Ouran- "Diametrically Opposed"
Title: Diametrically Opposed
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Character/s: vaguely KyouyaxTamaki, Renge, mentions of the other Host Club members
Word Count: 824
Warning/s: Silliness and OOC. Probably very random too.
Summary: Renge and the nature of opposing forces.
Dedication: electify’s request on my lj.
A/N: The theme requested was: “Resistance.” Does this even make sense? O.o
“Pairs! In Pairs!” Renge demanded through her megaphone as she shot a particularly withering glance at Tamaki,, who was crying and clawing and generally wailing about the injustice of the universe. It was having a decidedly negative effect on the atmosphere she’d carefully crafted for today’s assignment.
“Why can’t I pair with Haruhi?!” he whined, and watched as she-with a twin on each arm-looked uninterestedly on, more concerned about getting this over with so she could get out of the strange, frilly European clothes she’d been made to put on than she cared about her father’s obvious pain.
“Clearly because a certain aesthetic of balance needs to be maintained in these photos,” the self-proclaimed manager declared in response to what she thought was a particularly idiotic question, and the look she threw Tamaki to convey her impatience moved from withering to outright disdainful.
“Plus, there’s an odd number,” the twins-dressed as rather suave pirates-- added in tandem as they leaned companionably against Haruhi.
“Then why can’t Haruhi be with us?!” Tamaki bemoaned, and sobbed against Kyouya’s shoulder. “Okaasan…”
“Yes, Otousan?”
“They’re taking our precious daughter away from us!!! Why aren’t you fighting beside me? A family portrait, this should be a family portrait!” He stomped his foot.
Kyouya very gently pushed Tamaki back a little bit, just enough to slip a handkerchief between the blond’s watery eyes and the very nice velvet waistcoat he was wearing. “They all grow up someday,” he offered by way of consolation (in a practical manner).
“But why do they have to grow up and go away with unscrupulous twins?!”
Renge thwapped Tamaki on the head with the end of her megaphone. “Can’t you see it? The aesthetic balance?” she asked, and put a hand on her hip. “They just won’t do by themselves! Too much of the same thing.”
“Hey,” the twins protested, though more for show than out of any actual fervent feelings on the issue. As long as Tono was crying and Haruhi was with them life was pretty good, after all.
“Haruhi-kun is in there for balance! Their wicked eyes with his cute naiveté! The young noble lord and the rapscallion pirates who shanghai him onto their boat for many lascivious misadventures! The theme of this photo shoot is opposites-coming together despite fundamentally different natures and creating an image of beauty almost inadvertently! The legendary elements of creation are fire and water, after all! Diametrically opposed but at the same time… essential for life as we know it! It’s poetic! And brilliant,” Renge explained hotly, and her aura was positively burning.
Mori and Honey roasted marshmallows.
“Butbutbutbut… Kyouya can be wicked!” Tamaki looked up at his vice-president with big eyes, tugging pathetically on his sleeve. “Ne, Kyouya…be wicked!”
Kyouya adjusted his glasses. “As you wish.”
And then promptly proceeded to ignore Tamaki completely.
“NOT TO ME!!”
Renge decided that Kyouya had a particularly good idea and proceeded to ignore him too. “Now let’s see,” she began, and looked at Honey and Mori first. “Cute, innocent sweet and small… contrasted to wild, dark, stoic…big… PERFECT, it’s so PERFECT!”
Mori gave his marshmallows to Honey, and Honey kept on eating.
The trio next-“Haruhi-kun is the innocent young boy surrounded by wily twins who want to devour him! Ohohoho delicious!”
Tamaki sobbed.
And then…
She sighed when she looked at the remaining two in their Victorian-era clothing-the cool, suave aristocrat and the wide-eyed servant boy. Except said aristocrat was punching in data dispassionately into a PDA while the wide-eyed servant boy was sitting in a corner with his knees up against his chest, drawing pathetic circles on the ground with his index finger.
“Not good enough!” she roared, and pulled Tamaki up to his feet by his arm, supposing that if anything, she could use those crocodile tears for something. Kyouya hadn’t requested her expert aid for this photo shoot for nothing, after all.
“Kyouya-sama,” she began, and pushed Tamaki at him.
Kyouya deftly caught the sulking blond. “Yes?”
“Please do something that would justify the tears, ne?” She sparkled.
Kyouya sparkled back, and Tamaki felt his blood run cold. “Of course.” He turned then, and his glasses gleamed menacingly at the quivering blond in his arms. Gently, he cupped Tamaki’s chin between his thumb and index finger and as he leaned closer, thought of all the money they were going to make from this.
“Noooooo, Kyoooouyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Not in front of the kids!!”
Even the twins had to applaud their senpai’s versatility at that point-they could be wicked when they wanted to of course, but Kyouya could be downright immoral if large sums of investment capital were at stake.
“Perfect! It’s so perfect!!!” Renge declared, and true to her word, the compilation photo album that resulted from that day’s shoot far outsold all others in the Host Club’s illustrious history.
Kyouya noted afterwards, that sales were especially good on the internet.
END
EDITS PLZ.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Character/s: vaguely KyouyaxTamaki, Renge, mentions of the other Host Club members
Word Count: 824
Warning/s: Silliness and OOC. Probably very random too.
Summary: Renge and the nature of opposing forces.
Dedication: electify’s request on my lj.
A/N: The theme requested was: “Resistance.” Does this even make sense? O.o
“Pairs! In Pairs!” Renge demanded through her megaphone as she shot a particularly withering glance at Tamaki,, who was crying and clawing and generally wailing about the injustice of the universe. It was having a decidedly negative effect on the atmosphere she’d carefully crafted for today’s assignment.
“Why can’t I pair with Haruhi?!” he whined, and watched as she-with a twin on each arm-looked uninterestedly on, more concerned about getting this over with so she could get out of the strange, frilly European clothes she’d been made to put on than she cared about her father’s obvious pain.
“Clearly because a certain aesthetic of balance needs to be maintained in these photos,” the self-proclaimed manager declared in response to what she thought was a particularly idiotic question, and the look she threw Tamaki to convey her impatience moved from withering to outright disdainful.
“Plus, there’s an odd number,” the twins-dressed as rather suave pirates-- added in tandem as they leaned companionably against Haruhi.
“Then why can’t Haruhi be with us?!” Tamaki bemoaned, and sobbed against Kyouya’s shoulder. “Okaasan…”
“Yes, Otousan?”
“They’re taking our precious daughter away from us!!! Why aren’t you fighting beside me? A family portrait, this should be a family portrait!” He stomped his foot.
Kyouya very gently pushed Tamaki back a little bit, just enough to slip a handkerchief between the blond’s watery eyes and the very nice velvet waistcoat he was wearing. “They all grow up someday,” he offered by way of consolation (in a practical manner).
“But why do they have to grow up and go away with unscrupulous twins?!”
Renge thwapped Tamaki on the head with the end of her megaphone. “Can’t you see it? The aesthetic balance?” she asked, and put a hand on her hip. “They just won’t do by themselves! Too much of the same thing.”
“Hey,” the twins protested, though more for show than out of any actual fervent feelings on the issue. As long as Tono was crying and Haruhi was with them life was pretty good, after all.
“Haruhi-kun is in there for balance! Their wicked eyes with his cute naiveté! The young noble lord and the rapscallion pirates who shanghai him onto their boat for many lascivious misadventures! The theme of this photo shoot is opposites-coming together despite fundamentally different natures and creating an image of beauty almost inadvertently! The legendary elements of creation are fire and water, after all! Diametrically opposed but at the same time… essential for life as we know it! It’s poetic! And brilliant,” Renge explained hotly, and her aura was positively burning.
Mori and Honey roasted marshmallows.
“Butbutbutbut… Kyouya can be wicked!” Tamaki looked up at his vice-president with big eyes, tugging pathetically on his sleeve. “Ne, Kyouya…be wicked!”
Kyouya adjusted his glasses. “As you wish.”
And then promptly proceeded to ignore Tamaki completely.
“NOT TO ME!!”
Renge decided that Kyouya had a particularly good idea and proceeded to ignore him too. “Now let’s see,” she began, and looked at Honey and Mori first. “Cute, innocent sweet and small… contrasted to wild, dark, stoic…big… PERFECT, it’s so PERFECT!”
Mori gave his marshmallows to Honey, and Honey kept on eating.
The trio next-“Haruhi-kun is the innocent young boy surrounded by wily twins who want to devour him! Ohohoho delicious!”
Tamaki sobbed.
And then…
She sighed when she looked at the remaining two in their Victorian-era clothing-the cool, suave aristocrat and the wide-eyed servant boy. Except said aristocrat was punching in data dispassionately into a PDA while the wide-eyed servant boy was sitting in a corner with his knees up against his chest, drawing pathetic circles on the ground with his index finger.
“Not good enough!” she roared, and pulled Tamaki up to his feet by his arm, supposing that if anything, she could use those crocodile tears for something. Kyouya hadn’t requested her expert aid for this photo shoot for nothing, after all.
“Kyouya-sama,” she began, and pushed Tamaki at him.
Kyouya deftly caught the sulking blond. “Yes?”
“Please do something that would justify the tears, ne?” She sparkled.
Kyouya sparkled back, and Tamaki felt his blood run cold. “Of course.” He turned then, and his glasses gleamed menacingly at the quivering blond in his arms. Gently, he cupped Tamaki’s chin between his thumb and index finger and as he leaned closer, thought of all the money they were going to make from this.
“Noooooo, Kyoooouyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Not in front of the kids!!”
Even the twins had to applaud their senpai’s versatility at that point-they could be wicked when they wanted to of course, but Kyouya could be downright immoral if large sums of investment capital were at stake.
“Perfect! It’s so perfect!!!” Renge declared, and true to her word, the compilation photo album that resulted from that day’s shoot far outsold all others in the Host Club’s illustrious history.
Kyouya noted afterwards, that sales were especially good on the internet.
END
EDITS PLZ.