外国の国家 (Alien Nation)
It's been almost two weeks since I've been back in the US, and all I can think about is Japan. My mind wanders back to the streets of Yonabaru, to the beach, to all those times sitting in izakayas drinking metric tons of beer and laughing. I think about everyone I've left behind and wonder how they're doing. I think about all the awkward hugs and inappropriate conversations, the smiling faces of my students, the loud "Irrashaimases" shouted out every time you walk into a business establishment.
The thing is, while I was off in Japan living as Ron-chan these past four and a half years, everyone else in the US carried on. Some of my friends moved on professionally with their lives, becoming lawyers, doctors, directors in departments at large organizations, or managers within large corporations. Others found love. A few of my friends found new loves, got married, and/or had children. Then there are those who purchased their first homes and are worried about matching the carpet with the drapes (uh...) and the upkeep of their lawn lest their property values fall. Without me around, people also developed new relationships and strengthened their existing ones. I was out with two of my friends at Red Robin the other night, and the inside jokes were flying fast and hard during the two hours we were together. I must have said "What?", "What's that?", and "Who's that?" a thousand times, but nobody has time to explain the ins and outs of an inside joke. They're inside. And I had been on the outside for longer than I realized.
Maybe Thomas Wolfe was right. Maybe You Can't Go Home Again.