Bleach Drabble (462)
Ha first request on the new list done. I CAN DO THIS.
462.
Title: For a Good Cause
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Character/s: Suggested ByakuyaxIchigo, mentioned RenjixByakuya, Rukia
Word Count: 940
Warning/s: CRACK. OOC CRACK.
Summary: Rukia engineers the perfect plan to pull the stick out of Byakuya’s ass.
Dedication: ignipotent- haha your prompt me with crack and I guess I don’t fail you, at least in that respect.
A/N: THIS MAKES NO SENSE. Ichigo screams a lot. The prompt was: “nakedness and kidnapping.”
He woke up feeling like his head had been stuffed full of cotton, would have reached up to rub it too if he hadn’t found himself oddly restrained.
Eyes snapping open, Ichigo pulled at his arms and legs and found them all strapped down to the bed he was on, securely enough to sting just a little bit when he yanked too hard.
Tied to a bed. He was tied to a bed.
He paused. Blinked.
A single sheet lay over his body, but other than he didn’t feel any…
He was tied to a bed. Naked. Naked and tied to a bed.
Part of him started to panic.
He wracked his brain trying to remember what could have possibly happened to land him in this situation, though the only thing in his memory was Rukia’s smile as they’d sat down to lunch together and the…
“RUKIA.”
He was going to kill her. Dead. He was going to kill her dead and she was already small, but he was going to make her small enough so that no one would even be able to see the itty bitty little pieces of her that were left when he was done with her. What the hell was she…
“Ichigo, you’re awake.” Her voice was sweet and nonchalant and fake, fake, fake. He snapped his head to the right and there she was, lounging in the chair at his bedside and it wasn’t his bed but…
“Where am I? What the hell is going on?”
She beamed. “I kidnapped you!” she told him matter-of-factly, and there was an unholy glow to her big, big eyes.
He gaped. “You what? Why?”
“Niisama needs to get laid,” she responded, and seemed unmoved by his near hysteria.
“WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ME?”
She grinned. “Well, I thought that if Niisama is going to get laid he might as well top. You’re the only one I could think of who was his type and who he could jump on top of like that.”
Ichigo was too horrified to properly blush at whatever crazy ass thing she was talking about. “I… ARGH.”
She twittered. “He hasn’t had sex in years,” she informed the orange-haired teen. “You’re doing him a great service.”
Ichigo stared at her and felt something like indignant rage come over him. “GET RENJI TO DO IT THEN.”
“Renji’s too tall for him to top,” Rukia told him, like that should be very, very obvious or something. “He’d only bottom with him.”
Ichigo’s head hurt. “Maybe he’d like that,” he offered, and clenched his teeth, tried to count backwards in prime numbers from one hundred before he lost it completely.
She rolled her eyes. “There’s nothing to be afraid of Ichigo, I’m sure Niisama is very gentle.”
“THAT’S NOT THE POINT.”
Pause.
Blink.
“HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET ME HERE ANYWAY?!”
She grinned and held up a little bottle. “Hanatarou lent me some of his sleeping draughts!” she said brightly, and jiggled the little canister in her hand rather menacingly. “You know, I think the fourth division is the most dangerous one in seireitei. It’s just that no one knows…”
“HEY OFF TOPIC.”
She frowned at him. “No it’s not; you’re the one that brought this up in the first place.”
He groaned. “Look,” he started, and pulled at his bonds a little bit more, “this is very funny, hahaha Rukia. Let me the hell go.”
“Niisama should be back soon,” she informed him, coolly. “I’ve taken care of everything.”
“HE DOESN’T LIKE ME. I’M TOTALLY NOT HIS TYPE.”
Her eyes glinted again, and he felt his blood go cold. “Like I said, I’ve taken care of everything!” she told him, and reached out to pat him on the shoulder comfortingly-the bitch. “If he doesn’t like you Renji’s tied up in the next room.”
Pause.
Blink.
“OH MY GOD.”
“I gagged Renji though,” she continued, and rested her chin in her palm as she watched Ichigo. The underlying threat was there, mixed in with all that smugness and self-satisfaction of a job well done. He was going to wipe that cocky grin off her face the moment he broke out of here. He was going to shake her. And choke her. A lot.
“Rukia I’m going to.... mmppph.”
She gagged him.
She gagged him. His mind screamed at him in rage and indignant disbelief and regular disbelief too.
He stared at her for a while, too stunned to move.
She winked. “Niisama will be very gentle, I’m sure.”
And happy, she thought. Because he hadn’t gotten laid in like, forever. Which clearly had to be the problem behind his attitude and that miserly nature of his.
She was fairly certain this was exactly what he’d need to improve his sour mood so she could get that raise in allowance she’d been wanting-it was taking forever to buy those tickets to the Chappyland Happy-Happy Bunny Show on the meager pittance he allowed her and she just couldn’t wait any longer, really.
Ichigo would understand afterwards-she’d even buy an extra ticket for him and they could watch the greatness together. He’d completely agree with her that it was worth it when he saw Mr. Chappy do the legendary Happy-Happy Bunny Show Dance. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind.
Meanwhile, next door, Renji began to slowly wake. He blinked, tugged at his bonds and worked his gag in his mouth a bit and looked down at his naked, sheet covered body.
Automatically, he thought all signs pointed to having had a really good night.
Ichigo’s mind continued to scream.
END
EDITS PLZ.
462.
Title: For a Good Cause
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Character/s: Suggested ByakuyaxIchigo, mentioned RenjixByakuya, Rukia
Word Count: 940
Warning/s: CRACK. OOC CRACK.
Summary: Rukia engineers the perfect plan to pull the stick out of Byakuya’s ass.
Dedication: ignipotent- haha your prompt me with crack and I guess I don’t fail you, at least in that respect.
A/N: THIS MAKES NO SENSE. Ichigo screams a lot. The prompt was: “nakedness and kidnapping.”
He woke up feeling like his head had been stuffed full of cotton, would have reached up to rub it too if he hadn’t found himself oddly restrained.
Eyes snapping open, Ichigo pulled at his arms and legs and found them all strapped down to the bed he was on, securely enough to sting just a little bit when he yanked too hard.
Tied to a bed. He was tied to a bed.
He paused. Blinked.
A single sheet lay over his body, but other than he didn’t feel any…
He was tied to a bed. Naked. Naked and tied to a bed.
Part of him started to panic.
He wracked his brain trying to remember what could have possibly happened to land him in this situation, though the only thing in his memory was Rukia’s smile as they’d sat down to lunch together and the…
“RUKIA.”
He was going to kill her. Dead. He was going to kill her dead and she was already small, but he was going to make her small enough so that no one would even be able to see the itty bitty little pieces of her that were left when he was done with her. What the hell was she…
“Ichigo, you’re awake.” Her voice was sweet and nonchalant and fake, fake, fake. He snapped his head to the right and there she was, lounging in the chair at his bedside and it wasn’t his bed but…
“Where am I? What the hell is going on?”
She beamed. “I kidnapped you!” she told him matter-of-factly, and there was an unholy glow to her big, big eyes.
He gaped. “You what? Why?”
“Niisama needs to get laid,” she responded, and seemed unmoved by his near hysteria.
“WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ME?”
She grinned. “Well, I thought that if Niisama is going to get laid he might as well top. You’re the only one I could think of who was his type and who he could jump on top of like that.”
Ichigo was too horrified to properly blush at whatever crazy ass thing she was talking about. “I… ARGH.”
She twittered. “He hasn’t had sex in years,” she informed the orange-haired teen. “You’re doing him a great service.”
Ichigo stared at her and felt something like indignant rage come over him. “GET RENJI TO DO IT THEN.”
“Renji’s too tall for him to top,” Rukia told him, like that should be very, very obvious or something. “He’d only bottom with him.”
Ichigo’s head hurt. “Maybe he’d like that,” he offered, and clenched his teeth, tried to count backwards in prime numbers from one hundred before he lost it completely.
She rolled her eyes. “There’s nothing to be afraid of Ichigo, I’m sure Niisama is very gentle.”
“THAT’S NOT THE POINT.”
Pause.
Blink.
“HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET ME HERE ANYWAY?!”
She grinned and held up a little bottle. “Hanatarou lent me some of his sleeping draughts!” she said brightly, and jiggled the little canister in her hand rather menacingly. “You know, I think the fourth division is the most dangerous one in seireitei. It’s just that no one knows…”
“HEY OFF TOPIC.”
She frowned at him. “No it’s not; you’re the one that brought this up in the first place.”
He groaned. “Look,” he started, and pulled at his bonds a little bit more, “this is very funny, hahaha Rukia. Let me the hell go.”
“Niisama should be back soon,” she informed him, coolly. “I’ve taken care of everything.”
“HE DOESN’T LIKE ME. I’M TOTALLY NOT HIS TYPE.”
Her eyes glinted again, and he felt his blood go cold. “Like I said, I’ve taken care of everything!” she told him, and reached out to pat him on the shoulder comfortingly-the bitch. “If he doesn’t like you Renji’s tied up in the next room.”
Pause.
Blink.
“OH MY GOD.”
“I gagged Renji though,” she continued, and rested her chin in her palm as she watched Ichigo. The underlying threat was there, mixed in with all that smugness and self-satisfaction of a job well done. He was going to wipe that cocky grin off her face the moment he broke out of here. He was going to shake her. And choke her. A lot.
“Rukia I’m going to.... mmppph.”
She gagged him.
She gagged him. His mind screamed at him in rage and indignant disbelief and regular disbelief too.
He stared at her for a while, too stunned to move.
She winked. “Niisama will be very gentle, I’m sure.”
And happy, she thought. Because he hadn’t gotten laid in like, forever. Which clearly had to be the problem behind his attitude and that miserly nature of his.
She was fairly certain this was exactly what he’d need to improve his sour mood so she could get that raise in allowance she’d been wanting-it was taking forever to buy those tickets to the Chappyland Happy-Happy Bunny Show on the meager pittance he allowed her and she just couldn’t wait any longer, really.
Ichigo would understand afterwards-she’d even buy an extra ticket for him and they could watch the greatness together. He’d completely agree with her that it was worth it when he saw Mr. Chappy do the legendary Happy-Happy Bunny Show Dance. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind.
Meanwhile, next door, Renji began to slowly wake. He blinked, tugged at his bonds and worked his gag in his mouth a bit and looked down at his naked, sheet covered body.
Automatically, he thought all signs pointed to having had a really good night.
Ichigo’s mind continued to scream.
END
EDITS PLZ.