Disappointments.
If there is one thing I utterly despise, it's feeling disappointed. I'd rather feel angry, depressed... whatever, but I hate feeling disappointed. I don't have a lot of hope or trust in things or people, and when one other thing or person disappoints me, it just makes life that much more unbearable. Now, I am not talking about the sort of disappointment you get when a friend cancels out on a friday night movie or forgets to call you. That sucks, but I can live with that. That happens. It's the bigger things - when a friend you admired proves to you that the friendship you had was actually really not anywhere close to what you believed it was, when the person you love loves someone thats not you, or when something you are proud of gets shut down, or when you realize that your hopes and dreams are so far that you have no idea how to reach them, or when a certain person or a certain event manages to make you feel worthless and ugly, or when a child who never knew happiness dies of starvation, or some idiot kills an innocent person - the very evil nature of humanity is a huge disappointment to me. Such things seem to happen all the time, and as time passes by, disappointments pile up so high I don't know what to do with them anymore. Right now I'm overwhelmed and I feel weak. It's all I can think about and I'm annoyed because its the first night my tooth is not killing me when I lie down, and of course, I cannot fall asleep. I think that's all I wanted to say.