Bleach Drabble (198-200)
I'm exhausted.
198.
Title: Shore Leave
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Character/s: ShuuxYumi
Word Count: 676
Warning/s: Spoilers for 195 (indirectly?)
Summary: Companion drabble to #176 (Left Behind)- A brief respite from separation, a heartwarming reunion.
Dedication: kalong_chan for the promise of fanart and for being a willing convert to this, my OTP. Thanks!
A/N: I’m going to hell for buying into this particular little fetish, but DUDE The image is absolutely amazing in my head so I justify it with the fact that for these two, it would be HOT goddammit. Hot. *thoughtful* Now I want pron. -_-;; DRAW IT FOR ME BECK-SENPAI!!! C’mon PLEEEEEEEEASE?
The day Yumichika was given leave to return to seireitei from his current assignment, he showed up at Shuuhei’s office in the middle of the day with a bundle in his arms and wearing clothing that had garnered several odd stares from the other death gods as he’d passed them on the way to the ninth division headquarters.
He knew he looked amazing.
The fact was only further confirmed when he stepped into an unsuspecting Shuuhei’s work quarters, leaning against the doorframe invitingly before clearing his throat in order to gain the attention of the room’s only other occupant.
When Shuuhei looked up, he promptly dropped his brush.
Yumi smiled at the flattering reaction. “I’m home.”
Shuuhei stared. “Yumi… you… you’re…”
The other death god nodded, “Yup, I am,” he agreed, gently smoothing his hands over the front of his white shirt. “As promised.”
Shuuhei gaped a little while longer.
Swallowed.
“There’s… really a bow,” he uttered stupidly, not caring that his brush was leaving a growing spot of ink on whatever paperwork he’d been engaged with moments ago.
Yumi looked at Shuuhei with a sort of sparkling, amused fondness, smirking a little wickedly as he fluffed the red decoration on his chest. “There is indeed a bow. And look…isn’t this the cutest skirt ever?” he asked with a faux innocence that made Shuuhei squirm in his chair, doing a little pirouette in place to show off his second favorite feature of the outfit.
Shuuhei watched in utter fascination, as the pleats of the school uniform swished invitingly around his lover’s knees.
“Skirt…” he murmured dumbly.
Yumi, chuckling to himself at the vice-captain’s glazed-over expression, adjusted his knee socks before taking the bundle he’d been carrying and tossing it at the other man. “I brought you one too.”
Shuuhei’s brow furrowed at his lover’s words. “A skirt?”
Yumi rolled his eyes. “Of course not.” He smirked and gestured to the gift. “Open it.”
Given his current inability to think or really do anything at all of his own volition with Yumi dressed like that, Shuuhei automatically began to open the bundle.
And pulled out what appeared to be… a tie? A…jacket?
…Glasses?
He looked back up at his lover questioningly. “Yumi? What are…”
Yumi simply grinned and hopped up onto the corner of Shuuhei’s desk spryly, crossing his legs at the knee and smoothing his skirt down over his hips.
Shuuhei immediately forgot what his question was.
“Well? Put them on,” Yumichika instructed, winking invitingly. “Promise it’ll be fun.”
Shuuhei did as he was told, thinking that maybe he was beginning to develop an unhealthy fascination with those knee socks as he did.
Once the vice-captain was dressed, Yumichika leaned back so he was more comfortably lounging on the desk, innocently admiring the commemorations decorating the walls of Hisagi’s office.
Shuuhei, feeling awkward in the glasses, looked purposefully away from the display. “Er…what’re we, exactly gonna…”
“Ne…sensei… I forgot your last lesson,” Yumi began sweetly, looking down at the desk and tucking his hair behind his ear, “can you go over it again with me right now?”
Shuuhei blinked. “Mur?”
Lesson?
Sensei?
“Yumi…what…”
“Please, sensei?” Yumi pressed, pretending not to hear. Sighing cutely, he uncrossed his legs and leaned further back. “I promise to behave,” he added, looking up through his lashes at the vice-captain with a little smile.
“You promise to… Oh.”
Oh.
Now he got it.
Shuuhei grinned and adjusted his glasses at the realization, standing up from his chair rather enthusiastically at the prospect of getting under that pleated wonder of a skirt. “Um. Yes. So uh, what part um, didn’t you understand, miss-student-san?”
Yumi, laughing sweetly at the other man’s eagerness, grabbed the vice-captain’s tie and wrapped it around his hand, yanking Shuuhei forward with a happy sigh. “Everything, sensei. I missed it all.”
And as Shuuhei showed him all of that everything he’d forgotten in the last few weeks while he’d been at school, Yumi thought that this was really the only class he ever wanted to come to.
Double-entendre intended.
END
199.
Title: Beck and Call
Rating: PG
Pairing/Character/s: KyourakuxUkitake
Word Count: 982 (close one, huh? O.o)
Warning/s: No spoilers, but some WAFFY OOCness.
Summary: Ukitake occasionally likes to be lavished with attention.
Dedication: Jen- she suggested I close off the 200 with these two somewhere in the last few, so dude, yes.
A/N: Seriously, I just wanted FLUFF. And so here we are. Again.
Ukitake likes to think that he is magnanimous enough to not take advantage of Kyouraku’s good nature and unassuming personality, but even so, there are some times when he thinks it’s not so bad to let oneself be pampered given that there’s someone out there willing to do the pampering.
So once in a while, Ukitake finds himself giving in to his compulsions and curling up against Shunsui on his most tiring days, hoping that he will be utterly spoiled, that his lover will pet and kiss and touch him very sweetly and gently, lavishing shameful amounts of attention on the white-haired captain as if the other man had nothing else to do in the world.
It’s horrible of him, and he always feels rather bad for taking such advantage of Kyouraku’s easy-going personality afterwards, but sometimes, perhaps after a hard day or recent illness, he just needs to be spoiled.
This is one of those days, and he finds himself at the eighth division headquarters in the middle of the afternoon, cutting out on his own work early because he is exhausted and needs a reminder as to why this job is still rewarding, despite all the stress it causes.
He slips into Shunsui’s office and very quietly, looks around in search of the other captain.
Shunsui is there at his desk, literally up to his nose in paperwork with Nanao nagging him about his lack of responsibility and how it has led to this mountain of in-files and infantile trickle of out-files.
He laughs at her and tells her that little trickles are responsible for carving mountains into canyons, given enough time.
She tells him she will kill him before she allows a millennium to pass as he slowly cuts through his mountain of work at the rate he’s going.
Ukitake frowns and thinks that maybe he should come back later, given that it looks like one of those rare days when Shunsui is actually working. It would be a horrible thing for him to throw Shunsui off his rhythm now, given how hard it is to get him on it in the first place when it comes to paperwork.
That decided, he turns to slip out of the room before either of the other two shinigami notice him, only to come face-to-face with a smiling Kyouraku, who, leaning in the doorway of his own office, asks, “Ne, Jyuu-chan, were you just gonna leave without a word? Ahhh, that breaks my heart.”
Ukitake blinks and Nanao blinks and follows her blinking up with a screech at her captain about not going anywhere, “don’t you dare.”
“Nanao-chan, I have an appointment with Ukitake-taichou. Totally slipped my mind. Can you go outside and put all my other duties on hold while I take care of this?”
“It’s okay; I can come back later if you’re busy…” Ukitake starts, with an apologetic look at Ise for having caused Shunsui to vacate his chair.
“I’m never too busy to meet with you,” Kyouraku assures him, taking his hand and leading him back into the office. “You know that, Jyuu-chan.”
“It’s nothing important, I promise,” Ukitake protests again, though he doesn’t fight as Shunsui leads him to the other chair in the room.
“But taichou… we need to…”
Shunsui turns and gives his vice-captain a gentle look, and stopping mid-sentence, she sighs resignedly. “Very well. Please inform me when you are ready to resume, taichou.”
He winks at her. “You bet.”
And strangely enough, she doesn’t fight him any more, but bows to Ukitake as she leaves the room without another word.
“I mean it, Shunsui, I can come back…” Ukitake begins again, moving to stand.
“Ah, nonsense,” Kyouraku murmurs, putting his hands on Jyuushirou’s cheeks and leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on the other man’s forehead. “You are my most important business, always.”
Ukitake likes to think that he doesn’t take advantage of Kyouraku’s good nature very often, but he knows he does nonetheless, because it’s hard sometimes, when he’s so tired or just getting over being sick, and what he needs is to be pampered a bit at those times, to be spoiled and know that there’s someone out there willing to drop everything without a thought and catch him should he need it.
He doesn’t like himself very much when he makes Shunsui do this, but the other man is so willing that it’s hard to pass up once you’ve felt how reliable, how solid and unyielding Kyouraku’s affection is, and Ukitake finds himself wanting to just fall into it on the hardest of his days, to let himself be wrapped up by the person who considers him the most precious thing in the world.
Later, when he hates himself a little bit as he’s curled up in Shunsui’s arms with his head pillowed against the other captain’s shoulder, Ukitake can’t help but ask Kyouraku why the other captain is willing to just drop everything at an instant on Ukitake’s behalf.
“Ah Jyuu-chan,” Shunsui breathes at the question, stroking Ukitake’s hair gently, “don’t you see? You’re very wrong,” he chastises with a warm chuckle. “It’s entirely selfish on my part.”
Ukitake frowns at him. “Shunsui, don’t be silly…”
Kyouraku cuts him off with a kiss, sweet and almost chaste in its familiarity, and when they break apart, he murmurs, “Being needed is one of the most wonderful things in the world, Jyuu-chan.”
Ukitake is skeptical. “Really?”
“Of course.” Pause. “Though… to be honest, having as good-looking a person as Jyuu-chan needing me helps.”
When Ukitake sighs resignedly at that ill-timed comment, Kyouraku, laughing, buries his nose into Jyuushirou’s hair as the other man attempts to squirm out of his hold, thinking to himself that while being needed by this man is one sort of wonderful thing, loving him is an even more wonderful other.
Unquestionably something worth dropping everything for.
END
200.
Title: Delinquent Behavior
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Character/s: Gotei-13 Captains
Word Count: 617
Warning/s: No real warnings.
Summary: The captains are bored during a meeting.
Dedication: Vinnie- for helping me fix the spacing in this. OMG LEIK THX SO MUCH.
A/N: There’s just something about delinquent behavior from the shinigami that tickles my fancy. Plus I’m BORED in class too. ^^;; Er, and while I’m at it, I guess I should say…here we are, again. Another hundred down. Weird, huh? O.o
Captains’ assemblies in seireitei tend to be, more often than not, mind-numbingly boring. As such, the leaders of Soul Society’s thirteen teams have, throughout history, devised ways in which to keep themselves and each other entertained during the worst of these meetings in order to preserve their sanity when faced with one of Yamamoto’s more redundant protocol speeches.
This is one of those ways.
Kurotsuchi Mayuri blinks when he feels a piece of paper bounce off of his head, and turning sideways to glare at an innocent looking Kenpachi, he grabs it and unwraps it.
And so it begins.
Hey,
You smell.
-Zaraki
Zaraki,
I do not. YOU smell.
-Mayuri
Hey Drunk-guy,
Don’t you think Mayuri smells?
-Zaraki
Dear Zaraki and Mayuri,
You both smell a little.
-Kyouraku
Drunk-guy,
Shut it, old man.
-Zaraki
Ne… Jyuu-chan (<3 <3 <3 <3),
Am I an old man? ;_;
-Your Shun-chan (<3 <3 <3)
Shunsui,
Please don’t fraternize with those two delinquents in front of everyone like that.
…it’s embarrassing for someone your age.
-Jyuushirou (<3)
Ukitake,
I didn’t know you took part in such illicit activities during meetings. It’s a little bit cute of you, don’t you think? ^_^
-Sousuke
Aizen-taichou,
Ne, ne, what’re you talking about? I wanna play too!! <3
-Gin
Aizen,
I was merely telling Shunsui to stop misbehaving. ^_^;;
-Ukitake
Gin,
We’ll play later. Was that a doodle of us fucking on your last note?
-Aizen
Aizen-taichou,
Kira was in it too… didn’t you see?
-Gin
All idiots involved,
Please cease this uncouth behavior immediately. You are making a mockery of this entire institution.
-Kuchiki Byakuya
Rich Boy,
You smell the most.
-Zaraki
To whom it may concern,
…I do not.
-Kuchiki Byakuya
Rich Boy,
Do too.
-Zaraki
Everyone who’s making so much noise,
Someone please tell me what’s going on. I can’t see.
-Tousen Kaname
Kana-chan (<3 <3 <3),
I’m drawing porn! XD
-Gin
Gin,
Komamura expresses his distaste after having to read me your missive. Please don’t write me notes about pornography when you know I have to have someone read them to me.
-Tousen
Kana-chin,
I’m sorry! Look, this time I drew porn of you and Komamura instead! Here you go!
-Gin
Ichimaru,
Lewd pictures of me and Tousen are dishonorable and I will not stand for it. Apologize immediately or face my wrath.
-Komamura
You three,
No need to fight now. We’re all here to play nice, aren’t we? ^_^
-Aizen
Useless idiots,
This foolishness is an abomination of the shinigami uniform. I should kill you all where you stand.
-Soi Fong
Shortie,
I was wrong about Rich Boy. YOU smell the most.
-Zaraki
Insolent fool,
I’ll rip your insides out and string them up like so many festival decorations all around your division headquarters such that your useless minions can wander around aimlessly in a rain of your own blood.
And I do not.
-Soi Fong
Shortie,
Man, you really smell a lot. I can’t even breathe over here it stinks so bad.
-Zaraki
Zaraki-san,
No one smells here. It goes against proper hygienic protocol as overseen by the fourth division. However, I do suggest that you take a bath sometime soon to stay within the aforementioned parameters. Thank you. ^_^
-Unohana Retsu
Grandma,
…you suck.
-Zaraki
Dear former pillars of honor and integrity who are supposed to represent the entire court of seireitei and all the shinigami within it,
Stop passing notes immediately and return your attention to my presentation. Thank you.
-Yamamoto Genryuusai
Everyone blinks and looks up from their activities sheepishly, Yamamoto staring at them from the front of the room with his arms crossed, one snowy brow arched expectantly. “May I continue, then?”
“Ah, yes sir!”
END
As always, Edits needed like WOAH.
198.
Title: Shore Leave
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Character/s: ShuuxYumi
Word Count: 676
Warning/s: Spoilers for 195 (indirectly?)
Summary: Companion drabble to #176 (Left Behind)- A brief respite from separation, a heartwarming reunion.
Dedication: kalong_chan for the promise of fanart and for being a willing convert to this, my OTP. Thanks!
A/N: I’m going to hell for buying into this particular little fetish, but DUDE The image is absolutely amazing in my head so I justify it with the fact that for these two, it would be HOT goddammit. Hot. *thoughtful* Now I want pron. -_-;; DRAW IT FOR ME BECK-SENPAI!!! C’mon PLEEEEEEEEASE?
The day Yumichika was given leave to return to seireitei from his current assignment, he showed up at Shuuhei’s office in the middle of the day with a bundle in his arms and wearing clothing that had garnered several odd stares from the other death gods as he’d passed them on the way to the ninth division headquarters.
He knew he looked amazing.
The fact was only further confirmed when he stepped into an unsuspecting Shuuhei’s work quarters, leaning against the doorframe invitingly before clearing his throat in order to gain the attention of the room’s only other occupant.
When Shuuhei looked up, he promptly dropped his brush.
Yumi smiled at the flattering reaction. “I’m home.”
Shuuhei stared. “Yumi… you… you’re…”
The other death god nodded, “Yup, I am,” he agreed, gently smoothing his hands over the front of his white shirt. “As promised.”
Shuuhei gaped a little while longer.
Swallowed.
“There’s… really a bow,” he uttered stupidly, not caring that his brush was leaving a growing spot of ink on whatever paperwork he’d been engaged with moments ago.
Yumi looked at Shuuhei with a sort of sparkling, amused fondness, smirking a little wickedly as he fluffed the red decoration on his chest. “There is indeed a bow. And look…isn’t this the cutest skirt ever?” he asked with a faux innocence that made Shuuhei squirm in his chair, doing a little pirouette in place to show off his second favorite feature of the outfit.
Shuuhei watched in utter fascination, as the pleats of the school uniform swished invitingly around his lover’s knees.
“Skirt…” he murmured dumbly.
Yumi, chuckling to himself at the vice-captain’s glazed-over expression, adjusted his knee socks before taking the bundle he’d been carrying and tossing it at the other man. “I brought you one too.”
Shuuhei’s brow furrowed at his lover’s words. “A skirt?”
Yumi rolled his eyes. “Of course not.” He smirked and gestured to the gift. “Open it.”
Given his current inability to think or really do anything at all of his own volition with Yumi dressed like that, Shuuhei automatically began to open the bundle.
And pulled out what appeared to be… a tie? A…jacket?
…Glasses?
He looked back up at his lover questioningly. “Yumi? What are…”
Yumi simply grinned and hopped up onto the corner of Shuuhei’s desk spryly, crossing his legs at the knee and smoothing his skirt down over his hips.
Shuuhei immediately forgot what his question was.
“Well? Put them on,” Yumichika instructed, winking invitingly. “Promise it’ll be fun.”
Shuuhei did as he was told, thinking that maybe he was beginning to develop an unhealthy fascination with those knee socks as he did.
Once the vice-captain was dressed, Yumichika leaned back so he was more comfortably lounging on the desk, innocently admiring the commemorations decorating the walls of Hisagi’s office.
Shuuhei, feeling awkward in the glasses, looked purposefully away from the display. “Er…what’re we, exactly gonna…”
“Ne…sensei… I forgot your last lesson,” Yumi began sweetly, looking down at the desk and tucking his hair behind his ear, “can you go over it again with me right now?”
Shuuhei blinked. “Mur?”
Lesson?
Sensei?
“Yumi…what…”
“Please, sensei?” Yumi pressed, pretending not to hear. Sighing cutely, he uncrossed his legs and leaned further back. “I promise to behave,” he added, looking up through his lashes at the vice-captain with a little smile.
“You promise to… Oh.”
Oh.
Now he got it.
Shuuhei grinned and adjusted his glasses at the realization, standing up from his chair rather enthusiastically at the prospect of getting under that pleated wonder of a skirt. “Um. Yes. So uh, what part um, didn’t you understand, miss-student-san?”
Yumi, laughing sweetly at the other man’s eagerness, grabbed the vice-captain’s tie and wrapped it around his hand, yanking Shuuhei forward with a happy sigh. “Everything, sensei. I missed it all.”
And as Shuuhei showed him all of that everything he’d forgotten in the last few weeks while he’d been at school, Yumi thought that this was really the only class he ever wanted to come to.
Double-entendre intended.
END
199.
Title: Beck and Call
Rating: PG
Pairing/Character/s: KyourakuxUkitake
Word Count: 982 (close one, huh? O.o)
Warning/s: No spoilers, but some WAFFY OOCness.
Summary: Ukitake occasionally likes to be lavished with attention.
Dedication: Jen- she suggested I close off the 200 with these two somewhere in the last few, so dude, yes.
A/N: Seriously, I just wanted FLUFF. And so here we are. Again.
Ukitake likes to think that he is magnanimous enough to not take advantage of Kyouraku’s good nature and unassuming personality, but even so, there are some times when he thinks it’s not so bad to let oneself be pampered given that there’s someone out there willing to do the pampering.
So once in a while, Ukitake finds himself giving in to his compulsions and curling up against Shunsui on his most tiring days, hoping that he will be utterly spoiled, that his lover will pet and kiss and touch him very sweetly and gently, lavishing shameful amounts of attention on the white-haired captain as if the other man had nothing else to do in the world.
It’s horrible of him, and he always feels rather bad for taking such advantage of Kyouraku’s easy-going personality afterwards, but sometimes, perhaps after a hard day or recent illness, he just needs to be spoiled.
This is one of those days, and he finds himself at the eighth division headquarters in the middle of the afternoon, cutting out on his own work early because he is exhausted and needs a reminder as to why this job is still rewarding, despite all the stress it causes.
He slips into Shunsui’s office and very quietly, looks around in search of the other captain.
Shunsui is there at his desk, literally up to his nose in paperwork with Nanao nagging him about his lack of responsibility and how it has led to this mountain of in-files and infantile trickle of out-files.
He laughs at her and tells her that little trickles are responsible for carving mountains into canyons, given enough time.
She tells him she will kill him before she allows a millennium to pass as he slowly cuts through his mountain of work at the rate he’s going.
Ukitake frowns and thinks that maybe he should come back later, given that it looks like one of those rare days when Shunsui is actually working. It would be a horrible thing for him to throw Shunsui off his rhythm now, given how hard it is to get him on it in the first place when it comes to paperwork.
That decided, he turns to slip out of the room before either of the other two shinigami notice him, only to come face-to-face with a smiling Kyouraku, who, leaning in the doorway of his own office, asks, “Ne, Jyuu-chan, were you just gonna leave without a word? Ahhh, that breaks my heart.”
Ukitake blinks and Nanao blinks and follows her blinking up with a screech at her captain about not going anywhere, “don’t you dare.”
“Nanao-chan, I have an appointment with Ukitake-taichou. Totally slipped my mind. Can you go outside and put all my other duties on hold while I take care of this?”
“It’s okay; I can come back later if you’re busy…” Ukitake starts, with an apologetic look at Ise for having caused Shunsui to vacate his chair.
“I’m never too busy to meet with you,” Kyouraku assures him, taking his hand and leading him back into the office. “You know that, Jyuu-chan.”
“It’s nothing important, I promise,” Ukitake protests again, though he doesn’t fight as Shunsui leads him to the other chair in the room.
“But taichou… we need to…”
Shunsui turns and gives his vice-captain a gentle look, and stopping mid-sentence, she sighs resignedly. “Very well. Please inform me when you are ready to resume, taichou.”
He winks at her. “You bet.”
And strangely enough, she doesn’t fight him any more, but bows to Ukitake as she leaves the room without another word.
“I mean it, Shunsui, I can come back…” Ukitake begins again, moving to stand.
“Ah, nonsense,” Kyouraku murmurs, putting his hands on Jyuushirou’s cheeks and leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on the other man’s forehead. “You are my most important business, always.”
Ukitake likes to think that he doesn’t take advantage of Kyouraku’s good nature very often, but he knows he does nonetheless, because it’s hard sometimes, when he’s so tired or just getting over being sick, and what he needs is to be pampered a bit at those times, to be spoiled and know that there’s someone out there willing to drop everything without a thought and catch him should he need it.
He doesn’t like himself very much when he makes Shunsui do this, but the other man is so willing that it’s hard to pass up once you’ve felt how reliable, how solid and unyielding Kyouraku’s affection is, and Ukitake finds himself wanting to just fall into it on the hardest of his days, to let himself be wrapped up by the person who considers him the most precious thing in the world.
Later, when he hates himself a little bit as he’s curled up in Shunsui’s arms with his head pillowed against the other captain’s shoulder, Ukitake can’t help but ask Kyouraku why the other captain is willing to just drop everything at an instant on Ukitake’s behalf.
“Ah Jyuu-chan,” Shunsui breathes at the question, stroking Ukitake’s hair gently, “don’t you see? You’re very wrong,” he chastises with a warm chuckle. “It’s entirely selfish on my part.”
Ukitake frowns at him. “Shunsui, don’t be silly…”
Kyouraku cuts him off with a kiss, sweet and almost chaste in its familiarity, and when they break apart, he murmurs, “Being needed is one of the most wonderful things in the world, Jyuu-chan.”
Ukitake is skeptical. “Really?”
“Of course.” Pause. “Though… to be honest, having as good-looking a person as Jyuu-chan needing me helps.”
When Ukitake sighs resignedly at that ill-timed comment, Kyouraku, laughing, buries his nose into Jyuushirou’s hair as the other man attempts to squirm out of his hold, thinking to himself that while being needed by this man is one sort of wonderful thing, loving him is an even more wonderful other.
Unquestionably something worth dropping everything for.
END
200.
Title: Delinquent Behavior
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Character/s: Gotei-13 Captains
Word Count: 617
Warning/s: No real warnings.
Summary: The captains are bored during a meeting.
Dedication: Vinnie- for helping me fix the spacing in this. OMG LEIK THX SO MUCH.
A/N: There’s just something about delinquent behavior from the shinigami that tickles my fancy. Plus I’m BORED in class too. ^^;; Er, and while I’m at it, I guess I should say…here we are, again. Another hundred down. Weird, huh? O.o
Captains’ assemblies in seireitei tend to be, more often than not, mind-numbingly boring. As such, the leaders of Soul Society’s thirteen teams have, throughout history, devised ways in which to keep themselves and each other entertained during the worst of these meetings in order to preserve their sanity when faced with one of Yamamoto’s more redundant protocol speeches.
This is one of those ways.
Kurotsuchi Mayuri blinks when he feels a piece of paper bounce off of his head, and turning sideways to glare at an innocent looking Kenpachi, he grabs it and unwraps it.
And so it begins.
Hey,
You smell.
-Zaraki
Zaraki,
I do not. YOU smell.
-Mayuri
Hey Drunk-guy,
Don’t you think Mayuri smells?
-Zaraki
Dear Zaraki and Mayuri,
You both smell a little.
-Kyouraku
Drunk-guy,
Shut it, old man.
-Zaraki
Ne… Jyuu-chan (<3 <3 <3 <3),
Am I an old man? ;_;
-Your Shun-chan (<3 <3 <3)
Shunsui,
Please don’t fraternize with those two delinquents in front of everyone like that.
…it’s embarrassing for someone your age.
-Jyuushirou (<3)
Ukitake,
I didn’t know you took part in such illicit activities during meetings. It’s a little bit cute of you, don’t you think? ^_^
-Sousuke
Aizen-taichou,
Ne, ne, what’re you talking about? I wanna play too!! <3
-Gin
Aizen,
I was merely telling Shunsui to stop misbehaving. ^_^;;
-Ukitake
Gin,
We’ll play later. Was that a doodle of us fucking on your last note?
-Aizen
Aizen-taichou,
Kira was in it too… didn’t you see?
-Gin
All idiots involved,
Please cease this uncouth behavior immediately. You are making a mockery of this entire institution.
-Kuchiki Byakuya
Rich Boy,
You smell the most.
-Zaraki
To whom it may concern,
…I do not.
-Kuchiki Byakuya
Rich Boy,
Do too.
-Zaraki
Everyone who’s making so much noise,
Someone please tell me what’s going on. I can’t see.
-Tousen Kaname
Kana-chan (<3 <3 <3),
I’m drawing porn! XD
-Gin
Gin,
Komamura expresses his distaste after having to read me your missive. Please don’t write me notes about pornography when you know I have to have someone read them to me.
-Tousen
Kana-chin,
I’m sorry! Look, this time I drew porn of you and Komamura instead! Here you go!
-Gin
Ichimaru,
Lewd pictures of me and Tousen are dishonorable and I will not stand for it. Apologize immediately or face my wrath.
-Komamura
You three,
No need to fight now. We’re all here to play nice, aren’t we? ^_^
-Aizen
Useless idiots,
This foolishness is an abomination of the shinigami uniform. I should kill you all where you stand.
-Soi Fong
Shortie,
I was wrong about Rich Boy. YOU smell the most.
-Zaraki
Insolent fool,
I’ll rip your insides out and string them up like so many festival decorations all around your division headquarters such that your useless minions can wander around aimlessly in a rain of your own blood.
And I do not.
-Soi Fong
Shortie,
Man, you really smell a lot. I can’t even breathe over here it stinks so bad.
-Zaraki
Zaraki-san,
No one smells here. It goes against proper hygienic protocol as overseen by the fourth division. However, I do suggest that you take a bath sometime soon to stay within the aforementioned parameters. Thank you. ^_^
-Unohana Retsu
Grandma,
…you suck.
-Zaraki
Dear former pillars of honor and integrity who are supposed to represent the entire court of seireitei and all the shinigami within it,
Stop passing notes immediately and return your attention to my presentation. Thank you.
-Yamamoto Genryuusai
Everyone blinks and looks up from their activities sheepishly, Yamamoto staring at them from the front of the room with his arms crossed, one snowy brow arched expectantly. “May I continue, then?”
“Ah, yes sir!”
END
As always, Edits needed like WOAH.