JE/NewS+Katekyo Hitman Reborn- "Shot in the Head"
Title: Shot in the Head
Universe: JE/News/Katekyo Hitman Reborn
Theme/Topic: NewS in the universe of Katekyo Hitman Reborn AU (i.e. a Mafia AU)
Rating: PG-13 for some swearing?
Character/Pairing/s: NewS, Reborn
Warnings/Spoilers: OOC, crack, AU
Word Count: 2,010
Summary: Yamapi doesn’t want to be a mafia boss.
Dedication: UM better not this time.
A/N: Okay this is not going to make sense to ANYONE because I think I am the only person in the world who is simultaneously into Reborn and NewS. BUT IN CASE SOMEONE ELSE IS, I realize the sheer ridiculousness of the Hibari/Shige thing, but the tagline that comes with the cloud guardian struck me more as Shige than anyone else when I thought about it in detail. LEAVE ME ALONE, he is totally at his own pace. It’s just… a lot slower than Hibari’s, okay? OKAY. LOL This is what happens when I have writer’s block and someone suggests that I free write.
Disclaimer: Not mine, unfortunately.
Distribution: Just lemme know.
1. Ring of the Sky: That which engulfs everything and is open to all
“But I don’t want to be a mafia boss!” Yamapi tells the strange suit-wearing child hotly, “I’m just a regular person!” To emphasize he points to his regular school books and his regular sneakers; those definitely aren’t the signs of a gangster. Don’t members of the mafia always carry guns and wear Italian leather?
“You have the blood of the First Boss coursing through your veins,” the child tells him, and suddenly has a gun in hand from out of nowhere, “I’m here to teach you how to lead the family.”
Yamapi blinks. “What family? There’s no one here but us, ne.”
The talking baby smiles. “We have to build a good family first,” he says, and levels his gun at Yamapi’s head. “With your dying will.”
Yamapi doesn’t have time to shout before the bullet hits him.
2. Ring of Storm: The turbulent gale that fiercely blows
“Tch, I refuse to accept you as my boss,” the new transfer student snaps at Yamapi without so much as a hello or how do you do. He looks Yamapi up and down, clearly unimpressed, and then goes to take his seat.
“See?” Yamapi tells the suit-wearing baby (who is currently disguised as his bento). “He doesn’t want me to lead the family either.”
Reborn ignores him and pitches an eraser at the back of the new kid’s head, hard.
When the new kid turns and glares at Yamapi, Yamapi almost wants to crawl under his desk and hide.
It turns out that his hyper intuition is right; he probably should have taken shelter under a table earlier.
“He’s throwing dynamite at me!” Yamapi says as he runs for his life after class, just in case Reborn has not noticed the fact yet.
“He’s challenging your authority as the leader of NewS,” Reborn tells Yamapi calmly, dodging the flying explosives in a way that makes Yamapi think he knows exactly what is going on, he just doesn’t care.
“I don’t want to be the leader of NewS!” Yamapi reiterates, “If he wants to do it then he can do it, ne.”
Reborn smiles enigmatically as the little lizard he carries on the brim of his hat scuttles into his hand and begins to glow. “With your dying will, you will defeat him.”
Yamapi wakes up five minutes later in nothing but his underwear. Ryo is looking down at him grumpily but with a vague sense of approval, and Yamapi notices that some of the nearby buildings have been reduced to nothing but smoldering ash. The two of them seem-miraculously-fine.
“What…”
“Let’s go,” Ryo says, shoving hands into his pockets shyly. “I think I’m supposed to be your right hand man.”
Yamapi blinks, “But I’m not NewS’s…”
He yelps when Reborn suddenly lands on his head. “Isn’t this great, Yamapi?” the baby hitman states, “Your family is growing.”
Yamapi watches Ryo glare suspiciously at every person they pass on the street as they head back to his house.
He sighs to himself.
“So this is what the NewS family is, ne,” he says, and starts to feel a helpless kind of acceptance about the whole thing even though he still doesn’t want to be NewS’s leader.
3. Ring of Rain: The merciful shower that cleanses the battlefield
Koyama laughs when he hears Reborn’s story, reaching out to pat the baby on the head gently. “Sure!” the tall baseball player says brightly, “I’d love to play the mafia game with you, little kid!”
As it is, Koyama loves little kids.
Reborn looks satisfied. “The family is growing,” he says to himself.
“We don’t need this baseball idiot,” Ryo snaps from the side, arms crossed sourly and glaring. “Aren’t I Pi’s right hand man? That’s enough.”
Koyama chuckles. “As long as everyone is having fun together it’s okay, isn’t it?” He looks ecstatic as he shoulders his bat, “Everyone, let’s be great friends from now on!”
Yamapi thinks that it is a good sentiment, but at the same time, he doesn’t think Koyama knows exactly what he is getting into here.
His suspicions are confirmed when Koyama looks around, still smiling, and asks, “So… how do you play the mafia game, exactly?”
4. Ring of Thunder: The one who strikes a zealous blow
One day Yamapi comes home and finds Massu there, eating all of his food. “He’s from the Masuda family,” Reborn states, “He’s a hitman too.”
“He’s just a kid!” Yamapi protests, watching Massu shovel food into his mouth like there’s no tomorrow. In between bites he giggles to himself or says strange things, like “The world is mine!”
Reborn doesn’t react. “Aren’t you glad your family is getting bigger, Yamapi?” he asks, and goes to get some food too. Which means he promptly kicks Massu out of the way and helps himself to what Massu had been happily eating just now.
“There’s enough where you can get your own!” Yamapi says, berating Reborn on instinct.
He is ignored.
“Be…strong…” Massu whimpers to himself from the floor, fighting back tears. He pulls himself to his feet before also pulling out a giant purple bazooka. From his hair.
“He’s got a bazooka!!!” Yamapi shouts, but is, once again, ignored when Reborn sits down to eat like nothing is wrong.
As it turns out, Massu is a crybaby with some very interesting weapons; moments later, as the smoke from Massu’s ten year bazooka clears, Yamapi gapes at a fully grown Massu now standing casually in his kitchen.
“Hi, Yamapi!” Adult Massu greets cheerfully. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen the you of ten years ago,” he says.
Yamapi nearly passes out.
5. Ring of Cloud: The drifter that walks its own path
“Get to class,” the head of the disciplinary committee tells them, when he sees them loitering in the hallway.
“Sorry!” Yamapi says automatically, and moves out of the way as Shige marches through the halls with a superior look on his face.
“I oughta kick that guy’s ass,” Ryo mutters, and is already reaching into his pockets for dynamite.
“Maa, maa… he’s only doing his job,” Koyama says, and holds Ryo back. “It’s not something that can be helped.”
“Why don’t I help you get punched in the face?” Ryo snarls back.
“He’s right,” Yamapi agrees with Koyama, and hopes Ryo won’t reach for the dynamite or punch Koyama in the face. “Kato-kun is just doing his job ne. It can’t be helped.”
Which is exactly what Koyama had just said, except that when Yamapi says it, Ryo tends to listen.
Ryo sighs and crosses his arms. “Fine.”
Koyama smiles. “See? Even Yamapi agrees. It’s the same as when Ryo-chan sees Jun-kun right? What happens afterwards can’t be helped.”
Ryo glares. “Leave my brother out of this; you don’t know what you’re talking about because it’s not just me. Anyone would naturally get nauseous having to look at his stupid face!”
Down the hall, Shige whirls when he hears Ryo’s indignant shout. His eyebrows furrow severely. “Get to class,” he repeats, voice low, and Koyama hastens to push everyone into the safety of the classroom before Shige decides to come back in their direction.
A little while later, Yamapi jumps ten feet into the air when Reborn suddenly pops out of a hidden passageway in the classroom wall with no warning at all; he’s sipping cappuccino and reading Voltaire. “Wouldn’t someone strong like Kato-kun be a great addition to the family?” he casually asks Yamapi (who is now precariously balanced on top of his desk).
“Don’t do that!” Yamapi shouts, but just earns himself strange looks from his classmates.
6. Ring of Sun: The fire that brightens the sky
“Join the boxing club!” Kusano shouts at the top of his lungs, right in Yamapi’s face. “You seem like a TOTALLY EXTREME guy, Yamashita-kun!”
Yamapi blinks and already feels half deaf after hearing two sentences from the other boy. He coughs. “I don’t think boxing is…”
“DO IT!” Kusano urges, “Boxing is the ultimate sport, and we could really use a guy like you, Yamashita-kun. Don’t you want to train to become awesome?! We could…”
He is cut off abruptly when he is smacked upside the head, hard.
“Stop being annoying, you moron,” Ryo growls, “Pi and I are going to class.”
Kusano is undaunted. “Practice is at three, okay?!” he calls after them, and flashes a double thumbs up. “I’ll see all three of you there!”
Koyama laughs. “What an energetic guy.”
Ryo just acts annoyed. “Dumb jocks.”
Yamapi surprises himself when he chuckles a little too. “He’s just enthusiastic, ne.”
Right at that moment Reborn pops out of a nearby locker and scares Yamapi again; today he’s dressed as a European history textbook. “Wouldn’t a guy like Kusano-kun be a great addition to the family?” Reborn asks just like he did last time, and by now, Yamapi knows that he doesn’t mean it as a question at all despite the fact that it mysteriously sounds like one.
7. Ring of Mist: The illusion that prohibits knowledge of its true nature
“Well,” Tegoshi explains, and mind-controls Ryo and Jun effortlessly from across the room, “What I want is to takeover Yamashita-kun’s body and become him, ne. That way I can control NewS.”
Yamapi blinks as Ryo bears down on him, wounds bleeding horribly.
“You can’t just do that sort of thing, ne,” Yamapi says, but doesn’t know how he is going to fight such a strong foe when really, he still doesn’t want to be in NewS himself.
Tegoshi shrugs, smiling in amusement. “And you can’t fight me,” he says calmly. “I have lived through all six realms of the divine reincarnation cycle while remembering every single one of the skills I learned in each of them. My power is godlike.”
Yamapi swallows. “Oh.”
Reborn, as always, is unfazed. “What will you do, Yamapi?” he asks.
Yamapi looks around; he sees Shige lying unconscious on the floor after fighting Tegoshi despite his horrible injuries, sees Ryo and Jun having their bodies controlled as they advance threateningly on him despite their wounds.
He thinks of Koyama too, who is unconscious outside, and of Kusano, who was hospitalized because of this. He takes a deep breath.
“I guess I have to beat him,” he says to Reborn, even though he doesn’t know how he’s going to beat Tegoshi yet.
Reborn smiles, and the little lizard in his hand begins to glow just like always, except this time it gets brighter and brighter and brighter until Yamapi can’t see anymore.
“That’s exactly something a student of mine would say,” Reborn tells him, and then there is a brilliant explosion of light.
When Yamapi can see again, two pink mittens lie on the ground at his feet. He picks them up and discovers a single bullet folded within.
“Here we go,” Reborn says, and takes the bullet.
He promptly shoots Yamapi in the head.
When Yamapi defeats Tegoshi, Reborn doesn’t tell him that it means Tegoshi is joining the family as well.
8. La Famiglia di NewS
“I don’t want to be a mafia boss,” Yamapi reiterates, and will say it over and over again until the end of time. “It doesn’t suit me.”
Reborn ignores Yamapi (just like always) and smiles mysteriously; Yamapi can see the knowing upward curve of the baby’s lips from under the brim of his stylish hitman hat. “Aren’t you glad, Yamapi?” the mafia infant says casually after a moment, and leans back as, in the background, Ryo yells and Koyama laughs and Massu eats and Kusano trains and Uchi turns into Tegoshi and back again just to taunt Shige, who in general looks displeased that this ridiculousness is all happening on school property. “You’ve worked hard and made a good family.”
Yamapi sighs helplessly. “Yeah,” he admits after a moment, and decides to give up arguing about how he doesn’t want to be the boss of NewS for now. “They’re a good family.”
END
EDITS PLZ WTF SELF.
Universe: JE/News/Katekyo Hitman Reborn
Theme/Topic: NewS in the universe of Katekyo Hitman Reborn AU (i.e. a Mafia AU)
Rating: PG-13 for some swearing?
Character/Pairing/s: NewS, Reborn
Warnings/Spoilers: OOC, crack, AU
Word Count: 2,010
Summary: Yamapi doesn’t want to be a mafia boss.
Dedication: UM better not this time.
A/N: Okay this is not going to make sense to ANYONE because I think I am the only person in the world who is simultaneously into Reborn and NewS. BUT IN CASE SOMEONE ELSE IS, I realize the sheer ridiculousness of the Hibari/Shige thing, but the tagline that comes with the cloud guardian struck me more as Shige than anyone else when I thought about it in detail. LEAVE ME ALONE, he is totally at his own pace. It’s just… a lot slower than Hibari’s, okay? OKAY. LOL This is what happens when I have writer’s block and someone suggests that I free write.
Disclaimer: Not mine, unfortunately.
Distribution: Just lemme know.
1. Ring of the Sky: That which engulfs everything and is open to all
“But I don’t want to be a mafia boss!” Yamapi tells the strange suit-wearing child hotly, “I’m just a regular person!” To emphasize he points to his regular school books and his regular sneakers; those definitely aren’t the signs of a gangster. Don’t members of the mafia always carry guns and wear Italian leather?
“You have the blood of the First Boss coursing through your veins,” the child tells him, and suddenly has a gun in hand from out of nowhere, “I’m here to teach you how to lead the family.”
Yamapi blinks. “What family? There’s no one here but us, ne.”
The talking baby smiles. “We have to build a good family first,” he says, and levels his gun at Yamapi’s head. “With your dying will.”
Yamapi doesn’t have time to shout before the bullet hits him.
2. Ring of Storm: The turbulent gale that fiercely blows
“Tch, I refuse to accept you as my boss,” the new transfer student snaps at Yamapi without so much as a hello or how do you do. He looks Yamapi up and down, clearly unimpressed, and then goes to take his seat.
“See?” Yamapi tells the suit-wearing baby (who is currently disguised as his bento). “He doesn’t want me to lead the family either.”
Reborn ignores him and pitches an eraser at the back of the new kid’s head, hard.
When the new kid turns and glares at Yamapi, Yamapi almost wants to crawl under his desk and hide.
It turns out that his hyper intuition is right; he probably should have taken shelter under a table earlier.
“He’s throwing dynamite at me!” Yamapi says as he runs for his life after class, just in case Reborn has not noticed the fact yet.
“He’s challenging your authority as the leader of NewS,” Reborn tells Yamapi calmly, dodging the flying explosives in a way that makes Yamapi think he knows exactly what is going on, he just doesn’t care.
“I don’t want to be the leader of NewS!” Yamapi reiterates, “If he wants to do it then he can do it, ne.”
Reborn smiles enigmatically as the little lizard he carries on the brim of his hat scuttles into his hand and begins to glow. “With your dying will, you will defeat him.”
Yamapi wakes up five minutes later in nothing but his underwear. Ryo is looking down at him grumpily but with a vague sense of approval, and Yamapi notices that some of the nearby buildings have been reduced to nothing but smoldering ash. The two of them seem-miraculously-fine.
“What…”
“Let’s go,” Ryo says, shoving hands into his pockets shyly. “I think I’m supposed to be your right hand man.”
Yamapi blinks, “But I’m not NewS’s…”
He yelps when Reborn suddenly lands on his head. “Isn’t this great, Yamapi?” the baby hitman states, “Your family is growing.”
Yamapi watches Ryo glare suspiciously at every person they pass on the street as they head back to his house.
He sighs to himself.
“So this is what the NewS family is, ne,” he says, and starts to feel a helpless kind of acceptance about the whole thing even though he still doesn’t want to be NewS’s leader.
3. Ring of Rain: The merciful shower that cleanses the battlefield
Koyama laughs when he hears Reborn’s story, reaching out to pat the baby on the head gently. “Sure!” the tall baseball player says brightly, “I’d love to play the mafia game with you, little kid!”
As it is, Koyama loves little kids.
Reborn looks satisfied. “The family is growing,” he says to himself.
“We don’t need this baseball idiot,” Ryo snaps from the side, arms crossed sourly and glaring. “Aren’t I Pi’s right hand man? That’s enough.”
Koyama chuckles. “As long as everyone is having fun together it’s okay, isn’t it?” He looks ecstatic as he shoulders his bat, “Everyone, let’s be great friends from now on!”
Yamapi thinks that it is a good sentiment, but at the same time, he doesn’t think Koyama knows exactly what he is getting into here.
His suspicions are confirmed when Koyama looks around, still smiling, and asks, “So… how do you play the mafia game, exactly?”
4. Ring of Thunder: The one who strikes a zealous blow
One day Yamapi comes home and finds Massu there, eating all of his food. “He’s from the Masuda family,” Reborn states, “He’s a hitman too.”
“He’s just a kid!” Yamapi protests, watching Massu shovel food into his mouth like there’s no tomorrow. In between bites he giggles to himself or says strange things, like “The world is mine!”
Reborn doesn’t react. “Aren’t you glad your family is getting bigger, Yamapi?” he asks, and goes to get some food too. Which means he promptly kicks Massu out of the way and helps himself to what Massu had been happily eating just now.
“There’s enough where you can get your own!” Yamapi says, berating Reborn on instinct.
He is ignored.
“Be…strong…” Massu whimpers to himself from the floor, fighting back tears. He pulls himself to his feet before also pulling out a giant purple bazooka. From his hair.
“He’s got a bazooka!!!” Yamapi shouts, but is, once again, ignored when Reborn sits down to eat like nothing is wrong.
As it turns out, Massu is a crybaby with some very interesting weapons; moments later, as the smoke from Massu’s ten year bazooka clears, Yamapi gapes at a fully grown Massu now standing casually in his kitchen.
“Hi, Yamapi!” Adult Massu greets cheerfully. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen the you of ten years ago,” he says.
Yamapi nearly passes out.
5. Ring of Cloud: The drifter that walks its own path
“Get to class,” the head of the disciplinary committee tells them, when he sees them loitering in the hallway.
“Sorry!” Yamapi says automatically, and moves out of the way as Shige marches through the halls with a superior look on his face.
“I oughta kick that guy’s ass,” Ryo mutters, and is already reaching into his pockets for dynamite.
“Maa, maa… he’s only doing his job,” Koyama says, and holds Ryo back. “It’s not something that can be helped.”
“Why don’t I help you get punched in the face?” Ryo snarls back.
“He’s right,” Yamapi agrees with Koyama, and hopes Ryo won’t reach for the dynamite or punch Koyama in the face. “Kato-kun is just doing his job ne. It can’t be helped.”
Which is exactly what Koyama had just said, except that when Yamapi says it, Ryo tends to listen.
Ryo sighs and crosses his arms. “Fine.”
Koyama smiles. “See? Even Yamapi agrees. It’s the same as when Ryo-chan sees Jun-kun right? What happens afterwards can’t be helped.”
Ryo glares. “Leave my brother out of this; you don’t know what you’re talking about because it’s not just me. Anyone would naturally get nauseous having to look at his stupid face!”
Down the hall, Shige whirls when he hears Ryo’s indignant shout. His eyebrows furrow severely. “Get to class,” he repeats, voice low, and Koyama hastens to push everyone into the safety of the classroom before Shige decides to come back in their direction.
A little while later, Yamapi jumps ten feet into the air when Reborn suddenly pops out of a hidden passageway in the classroom wall with no warning at all; he’s sipping cappuccino and reading Voltaire. “Wouldn’t someone strong like Kato-kun be a great addition to the family?” he casually asks Yamapi (who is now precariously balanced on top of his desk).
“Don’t do that!” Yamapi shouts, but just earns himself strange looks from his classmates.
6. Ring of Sun: The fire that brightens the sky
“Join the boxing club!” Kusano shouts at the top of his lungs, right in Yamapi’s face. “You seem like a TOTALLY EXTREME guy, Yamashita-kun!”
Yamapi blinks and already feels half deaf after hearing two sentences from the other boy. He coughs. “I don’t think boxing is…”
“DO IT!” Kusano urges, “Boxing is the ultimate sport, and we could really use a guy like you, Yamashita-kun. Don’t you want to train to become awesome?! We could…”
He is cut off abruptly when he is smacked upside the head, hard.
“Stop being annoying, you moron,” Ryo growls, “Pi and I are going to class.”
Kusano is undaunted. “Practice is at three, okay?!” he calls after them, and flashes a double thumbs up. “I’ll see all three of you there!”
Koyama laughs. “What an energetic guy.”
Ryo just acts annoyed. “Dumb jocks.”
Yamapi surprises himself when he chuckles a little too. “He’s just enthusiastic, ne.”
Right at that moment Reborn pops out of a nearby locker and scares Yamapi again; today he’s dressed as a European history textbook. “Wouldn’t a guy like Kusano-kun be a great addition to the family?” Reborn asks just like he did last time, and by now, Yamapi knows that he doesn’t mean it as a question at all despite the fact that it mysteriously sounds like one.
7. Ring of Mist: The illusion that prohibits knowledge of its true nature
“Well,” Tegoshi explains, and mind-controls Ryo and Jun effortlessly from across the room, “What I want is to takeover Yamashita-kun’s body and become him, ne. That way I can control NewS.”
Yamapi blinks as Ryo bears down on him, wounds bleeding horribly.
“You can’t just do that sort of thing, ne,” Yamapi says, but doesn’t know how he is going to fight such a strong foe when really, he still doesn’t want to be in NewS himself.
Tegoshi shrugs, smiling in amusement. “And you can’t fight me,” he says calmly. “I have lived through all six realms of the divine reincarnation cycle while remembering every single one of the skills I learned in each of them. My power is godlike.”
Yamapi swallows. “Oh.”
Reborn, as always, is unfazed. “What will you do, Yamapi?” he asks.
Yamapi looks around; he sees Shige lying unconscious on the floor after fighting Tegoshi despite his horrible injuries, sees Ryo and Jun having their bodies controlled as they advance threateningly on him despite their wounds.
He thinks of Koyama too, who is unconscious outside, and of Kusano, who was hospitalized because of this. He takes a deep breath.
“I guess I have to beat him,” he says to Reborn, even though he doesn’t know how he’s going to beat Tegoshi yet.
Reborn smiles, and the little lizard in his hand begins to glow just like always, except this time it gets brighter and brighter and brighter until Yamapi can’t see anymore.
“That’s exactly something a student of mine would say,” Reborn tells him, and then there is a brilliant explosion of light.
When Yamapi can see again, two pink mittens lie on the ground at his feet. He picks them up and discovers a single bullet folded within.
“Here we go,” Reborn says, and takes the bullet.
He promptly shoots Yamapi in the head.
When Yamapi defeats Tegoshi, Reborn doesn’t tell him that it means Tegoshi is joining the family as well.
8. La Famiglia di NewS
“I don’t want to be a mafia boss,” Yamapi reiterates, and will say it over and over again until the end of time. “It doesn’t suit me.”
Reborn ignores Yamapi (just like always) and smiles mysteriously; Yamapi can see the knowing upward curve of the baby’s lips from under the brim of his stylish hitman hat. “Aren’t you glad, Yamapi?” the mafia infant says casually after a moment, and leans back as, in the background, Ryo yells and Koyama laughs and Massu eats and Kusano trains and Uchi turns into Tegoshi and back again just to taunt Shige, who in general looks displeased that this ridiculousness is all happening on school property. “You’ve worked hard and made a good family.”
Yamapi sighs helplessly. “Yeah,” he admits after a moment, and decides to give up arguing about how he doesn’t want to be the boss of NewS for now. “They’re a good family.”
END
EDITS PLZ WTF SELF.