(no subject)
Still not feeling good, not good at all.
I want a whisky. i want to stand outside in a sleeveless dress and have a fag and feel the cold wind against my skin. i want to be back at my parents house in Lincoln way where i used to sit on the window sil in my bedroom and smoke a fag out the window, where i used to put headphones in my ears an spend hours just listening to music, where my biggest worries were handing homework in on time and making sure my mum didn't see the fresh cuts on my arms.
I'm falling apart, again. five tiny cuts on my right wrist where i can hide them under my bracelets. i wanna cut every inch of flesh on my arms, my hands, my fucking face. but i can't, wouldn't get away with it, weather's too mild, too warm still to be wearing long sleeves all the time. not that any of my clothes fit me anymore as i've put so much weight on since being pregnant.
fuck.
I want a whisky. i want to stand outside in a sleeveless dress and have a fag and feel the cold wind against my skin. i want to be back at my parents house in Lincoln way where i used to sit on the window sil in my bedroom and smoke a fag out the window, where i used to put headphones in my ears an spend hours just listening to music, where my biggest worries were handing homework in on time and making sure my mum didn't see the fresh cuts on my arms.
I'm falling apart, again. five tiny cuts on my right wrist where i can hide them under my bracelets. i wanna cut every inch of flesh on my arms, my hands, my fucking face. but i can't, wouldn't get away with it, weather's too mild, too warm still to be wearing long sleeves all the time. not that any of my clothes fit me anymore as i've put so much weight on since being pregnant.
fuck.