yuck
Okay so last night candie and I went out. She came over and we decided to go up to sugar loaf to play guitar and be depressed, so we snuck out 2 blankets threw my window and left. I smoked a cig up there. We go there, dude it was sooo dark, I could barely tell where the cliff dropped off into notingness. We got up to the top, and it was so beautiful, not a fucking cloud in the sky. I layed out one of the blankets and sat down and she walked off to look at all the different cities you can see from up there. I walked up to look, and then we went and sat down on the blanket and she started rockin on the guitar. She soooo good. *if you're reading this, shutup candie, yes you are* I just lay there staring up at the sky feeling so small, the sky so enormous, so big, it was kind of overwhelming. I just lay there listening to her play and thought about what would happen if I just got up and just kept walking until I fell off and kept falling like alice in alice and wonderland, and I noticed tears started to roll out of the corners of my eyes, it felt so good. It was FREEZING so after a while we decided to pack everything up and go back to my house. We got there and we watched American Idol, and ate rice, followed by the OC and pizza. I got really sick, tammy asked us if we wanted to go to the coffee bean out in hollywood, and candie didn't want to drive that far, and i'm glad because i would've just gotten even sicker. We were on my bed watchin t.v. and candie said she was depressed, (and i was sick), so I suggested that we go and watch Holes the movie she rented and brought over. I grabbed my comforter from my bed and a blanket and we sat and watched it. I was getting more and more sick, but started to get absorbed in the movie, sorta, and i ran and got the trashcan because i knew i was going to barf. I got worse and worse till i ran into the bathroom and barfed in the trashcan, while candie was on the phone(sorry candie). She was so awesome though, she asked me if i was ok and if she wanted me to have her come in with me, but i was peeing, so I got up and she said what color is it, i showed her, and in her awesome reassuring little way she said "oh that's a normal color". I wanted to laugh but couldn't muster up the energy and i told she prolly should go home, she did, and i barfed like 2 more times. I got my mom before i did to sit with me, and EWWWW i think i kind of interupted my parents fooling around. I still can't get the image un-burned from my retinas. THEY FREAKIN HAD THE DOOR OPEN!! so anyway i can still tast the barf even though i brused my teeth like 2x each time i did it. I feel like doing it again. I got like no sleep and I am gettin frustrated becasue i cant fall back asleep. Oh, and Ian called me last night at some point, and left me a message. I gave him my adress to this thing, and he left a message(got it this morning) about how he wants to be there for me etc. but then he said something that really hurt and pissed me off. He said but it's not like I want to get back together, HE DOESN'T WANT TO GET BACK TOGETHER?? I'M THE ONE THAT BROKE UP WITH HIM!!!! That just really hurt, it was like throwing the fact that he doesn't like me like that anymore in my face. Why couldn't he have just left the message at the sweet and nice message it was before he said that. Then he e-mailed me and said it AGAIN!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! that really pissed me off, it's like who does he think he is, does he think like he's the shit and that i'm going to want to get back with him now, I CAN'T BELIEVE it. IAN, REMEMBER, UR THE ONE THAT TOLD ME U WHERE AN ALIEN, AND I WAS THE ONE THAT BROKE UP WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay i feel like i'm going to barf again and my back and throat hurt like shit from barfing acid.