Bleach Drabble (271-273)
ARGH Japanese Oral final tomorrow... SO DEAD SO DEAD SO DEAD.
And what did I do instead of study?
You guessed it. -_-;;
271.
Title: Wasted
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Character/s: KyorakuxUkitake
Word Count: 715
Warning/s: Er, minor spoilers for Kyouraku and Ukitake’s youths?
Summary: Yamamoto-sensei is disappointed in Ukitake.
Dedication: Everyone who’s sticking with me even though my brain has been consumed by only two or three pairings for a while now. ^^;;
A/N: Simply because it’s been a LONG TIME since I’ve written these two. ^^;;
The first time Yamamoto-sensei caught them kissing, he’d given both of them a long, slow look, before turning around and stating that they were late for class as he left.
As an after thought, he added, “Jyuushirou…meet me in my office.”
Pink-cheeked, the young Ukitake had responded with a meek, “Yes, sensei.”
Kyouraku promptly called out, “Shall I come too, Yama-jii?” after the ancient shinigami, and earned himself fifty laps around the academy grounds as a result.
Jyuushirou trudged with his head down into Yamamoto’s office, embarrassed at having been caught though determined not to be ashamed because he really liked Shunsui… a lot.
The young, white-haired student prepared himself to stand up to his most exalted and respected instructor in defense of the choice he had made.
“Come in and have a seat,” Yamamoto instructed from his chair after Ukitake had bowed. The old man was smoking his pipe, still looking mildly at his favorite student as he did. He gestured to an open seat in front of his desk.
Jyuushirou took it and filled his lungs with a deep, shaky breath. “Sensei…”
Yamamoto held up a hand, stopping the young man mid-sentence. He took another slow, deliberate puff on his pipe before setting it down on the table. “Jyuushirou… I have to say, I’m disappointed in you,” he began coolly.
Ukitake made to protest, but a sharp look from the white-bearded commander killed the words in the youth’s throat.
“You were late for class today. You’re never late for class. And when I came across to two of you what did I discover? That you were tardy because you and Shunsui were engaged in…”
“Sensei, please!” Ukitake objected, face turning red. “We were just…”
Yamamoto waved a hand. “I know what you were doing,” he assured the young man calmly. “And to be honest, I had hoped that for someone of your talent, such things would never come to pass.”
Ukitake looked stricken.
But at the same time, determined.
“Sensei, Shunsui and I… we… really…well that is, the two of us…we really like each other,” he started, wringing his hands in his lap nervously.
Yamamoto’s wrinkles deepened as he frowned. “Do you really now?”
“Y-yes.”
“Are you certain? You’re too young really, to know these sorts of things, aren’t you?”
“N-no sir! We… we know.”
The old man eyed his charge. “You’re absolutely certain?”
Jyuushirou began to grow more confident the more he said it. “Yes, sensei.”
Yamamoto’s lip curled.
Ukitake braced himself.
And then the old man leaned back in his chair, looking defeated. “I was hoping for so much better for you, Jyuushirou,” he admitted with a little wheeze.
Ukitake blinked. “Er… excuse me, sir?”
Yamamoto made a vague gesture with his hand in the air in front of him. “Shunsui is a real cad, you know,” he began, using his other hand to rub at his temple like the mere thought of the other boy gave him a headache. “He’s loud and obnoxious and knows no respect. He’s flashy and smart-alecky and really, a good boy like you has no place being with a hooligan like that, Jyuushirou. What a waste.”
The young man didn’t know what to say. “Wait…so…”
Yamamoto sighed. “Really my boy, you could do so much better.”
Ukitake was too dumbfounded to defend Shunsui’s character. “B-better, sir?”
“Of course. Much better.”
But then Yamamoto thought of Kisuke and supposed that Jyuushirou could do worse too.
“In any case, please refrain from being tardy again, Jyuushirou. That is all.”
“Ah, yessir!”
That day, Jyuushirou left his sensei’s office with the knowledge that Shunsui was a cad (whom he really liked a lot) and that the two of them were assigned eraser duty for the rest of the week for being late.
So Ukitake made sure that the next time Yamamoto caught them kissing, it was on a weekend, and the two of them respectfully stopped immediately upon spotting their teacher. Jyuushirou bowed and Kyouraku gave a little salute and didn’t say anything disrespectful or smart-alecky at all as the ancient shinigami passed.
Yamamoto supposed (grudgingly), that it wasn’t a complete waste of Jyuushirou’s good nature then, if in the future, he could at least look forward to more of the white-haired boy’s positive influence on Shunsui’s behavior.
END
272.
Title: A Captain’s Duty
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Character/s: ShuuxYumi, Byakuya+Renji (ish)
Word Count: 867
Warning/s: Tons of OOC and silliness, but no spoilers I can think of.
Summary: Continuation of #268 (Dirty Pool)- Yumichika and Shuuhei meet with Kuchiki Byakuya himself.
Dedication: sw_inku for the promise of ShuuxYumi art! *is a happy camper*
A/N: I just wanted to mess with Byakuya. Really. XD
Kuchiki Byakuya felt something vaguely like horror beginning to slowly consume him.
“And that, Kuchiki-taichou, is our predicament. Absolutely horrendous wouldn’t you say?”
The sixth division captain wanted to blink and see if the little sparklies constantly hanging over Ayasekawa’s head were real or merely figments of his imagination after it had been subjected to Yumichika’s silver-tongue for the last… thirty-seven minutes and fifty-eight seconds.
“Herm… I see.”
Yumichika smiled at him then, and he couldn’t tell the difference for a moment, between predatory and pleasant.
Silence.
And then Hisagi coughed. “Er…good cookies ya got here, Kuchiki-taichou, sir.”
Yumichika shot a sideways look at his lover, half-amused and mostly irritated at having his smooth atmosphere diluted ever-so-slightly, by Shuuhei’s awkwardness. “Aren't they? Don’t eat too many, darling.”
Hisagi blushed at the endearment so easily thrown out in front of their exalted company and promptly shut up.
Diluted or not, Byakuya still felt like he was swimming in molasses. He blinked, fiddled with his teacup, and then said in his most neutral tone. “And what, Ayasekawa-san, would you propose I do about it?”
Yumichika’s smile broadened.
At the gesture, Byakuya forcibly suppressed his instincts, which were screaming at him to defend himself with the nearest available weapon (he didn’t think the family would appreciate his destroying an heirloom teapot, especially in self-defense against a mere fifth-chair).
“Well, seeing as to how you are his captain and we are his friends, I only naturally thought that a harmonious combination of input from both his most respected colleague and his peers would be able to hash out a suitable solution to poor Abarai-san’s loneliness.”
Byakuya’s shinigami-senses tingled in warning. A lot. “Erm… I don’t see how I could offer any…assistance on such a personal matter, Ayasekawa, given that I merely maintain a work relationship with Renji…”
Yumichika pursed his lips thoughtfully at Byakuya’s attempt to sidestep whatever crazy idea was undoubtedly running through the other man’s head. “You’re right,” he admitted after a moment.
Shuuhei blinked. “He is?”
Byakuya blinked too. “I am?”
Ayasekawa nodded solemnly. “You aren’t qualified to help us with this problem if your relationship with Abarai-san is merely professional.”
Byakuya felt a warm wave of relief wash over him. “I’m right.”
“Therefore, I think it’s not only your responsibility as a captain but as someone who Abarai cares for and respects, to rectify that very serious problem.”
Wave effectively smashed. “Come again?”
Yumichika beamed, looking very self-satisfied with his deductions. “Naturally, only after you get to know him on a more personal level, will you be better equipped to aid us in our quest to help Renji.”
Byakuya stared. “Erm…”
“And surely, as a good and wise man, you would only wish to help those who serve under you to the best of your ability. I do believe that this is the most natural way in which you can contribute to the solving of the problem.”
“I…that is, erm…”
Yumichika clapped his hands together. “Then it’s settled! We will put Renji’s loneliness on the backburner for now, until Kuchiki-taichou can get a better grasp of the situation. He’ll need to spend a lot of time in the next few weeks with Renji outside of just work, of course, but as a good and just captain, I don’t see how such a small sacrifice would be a problem.”
Byakuya felt the horror beginning to creep back into his bones. “I…”
“You truly are a wonderful man, Kuchiki-taichou. You live up to not only your family’s prestige but to that of the entire Gotei-13 and all its captains as well.”
“Er…thank you.”
Byakuya highly suspected his mind of having shut off some time ago, in order to preserve his sanity. What he wanted to say was….
“TAICHOU!!!!”
It was like it had been completely on cue. Yumichika didn’t even bat a feathery brow as Renji’s scream split the air between them, the redhead appearing in the doorway with a shout, frazzled and breathing hard. The redhead looked around the room like he expected some sort of trap to jump out at him and devour him.
Byakuya remembered himself enough to be indignant at the intrusion into his home. “Renji…”
“How convenient!” Yumichika exclaimed with a fluttering laugh. “Isn’t this convenient, darling?” he repeated to Shuuhei, who was looking forlornly at the cookies he was no longer allowed to have any more of.
“Er…yeah. Convenient!”
Yumi smiled. “Well, I suppose we should let you get to work then, Kuchiki-taichou? Thank you so much for your time today. We’ll leave you and Renji to yourselves then.”
The fifth chair stood and tossed his head with an air of royalty that Byakuya thought might just have outshone his own.
Shuuhei scrambled up to follow after, grinning and winking at Renji as the two passed him.
“Kuchiki-taichou?” Ayasekawa called back before he was out of sight.
“Um, yes?”
“I’m counting on you, sir.”
Byakuya would have said something, except that at that moment, Ayasekawa reached backwards with a foot and very smoothly, kicked Renji inside.
The sixth division vice-captain gave an indignant squawk and fell forward, crashing right into his very confused, very horrified captain.
The door was promptly shut after him.
END
273.
Title: The Shame of Defeat
Rating: PG-15
Pairing/Character/s: Kenpachi, Yachiru, (implied) IkkakuxKira
Word Count: 982
Warning/s: No spoilers I can think of. Some CRACK tho.
Summary: Companion drabble to #270 (Creating a Monster) and vaguely related to #145 (I Know a Hot Guy who Swallowed a Fly)- Ikkaku is exhausted.
Dedication: anikka_baka for the really cute fanart!
A/N: Because I felt like crack.
It was about the second or third time seeing Ikkaku fall asleep while Yachiru was chewing on his head when Kenpachi figured that maybe something was wrong with Madarame.
Being naturally concerned, the eleventh division captain marched over to his dozing subordinate and promptly flicked him right between the eyebrows. Hard.
Ikkaku snorted and woke up with a startled yelp. “The…what? Er, taichou?”
It took approximately two seconds for him to realize that his head was being chewed on.
“Argh, goddammit Yachiru, get off, I mean it!”
He swatted ineffectually at the pink-haired vice-captain, who laughed and danced onto Zaraki’s shoulder instead, face alight with mischief. “Ken-chan, he’s gone stupid!” she announced happily. “Just like you said he would if I’d keep it up enough!”
It figured that Zaraki’s warnings only meant Yachiru trying something more.
Ikkaku scowled, wiping saliva from his scalp. “Aw, shaddup,” he grumped, looking more put out about being awake than the kiddy-spit.
Zaraki frowned. “The hell’s wrong with you?” he asked, regarding his subordinate critically. Then, “You ain’t bein’ a chicken-wuss and losin’ sleep thinkin’ ‘bout the mission that’s comin’ up or anythin’ are ya?”
Ikkaku’s eyes narrowed. “Course not!” he denied quickly. “Ain’t nothing like that, taichou.”
“Then the hell’s wrong with you?”
Ikkaku’s brow furrowed as he wondered about how he could possibly explain that the upcoming mission meant a week away from seireitei, which also meant that he hadn’t been getting much sleep lately to make up for that absence.
“Er… well, that is… I’ve uh…”
“He has bruises all over!” Yachiru exclaimed happily, too impatient to wait for him to finish. “I saw ‘em. All up and down his neck and stuff!”
Kenpachi blinked. “You been fightin’?” he asked, suddenly looking more interested in Madarame’s life.
Ikkaku’s hastily pulled his gi higher over his neck. “Er… suppose you could say that, taichou.”
“You’re winnin’, right?”
“Er… ain’t exactly losin’.”
Zaraki’s eye gleamed. “Yeah? Your opponents hard to beat or somethin’?”
“Er… not at the end, with any luck.”
Zaraki blinked. Then seemed to accept what Madarame was saying. “Sounds good. Though ya don’t gotta be so tired. Seems wimpy, if ya ask me.”
“Well, if the bastard would just stop jumpin’ me every chance he got…” Ikkaku started in his own defense.
“Oh like you complain,” Yumichika interjected as he passed the three in the hall like some sort of perfectly timed gag in a manga. “Taichou, I hope you know he likes getting jumped every chance he can get,” the Ayasekawa added with an evil little twitter.
Madarame vowed to kill him when he had the energy.
Kenpachi watched Ayasekawa flit down the corridor and wondered if maybe he was getting the wrong idea about things if Yumichika thought they were worth laughing over.
He replayed the conversation in his head.
And then… “Hey…”
Ikkaku swallowed.
“Ya didn’t really win ya?”
Ikkaku blinked. “What?”
“You tied!”
Ikkaku’s eyes widened. “NO! I… that is, what I meant to…”
Zaraki read his response wrongly. “What? Ya mean you lost?” he accused, looking almost wild. “You know we got a no-lose policy ‘round here Ikkaku. And tyin’s just as bad, ya know.”
“I know that… but I didn’t…”
“Well damn. I suppose I shoulda figured, since those bruises on your neck can’t mean ya won. Not all the way.”
Zaraki regarded his subordinate disapprovingly. “Geez, I’da expected you to at least come out and admit it or somethin’… maybe train harder or kill yourself to save some face. Sleepin’ on the job, feelin’ sorry for yourself instead, no wonder ya got your ass kicked like ya did.”
“But I…”
“Should kill you right where you stand, shouldn’t I? You’d only be so lucky, ya no good rule-breakin’ wimp.”
It was about there when Ikkaku lost patience with his captain and apparently, the very small amount of faith Zaraki had in his third chair’s abilities.
“I didn’t just tie sir, I completely lost sir,” he drawled, cleaning his ear with his little finger. “Got my ass kicked hard. A coupla times.”
“Che. Ain’t nothin’ to be proud over, ya little twerp. How’d it happen? The guy you fight really that strong?”
“Vice-captain class death god, sir. Real pretty like. Blonde with rosy cheeks and a nice smile. Jumped me as I was entering my own home, sir. Was dark, so I couldn’t see. Got tackled as I was takin’ my shoes off.”
Kenpachi blinked. “In your home? That don’t…”
“’Fore I knew it I was on the ground with my pants round my ankles. Tried ta fight back sir, but I was pinned and before I could do anythin’ about it, my cock was in his mouth and that’s pretty much when I surrendered, sir…”
Kenpachi, eye wide with horror, reached up and promptly clamped his hands over Yachiru’s ears. “The hell is wrong with you?!” he hissed, cheeks ever so slightly pink.
Ikkaku stared back levelly. “The hell’s wrong with you, taichou?”
“Goddamn, Madarame, if ya were just bein’ oversexed you coulda at least been subtle about it or somethin’,” Zaraki chastised, keeping a firm hold though Yachiru was squirming impatiently between his hands now.
Ikkaku blinked. “Huh?”
Kenpachi struggled a little more with Yachiru. “Goddammit, took me weeks to convince her roosters ain’t made for bein’ swallowed the last time shit like this got brought up,” the captain muttered, glaring hard at his subordinate. “Che. You’n Yumichika shouldn’t be allowed near kids, ya bastards. Yer both horrible influences and I oughta… OW! Fuckin’ shit Yachiru next time ya bite me I’m biting you right back, ya got that, brat? See if I don’t take a good chunka meat outta your hide. God damn!”
Yachiru promptly ignored him and waved at Ikkaku excitedly. “Ne, Baldy-head, did the guy you fought really swallow a whole chicken?!”
Kenpachi slapped a hand to his forehead. “Oh fuckin’ hell.”
END
Edits needed like, woah.
And to study but... heh. XD
And what did I do instead of study?
You guessed it. -_-;;
271.
Title: Wasted
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Character/s: KyorakuxUkitake
Word Count: 715
Warning/s: Er, minor spoilers for Kyouraku and Ukitake’s youths?
Summary: Yamamoto-sensei is disappointed in Ukitake.
Dedication: Everyone who’s sticking with me even though my brain has been consumed by only two or three pairings for a while now. ^^;;
A/N: Simply because it’s been a LONG TIME since I’ve written these two. ^^;;
The first time Yamamoto-sensei caught them kissing, he’d given both of them a long, slow look, before turning around and stating that they were late for class as he left.
As an after thought, he added, “Jyuushirou…meet me in my office.”
Pink-cheeked, the young Ukitake had responded with a meek, “Yes, sensei.”
Kyouraku promptly called out, “Shall I come too, Yama-jii?” after the ancient shinigami, and earned himself fifty laps around the academy grounds as a result.
Jyuushirou trudged with his head down into Yamamoto’s office, embarrassed at having been caught though determined not to be ashamed because he really liked Shunsui… a lot.
The young, white-haired student prepared himself to stand up to his most exalted and respected instructor in defense of the choice he had made.
“Come in and have a seat,” Yamamoto instructed from his chair after Ukitake had bowed. The old man was smoking his pipe, still looking mildly at his favorite student as he did. He gestured to an open seat in front of his desk.
Jyuushirou took it and filled his lungs with a deep, shaky breath. “Sensei…”
Yamamoto held up a hand, stopping the young man mid-sentence. He took another slow, deliberate puff on his pipe before setting it down on the table. “Jyuushirou… I have to say, I’m disappointed in you,” he began coolly.
Ukitake made to protest, but a sharp look from the white-bearded commander killed the words in the youth’s throat.
“You were late for class today. You’re never late for class. And when I came across to two of you what did I discover? That you were tardy because you and Shunsui were engaged in…”
“Sensei, please!” Ukitake objected, face turning red. “We were just…”
Yamamoto waved a hand. “I know what you were doing,” he assured the young man calmly. “And to be honest, I had hoped that for someone of your talent, such things would never come to pass.”
Ukitake looked stricken.
But at the same time, determined.
“Sensei, Shunsui and I… we… really…well that is, the two of us…we really like each other,” he started, wringing his hands in his lap nervously.
Yamamoto’s wrinkles deepened as he frowned. “Do you really now?”
“Y-yes.”
“Are you certain? You’re too young really, to know these sorts of things, aren’t you?”
“N-no sir! We… we know.”
The old man eyed his charge. “You’re absolutely certain?”
Jyuushirou began to grow more confident the more he said it. “Yes, sensei.”
Yamamoto’s lip curled.
Ukitake braced himself.
And then the old man leaned back in his chair, looking defeated. “I was hoping for so much better for you, Jyuushirou,” he admitted with a little wheeze.
Ukitake blinked. “Er… excuse me, sir?”
Yamamoto made a vague gesture with his hand in the air in front of him. “Shunsui is a real cad, you know,” he began, using his other hand to rub at his temple like the mere thought of the other boy gave him a headache. “He’s loud and obnoxious and knows no respect. He’s flashy and smart-alecky and really, a good boy like you has no place being with a hooligan like that, Jyuushirou. What a waste.”
The young man didn’t know what to say. “Wait…so…”
Yamamoto sighed. “Really my boy, you could do so much better.”
Ukitake was too dumbfounded to defend Shunsui’s character. “B-better, sir?”
“Of course. Much better.”
But then Yamamoto thought of Kisuke and supposed that Jyuushirou could do worse too.
“In any case, please refrain from being tardy again, Jyuushirou. That is all.”
“Ah, yessir!”
That day, Jyuushirou left his sensei’s office with the knowledge that Shunsui was a cad (whom he really liked a lot) and that the two of them were assigned eraser duty for the rest of the week for being late.
So Ukitake made sure that the next time Yamamoto caught them kissing, it was on a weekend, and the two of them respectfully stopped immediately upon spotting their teacher. Jyuushirou bowed and Kyouraku gave a little salute and didn’t say anything disrespectful or smart-alecky at all as the ancient shinigami passed.
Yamamoto supposed (grudgingly), that it wasn’t a complete waste of Jyuushirou’s good nature then, if in the future, he could at least look forward to more of the white-haired boy’s positive influence on Shunsui’s behavior.
END
272.
Title: A Captain’s Duty
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Character/s: ShuuxYumi, Byakuya+Renji (ish)
Word Count: 867
Warning/s: Tons of OOC and silliness, but no spoilers I can think of.
Summary: Continuation of #268 (Dirty Pool)- Yumichika and Shuuhei meet with Kuchiki Byakuya himself.
Dedication: sw_inku for the promise of ShuuxYumi art! *is a happy camper*
A/N: I just wanted to mess with Byakuya. Really. XD
Kuchiki Byakuya felt something vaguely like horror beginning to slowly consume him.
“And that, Kuchiki-taichou, is our predicament. Absolutely horrendous wouldn’t you say?”
The sixth division captain wanted to blink and see if the little sparklies constantly hanging over Ayasekawa’s head were real or merely figments of his imagination after it had been subjected to Yumichika’s silver-tongue for the last… thirty-seven minutes and fifty-eight seconds.
“Herm… I see.”
Yumichika smiled at him then, and he couldn’t tell the difference for a moment, between predatory and pleasant.
Silence.
And then Hisagi coughed. “Er…good cookies ya got here, Kuchiki-taichou, sir.”
Yumichika shot a sideways look at his lover, half-amused and mostly irritated at having his smooth atmosphere diluted ever-so-slightly, by Shuuhei’s awkwardness. “Aren't they? Don’t eat too many, darling.”
Hisagi blushed at the endearment so easily thrown out in front of their exalted company and promptly shut up.
Diluted or not, Byakuya still felt like he was swimming in molasses. He blinked, fiddled with his teacup, and then said in his most neutral tone. “And what, Ayasekawa-san, would you propose I do about it?”
Yumichika’s smile broadened.
At the gesture, Byakuya forcibly suppressed his instincts, which were screaming at him to defend himself with the nearest available weapon (he didn’t think the family would appreciate his destroying an heirloom teapot, especially in self-defense against a mere fifth-chair).
“Well, seeing as to how you are his captain and we are his friends, I only naturally thought that a harmonious combination of input from both his most respected colleague and his peers would be able to hash out a suitable solution to poor Abarai-san’s loneliness.”
Byakuya’s shinigami-senses tingled in warning. A lot. “Erm… I don’t see how I could offer any…assistance on such a personal matter, Ayasekawa, given that I merely maintain a work relationship with Renji…”
Yumichika pursed his lips thoughtfully at Byakuya’s attempt to sidestep whatever crazy idea was undoubtedly running through the other man’s head. “You’re right,” he admitted after a moment.
Shuuhei blinked. “He is?”
Byakuya blinked too. “I am?”
Ayasekawa nodded solemnly. “You aren’t qualified to help us with this problem if your relationship with Abarai-san is merely professional.”
Byakuya felt a warm wave of relief wash over him. “I’m right.”
“Therefore, I think it’s not only your responsibility as a captain but as someone who Abarai cares for and respects, to rectify that very serious problem.”
Wave effectively smashed. “Come again?”
Yumichika beamed, looking very self-satisfied with his deductions. “Naturally, only after you get to know him on a more personal level, will you be better equipped to aid us in our quest to help Renji.”
Byakuya stared. “Erm…”
“And surely, as a good and wise man, you would only wish to help those who serve under you to the best of your ability. I do believe that this is the most natural way in which you can contribute to the solving of the problem.”
“I…that is, erm…”
Yumichika clapped his hands together. “Then it’s settled! We will put Renji’s loneliness on the backburner for now, until Kuchiki-taichou can get a better grasp of the situation. He’ll need to spend a lot of time in the next few weeks with Renji outside of just work, of course, but as a good and just captain, I don’t see how such a small sacrifice would be a problem.”
Byakuya felt the horror beginning to creep back into his bones. “I…”
“You truly are a wonderful man, Kuchiki-taichou. You live up to not only your family’s prestige but to that of the entire Gotei-13 and all its captains as well.”
“Er…thank you.”
Byakuya highly suspected his mind of having shut off some time ago, in order to preserve his sanity. What he wanted to say was….
“TAICHOU!!!!”
It was like it had been completely on cue. Yumichika didn’t even bat a feathery brow as Renji’s scream split the air between them, the redhead appearing in the doorway with a shout, frazzled and breathing hard. The redhead looked around the room like he expected some sort of trap to jump out at him and devour him.
Byakuya remembered himself enough to be indignant at the intrusion into his home. “Renji…”
“How convenient!” Yumichika exclaimed with a fluttering laugh. “Isn’t this convenient, darling?” he repeated to Shuuhei, who was looking forlornly at the cookies he was no longer allowed to have any more of.
“Er…yeah. Convenient!”
Yumi smiled. “Well, I suppose we should let you get to work then, Kuchiki-taichou? Thank you so much for your time today. We’ll leave you and Renji to yourselves then.”
The fifth chair stood and tossed his head with an air of royalty that Byakuya thought might just have outshone his own.
Shuuhei scrambled up to follow after, grinning and winking at Renji as the two passed him.
“Kuchiki-taichou?” Ayasekawa called back before he was out of sight.
“Um, yes?”
“I’m counting on you, sir.”
Byakuya would have said something, except that at that moment, Ayasekawa reached backwards with a foot and very smoothly, kicked Renji inside.
The sixth division vice-captain gave an indignant squawk and fell forward, crashing right into his very confused, very horrified captain.
The door was promptly shut after him.
END
273.
Title: The Shame of Defeat
Rating: PG-15
Pairing/Character/s: Kenpachi, Yachiru, (implied) IkkakuxKira
Word Count: 982
Warning/s: No spoilers I can think of. Some CRACK tho.
Summary: Companion drabble to #270 (Creating a Monster) and vaguely related to #145 (I Know a Hot Guy who Swallowed a Fly)- Ikkaku is exhausted.
Dedication: anikka_baka for the really cute fanart!
A/N: Because I felt like crack.
It was about the second or third time seeing Ikkaku fall asleep while Yachiru was chewing on his head when Kenpachi figured that maybe something was wrong with Madarame.
Being naturally concerned, the eleventh division captain marched over to his dozing subordinate and promptly flicked him right between the eyebrows. Hard.
Ikkaku snorted and woke up with a startled yelp. “The…what? Er, taichou?”
It took approximately two seconds for him to realize that his head was being chewed on.
“Argh, goddammit Yachiru, get off, I mean it!”
He swatted ineffectually at the pink-haired vice-captain, who laughed and danced onto Zaraki’s shoulder instead, face alight with mischief. “Ken-chan, he’s gone stupid!” she announced happily. “Just like you said he would if I’d keep it up enough!”
It figured that Zaraki’s warnings only meant Yachiru trying something more.
Ikkaku scowled, wiping saliva from his scalp. “Aw, shaddup,” he grumped, looking more put out about being awake than the kiddy-spit.
Zaraki frowned. “The hell’s wrong with you?” he asked, regarding his subordinate critically. Then, “You ain’t bein’ a chicken-wuss and losin’ sleep thinkin’ ‘bout the mission that’s comin’ up or anythin’ are ya?”
Ikkaku’s eyes narrowed. “Course not!” he denied quickly. “Ain’t nothing like that, taichou.”
“Then the hell’s wrong with you?”
Ikkaku’s brow furrowed as he wondered about how he could possibly explain that the upcoming mission meant a week away from seireitei, which also meant that he hadn’t been getting much sleep lately to make up for that absence.
“Er… well, that is… I’ve uh…”
“He has bruises all over!” Yachiru exclaimed happily, too impatient to wait for him to finish. “I saw ‘em. All up and down his neck and stuff!”
Kenpachi blinked. “You been fightin’?” he asked, suddenly looking more interested in Madarame’s life.
Ikkaku’s hastily pulled his gi higher over his neck. “Er… suppose you could say that, taichou.”
“You’re winnin’, right?”
“Er… ain’t exactly losin’.”
Zaraki’s eye gleamed. “Yeah? Your opponents hard to beat or somethin’?”
“Er… not at the end, with any luck.”
Zaraki blinked. Then seemed to accept what Madarame was saying. “Sounds good. Though ya don’t gotta be so tired. Seems wimpy, if ya ask me.”
“Well, if the bastard would just stop jumpin’ me every chance he got…” Ikkaku started in his own defense.
“Oh like you complain,” Yumichika interjected as he passed the three in the hall like some sort of perfectly timed gag in a manga. “Taichou, I hope you know he likes getting jumped every chance he can get,” the Ayasekawa added with an evil little twitter.
Madarame vowed to kill him when he had the energy.
Kenpachi watched Ayasekawa flit down the corridor and wondered if maybe he was getting the wrong idea about things if Yumichika thought they were worth laughing over.
He replayed the conversation in his head.
And then… “Hey…”
Ikkaku swallowed.
“Ya didn’t really win ya?”
Ikkaku blinked. “What?”
“You tied!”
Ikkaku’s eyes widened. “NO! I… that is, what I meant to…”
Zaraki read his response wrongly. “What? Ya mean you lost?” he accused, looking almost wild. “You know we got a no-lose policy ‘round here Ikkaku. And tyin’s just as bad, ya know.”
“I know that… but I didn’t…”
“Well damn. I suppose I shoulda figured, since those bruises on your neck can’t mean ya won. Not all the way.”
Zaraki regarded his subordinate disapprovingly. “Geez, I’da expected you to at least come out and admit it or somethin’… maybe train harder or kill yourself to save some face. Sleepin’ on the job, feelin’ sorry for yourself instead, no wonder ya got your ass kicked like ya did.”
“But I…”
“Should kill you right where you stand, shouldn’t I? You’d only be so lucky, ya no good rule-breakin’ wimp.”
It was about there when Ikkaku lost patience with his captain and apparently, the very small amount of faith Zaraki had in his third chair’s abilities.
“I didn’t just tie sir, I completely lost sir,” he drawled, cleaning his ear with his little finger. “Got my ass kicked hard. A coupla times.”
“Che. Ain’t nothin’ to be proud over, ya little twerp. How’d it happen? The guy you fight really that strong?”
“Vice-captain class death god, sir. Real pretty like. Blonde with rosy cheeks and a nice smile. Jumped me as I was entering my own home, sir. Was dark, so I couldn’t see. Got tackled as I was takin’ my shoes off.”
Kenpachi blinked. “In your home? That don’t…”
“’Fore I knew it I was on the ground with my pants round my ankles. Tried ta fight back sir, but I was pinned and before I could do anythin’ about it, my cock was in his mouth and that’s pretty much when I surrendered, sir…”
Kenpachi, eye wide with horror, reached up and promptly clamped his hands over Yachiru’s ears. “The hell is wrong with you?!” he hissed, cheeks ever so slightly pink.
Ikkaku stared back levelly. “The hell’s wrong with you, taichou?”
“Goddamn, Madarame, if ya were just bein’ oversexed you coulda at least been subtle about it or somethin’,” Zaraki chastised, keeping a firm hold though Yachiru was squirming impatiently between his hands now.
Ikkaku blinked. “Huh?”
Kenpachi struggled a little more with Yachiru. “Goddammit, took me weeks to convince her roosters ain’t made for bein’ swallowed the last time shit like this got brought up,” the captain muttered, glaring hard at his subordinate. “Che. You’n Yumichika shouldn’t be allowed near kids, ya bastards. Yer both horrible influences and I oughta… OW! Fuckin’ shit Yachiru next time ya bite me I’m biting you right back, ya got that, brat? See if I don’t take a good chunka meat outta your hide. God damn!”
Yachiru promptly ignored him and waved at Ikkaku excitedly. “Ne, Baldy-head, did the guy you fought really swallow a whole chicken?!”
Kenpachi slapped a hand to his forehead. “Oh fuckin’ hell.”
END
Edits needed like, woah.
And to study but... heh. XD