom and I go to Josh and Liz’s?” my sister asked.
“Sure,” our Mom answered.
I gave Beck a dirty look. Normally, I would be glad to have the evening to do as we pleased but I knew my sister wanted to grill me on what happened earlier that day at the river.
We left the house as usual and headed for Josh’s place as we always did. Halfway there, I tried to hurry ahead of her but Beck grabbed my arm and said, “Oh, no! You’re going to tell me what happened today.”
I looked at her helplessly and tears actually filled my eyes.
She seemed to soften. “Tom, what’s wrong? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…Did something bad happen today?”
I shook my head.
“What? What is it?” she asked, concerned.
“I don’t think I can tell you. At least not yet. You’ve got to promise you won’t tell a soul - not Josh, not Liz, not our parents.”
“I promise, Tom, I promise.”
“One of them spoke to me today. That’s all I can say, except that they’re peaceful and friendly. Please, Beck…” the tears spilled down my cheeks. “Please don’t tell anyone and don’t ask me any more right now.” I covered my face with my hands.
My sister hugged me, I think believing the enormity of what it meant to me. “Okay, Tom. I won’t tell a soul, I promise. It’ll be okay.”
I looked into her eyes and saw that she really meant what she’d said. I took a deep breath and we headed for Josh and Liz’s to spend an evening enjoying his crop and the night sky.
*~*~*~*
That night, after having a good time with Josh and Liz, Beck and I headed home. I knew she wanted me to confide in her, but for once, I just couldn’t. If I told her I found out the “angels” were really Wraeththu and that I was considering becoming one of them and leaving my family, I felt it would be too much for even her to keep from our parents, and I wouldn’t blame her. Then if my parents knew, they would tell others and…who knew what these people would do?
I went to bed confused, worried, conflicted and not knowing what I should do. I couldn’t sleep. My mind reeled and my thoughts went round and round about things. I felt an inexorable pull to join them, but what if by doing so I started a conflict between our communities, our race and theirs? Not that I was that important, but just that it would alert the people to their presence. I couldn’t just go missing. My parents and sister would freak. I assumed the humans didn’t know about them because the hara could sense their presence and hide themselves. Obviously they didn’t perceive Josh, Beck, Liz or me as a threat, because they showed themselves, knowing of our being just across the river watching them. I tossed and turned all night. I wanted so badly to be one of them but how on earth could I? What was I going to do? Part of me actually wished I’d never seen them, then my life could be as it always had been, but then…
Finally I got up, dressed and decided to take a walk outside. My mind was racing and I knew I had to be home before my family woke up. I decided to head for Josh’s crop. It was my only hope for peace and sleep. I got there, reached into the knothole in the tree and pulled out the pipe, some matches and some pot. I lit up and breathed deeply wanting more than anything to experience the blissful relief from my dilemma. It finally came and I wished I could take some weed home and smoke some more, but I knew that would jeopardize our secret. I smoked some extra before placing everything carefully back in its place. I barely made it home without wanting to lie down and sleep on the ground. I fell into bed, letting sweet oblivion overtake me.
My dreams were filled with visions of the gorgeous Wraeththu, especially Andren who beckoned to me, took me into his arms and kissed me like I could never have imagined being kissed. I had some kind of erotic dream that when I awakened, I couldn’t consciously recall all the details but bodily I knew it had affected me like nothing else ever had. It was a little embarrassing but actually no one else knew about it. Had these alluring creatures invaded my subconscious? Was I just a horny jerk? It was a bit disquieting, but one thing became crystal clear to me beyond questioning: I had to become one of them. They called to me deep in my being and I had to answer. I sat up, took a deep breath and put my head in my hands. I had to speak to one of them again. I realized that I had to venture to the other side of the river and I had to keep it a secret from everyone I knew.
*~*~*~*
I kept going to the river, hoping to see the beautiful angels that I now knew were Wraeththu. I needed to talk further with them. I knew I wanted to be one of them but I also had a lot of questions to ask about what that would mean to their community and ours. The people in our community didn’t seem to be the most open-minded humans and Wraeththu were the reason we’d hidden ourselves here. The last thing I wanted was to bring any trouble to the beautiful beings I loved so much. How could this ever work?
*~*~*~*
I waited several days, mulling it all over and not getting much sleep. Beck knew a little about what was on my mind and knew I was troubled, but didn’t press the issue. Even my parents gave me a few concerned looks. Finally, I decided I had to go speak with Andren.
The next day when Beck asked if I wanted to go with her to Josh and Liz’s, I said I had to be alone to think. She seemed a little worried, but went off without me. I headed straight for the river. I waited for quite some time hoping for the Wraeththu to appear. When they finally did, I started for the shallow part of the river so I could cross. I had to backtrack quite a way to get there. I took off my sneakers, waded across and headed down the riverside toward the rocks.
I can’t believe I’m doing this! I thought to myself. I’m really on their side of the river!
I began to get very nervous and apprehensive as I drew nearer to where they’d be. I didn’t even know what I was going to say to them. Maybe I wouldn’t have to say anything. I was sure they could read minds.
Soon I heard voices - talking punctuated by the occasional sound of lilting laughter - as I approached. I got close enough to see them and stopped, too afraid to walk on. There was Andren, sitting, talking to two others and drinking. Suddenly he stopped talking and looked in my direction. He said something to his companions and started to walk toward where I was standing. He must have sensed my presence. I supposed could he sense my trepidation as well. He approached giving me a warm smile.
“Well, hello my lovely young ginger. I was wondering when you’d come.”
I stared, at a loss for words. Andren came close and took my hand in his, leading us over to a soft grassy area to sit. We sat down next to each other.
“Please don’t be afraid. I’m glad you’ve come. You have some questions for me, right?”
I nodded, looking at the ground. I knew if I looked at Andren, I’d be unable to speak.
“I need to know some things…”
“Of course.”
I hesitated and Andren tipped my face up with his fingers, to look at him. His touch made me tremble.
“Are you old enough to drink some wine? It might help you to relax.”
His question surprised me. I hadn’t even noticed the bottle in his hand. He offered it to me.
I nodded mutely and took a drink. It was sweet and it warmed me inside. After a few more mouthfuls, I started to feel mellow.
“That’s better,” he said, with a lovely comforting smile. I passed the bottle back to him. He took a swig, set it down between us, and got the conversation started again.
“You want to become one of us, don’t you?” he asked gently.
“Yes - more than anything. It’s all I can think about, but--”
“You’re worried about how it will affect your family.”
“Yes, but there’s so much more…” I didn’t know where to begin.
“Here.” He handed me the bottle again. I chuckled and took another drink. It really made me feel better.
“Ever…” I began, haltingly, “ever since I first saw all of you, I felt something inside me. At first I called it a ‘crush.’” I smiled, embarrassed. “But then I thought you were angels. Since I found out you were Wraeththu and that I could be one of you, I’ve felt unsettled. Part of me feels so drawn to be - what did you call it? Har?”
He nodded.
“The feeling is so strong, it haunts my every thought. But I’m afraid it’s not possible for me.”
“Why wouldn’t it be? Because of your family?”
“Yes, that’s certainly part of it but…” I looked into his blue-green eyes. “But how can I? The people in our commune, they--” I couldn’t stop myself. Tears rolled down my cheeks. “I couldn’t bear it if they tried to hurt you and it would all be because of my selfish wish to be har.” I broke down a bit more. Andren moved over and hugged me. I clung to him burying my face in his chest as tears streamed down my face.
“Really, there’s a way to work this out. It’ll be alright, I promise.”
I regained control of myself and suddenly realized whose chest I was blubbering into and became self-conscious. I loosed my hold on him and wiped my eyes with my shirtsleeve.
“Listen, we’ve been discussing making ourselves known to your people for quite a while now. Maybe this is a sign that it’s time.”
I shook my head vehemently. “No! No, they’d never understand. They’re religious and close-minded. They have guns for hunting. I could never forgive myself if--”
He chuckled softly. “We know all that. We know all about them. Remember we have distinct advantages over humans.”
“Are you immortal?”
“No, but it would be nearly impossible for them to take us by surprise. We were here a few years before they were and at that time we felt we needed to protect ourselves from others of our own kind who were hostile, so every night we took turns guarding our community.”
“So you have guns, too?”
“No. We hunt with bows. But we guard ourselves with our minds.”
I blinked, at somewhat of a loss.
“A har can search with his mind and sort of patrol a very large area mentally looking for others. We can sense humans and hara from a fairly great distance and prepare ourselves if necessary. My point is you don’t have to worry about us. We can protect ourselves. And we’d never want to hurt any of your people.”
“I just can’t imagine them accepting and trusting you.”
“Well, I’m sure it wouldn’t happen in a day, but a lot of us think it would be worth it to work on living in harmony with your community. Not all of us agree, of course, but maybe your wanting to join us would help them reconsider.”
I was not convinced.
“There’s certainly no rush for any of this.”
I nodded my agreement, feeling much better about things.
Andren stood up and offered me his hand to pull me up.
“Come on. I’d like you to meet some of my friends. Feel up to it?”
“Sure, I’d like that.”
I followed him a short distance to where the rest of the hara were enjoying eating, drinking and swimming. As we approached, the hara that looked our way stopped what they were doing and watched us. I felt so disconcerted that I thought of running away. However, most of them gave us a friendly smile. I assumed Andren had told them all about me and my consideration of becoming one of them. Several hara, including the two Andren had been talking with when I approached stood and came toward us. Andren put a reinforcing arm around my shoulder. The two hara stopped in front of us as many others looked on behind them. Andren looked to me, giving my shoulder an encouraging squeeze.
“This is Tom, the human I told you about. Tom, this is Cirrus and Brinn.” He indicated a slender light-haired har and then a slightly more muscled very dark-haired har, who both nodded to me. He then moved to the dark-haired Brinn and kissed him. I wasn’t sure what was going on. Brinn gave me a welcoming smile.
“Brinn and I are chesna. That means we love each other and have chosen to be together indefinitely. Cirrus is our closest friend.”
He gave me a smile, too. I was a bit overwhelmed and not sure what to think.
“Let’s sit down,” Andren suggested.
The three of us sat on the rocks, a bit away from the rest of them.
I looked over at the others and a har with long auburn hair smiled and winked at me. He stood up, naked, and strolled slowly down to the river to swim, knowing I couldn’t take my eyes off him. They were so unashamed, so at ease with themselves. They were proud of their great beauty without seeming arrogant or vain. Andren’s voice brought me out of my stupor.
“That’s Asher. He’s a little…well, he likes to show off.”
“No wonder,” I said, still staring. The other two chuckled. Cirrus touched my arm.
“We hear you’re considering becoming har.”
I nodded. “Yes, I’d like to - very much - but--” I looked away.
“Yes,” Cirrus said. “It’s not always simple.”
“Tom is close to his family,” Andren explained. “Sometimes that makes it more difficult.”
“I had a good family, too,” Cirrus said. “In our situation, my parents encouraged me to become har because it was the only way to ensure my future.” He hesitated. “It was the hardest decision I ever made,” he said quietly.
“My situation was completely different,” Andren interjected. “My family had broken up, my mother died and I was left with an uncaring stepfather. I couldn’t wait to get out of that situation and become Wraeththu.” Andren looked to his chesnari, Brinn.
“I became har at fifteen,” he said. “I ran the streets, stole, fought, did things I’m not proud of.” He looked to Andren and then continued. “Finally, one day I realized I hated who I’d become and searched for something better.” He smiled at his chesnari. “Luckily, I found it.”
“We each have our own story and our own reasons for answering the call to be Wraeththu,” Andren said. “But we all heard the call. We all knew that to be har was our destiny. You’re no different. I know you hear it, you feel it.” He smiled. “It’s really just a matter of time.”
I nodded, completely understanding and agreeing with what he told me; with what they’d all told me.
“I wish I could just run away and join you, but I can’t do that to my family. And then there’s the threat of the hostile people in my community. I just don’t see how…” I began to tear up again.
“Look,” Andren said. “You don’t have to decide today--”
“But I have decided,” I interrupted. They all stared at me.
“I know I want to join you. There’s no doubt in my mind about that. I just don’t know how it can be.”
Andren gave me a sympathetic smile. “If you’re sure, then we’ll find a way, I promise you. Come back tomorrow, if you can, and I’ll show you our community. Then you can find us whenever you want to.” He looked to his two companions who nodded their approval. “Come across like you did today sometime around noon and I’ll be waiting here at the rocks, okay?”
I nodded.
“If something happens that you can’t come, come the next day or the next. I’ll be waiting every day at that time until you can come.”
My eyes filled with tears. This time Cirrus put a comforting arm around me.
“It will work out, you’ll see.”
I looked into his sky-blue eyes and felt better.
As I made my way back to my side of the river, I thought about how torn I was. I loved my family and didn’t want to leave them or cause them any hurt, but I also knew that, ultimately, my destiny lay on the opposite side of the river. I was so conflicted. And how could I go home without Beck knowing something monumental happened to me? She’d know, I was sure of it. What would I tell her? Even she couldn’t be privy to what I was planning. I wished I was stronger.
*~*~*~*
I headed back to the ford in the river, my head full of conflicting thoughts. The one thing I was sure of was that I was destined to be Wraeththu, but I couldn’t tell a soul. Not even my sister, the one person I felt closest to in this world.
I walked toward our house, feeling very alienated from my former self. For now, I had to keep up the appearance of being my usual self and hoped I was up to the challenge. As I entered our place, I smelled dinner cooking and went to the kitchen to find my Mom there. She turned to me.
“Hi, Tom. Dinner’s almost ready.”
“It smells good. Chicken?”
“Yes, baked with breadcrumbs.”
“Mmm.”
“Where’s your sister?”
“I don’t know. Probably with Josh.”
My Mom smiled. “He seems like a very nice boy.”
“He is. If she’s with him, you don’t have to worry.”
I heard the door close and Beck came into the kitchen. She went over and hugged our Mom.
“Did you and Josh have a nice time?” our Mom asked, with a wink to me.
“Yeah, his Mom was busy with some outside work so we watched his little sister, Annie. She’s really a sweet kid. She and Tom could be siblings. They’re both freckle faced redheads.”
Soon my Dad came home and we all had a nice dinner together. Afterwards, Beck and I went over to Josh’s house and Beck, Josh, Liz and I headed for his crop and the river.
Everything seemed to be normal and I was beginning to feel proud of myself for hiding my inner agenda. However, when the evening activities were over and Beck and I headed for home, Beck stopped, grabbing my arm and said, “Tom, we have to talk.”
I blinked at her, feigning innocence and asked, “What about?”
“About whatever the hell is going on with you.”
“What do you mean? Nothing’s going on.”
“Who do you think you’re talking to? It’s me, Beck, and I know something’s going on.”
Oh, God! What was I going to do? Was she already har? She certainly could practically read my mind. I decided to tell her some half-truths. Maybe that would satisfy her for now.
I sat on the ground and Beck followed suit.
“I told you one of them spoke to me.”
She nodded.
“You have to swear you won’t tell anyone, not even Josh.”
“I promise.”
I heaved a sigh. “Well, the…angels have been thinking about making themselves known to our community and trying to have a harmonious relationship with us.”
“No shit!”
“They don’t all agree so they’re not ready to do anything yet. I told them not to. I said the people here would never understand. I’m afraid of what they might do.”
“What did he say to that?”
“Just that they were considering it and that our people couldn’t really hurt them.”
My sister seemed to be pondering. “So you’re kind of the go-between?’
I shrugged. “I don’t know what I am.”
“Who did you speak to and how did you meet with him?”
“He said his name was Andren and he came over to our side of the river to fish. He knew I was hiding and asked me to come out and told me I had nothing to be scared of.”
“What was it like seeing one of them up close?”
“Mind numbing, surreal. Andren was so beautiful it kind of scared me. He was tall and thin with longish blond hair and blue-green eyes. He was really friendly and I could tell I had nothing to fear from any of them. He was almost unbelievable.”
She chuckled. “I bet! Did he say anything else?”
“Just small talk about fishing. Then he caught a big trout and swam back across the river.”
“Wow. Imagine it,” Beck said smiling and putting her arm around my shoulder. “My baby brother, a mediator between angels and humankind. This is big stuff!”
“Cut it out,” I said, chuckling.
We headed for home.
~*~*~*** to be continued ***~*~*~