I've realized now...
I've realized now that being taken advantage of is a choice. It's not easy, when you care for someone, to turn them away when you're conditioned to be as good of a person to them as possible and being completely accommodating. And I don't want to lose that quality. I want to be reliable and faithful and even a little predictable, as long as it benefits the people I love.
However, now when I think about someone using that knowledge to further their own well-being in a way that disregards my own feelings, it really upsets me. Everything is a two-way street: I can't just be an ego boost or a whipping boy... I need to be appreciated, too. I don't mind listening, giving compliments, doing favors, running errands, or buying surprises for important people... in fact, I ENJOY doing those things. It's not something I want to stop doing because every time someone sees what it can be like for me to look after (or sometimes even blindly devote myself to) them, they can take, but never give or meet me halfway. It hurts more than I can even put into words, and I'm really hoping it's not something I end up losing people over.
I have to believe that if it comes down to that, it will be better in the long run, but... does it kill a girl to be optimistic?
However, now when I think about someone using that knowledge to further their own well-being in a way that disregards my own feelings, it really upsets me. Everything is a two-way street: I can't just be an ego boost or a whipping boy... I need to be appreciated, too. I don't mind listening, giving compliments, doing favors, running errands, or buying surprises for important people... in fact, I ENJOY doing those things. It's not something I want to stop doing because every time someone sees what it can be like for me to look after (or sometimes even blindly devote myself to) them, they can take, but never give or meet me halfway. It hurts more than I can even put into words, and I'm really hoping it's not something I end up losing people over.
I have to believe that if it comes down to that, it will be better in the long run, but... does it kill a girl to be optimistic?