If its not one thing...
So after finally getting somewhere with finding a place and feeling much better knowing that Tina's going to buy somewhere and rent it to us, now the job centre have stopped my claim because i missed my appointment yesterday. One fucking appoijntment, and its something that doesn't really matter because 2 weeks from now i'll be entitled to maternity pay, and they've cancelled my fucking payments. so now i've got to fill in a reclaim form and wait for them to process it and get back to me. I'll be getting a weeks pay up until last friday then they're stopping paying me. they will back date me to today but i don't know when i'm going to see this money and its all the money i get. I've got £25 in my bank at the moment, i was due for another £100 next wednesday, which i'm now not getting. dunno when this £50 or whatever for last week is turning up but then i've gotta wait fuck knows how long before the job centre will start paying me again. If its not one thing, its another, and i'm getting fed up with it!
I was so close to tears when i left that job centre this morning. i was walking through town taking deep breaths and blinking furiously to try and stop myself from crying in front of half of Canvey on my way to my mums, then on the bus home just thinking about it made me nearly burst into tears again. its like no matter where i turn or what i manage to get sorted out, something else is in my way and i dunno what to do anymore. i can't help it if i have a memory like a fucking goldfish! Now i can't afford to go see my mum as often as i normally do, let alone buy anything in preparation for the baby or moving until i know when i'm getting paid next. this is such a joke!
Even after cutting, i felt like i was in control somewhat of my situation, alhtough things weren't how i wanted them, i just had that one thing to deal with, now it feels like everythings going wrong because although Tina's said she'll buy somewhere we've gotta find something in the price range she's looking for first, and buying a house can take months, by which time i'll have had the baby. Now i've gone from having just enough money to scrape by to having no money, and Spooner's got fuck all cash atm too. ARGH! I just feel so fucking... ARGH!
I was so close to tears when i left that job centre this morning. i was walking through town taking deep breaths and blinking furiously to try and stop myself from crying in front of half of Canvey on my way to my mums, then on the bus home just thinking about it made me nearly burst into tears again. its like no matter where i turn or what i manage to get sorted out, something else is in my way and i dunno what to do anymore. i can't help it if i have a memory like a fucking goldfish! Now i can't afford to go see my mum as often as i normally do, let alone buy anything in preparation for the baby or moving until i know when i'm getting paid next. this is such a joke!
Even after cutting, i felt like i was in control somewhat of my situation, alhtough things weren't how i wanted them, i just had that one thing to deal with, now it feels like everythings going wrong because although Tina's said she'll buy somewhere we've gotta find something in the price range she's looking for first, and buying a house can take months, by which time i'll have had the baby. Now i've gone from having just enough money to scrape by to having no money, and Spooner's got fuck all cash atm too. ARGH! I just feel so fucking... ARGH!