(no subject)
i really wanted to cut last night. the only reason i didn't was because Faith was crying, then i bathed her and moiturised her and got her changed, and by the time i'd done all that i didn't wanna do it anymore. i swear i'm getting so fed up of this, its such a stupid cycle to be stuck in. one minute i'm great, the next i just wanna pick up a stanley knife and damage myself. i'm so tired of all this. had two fags this week, first fags i've had in about 6 months now. i just feel so worn out and its not just because of Faith. fighting these urges is so tiring. i can't wait for the day when can turn round and say "i'm an ex-self harmer" confidently.