Doublemintの攻撃は結び付ける (Attack of the Doublemint Twins)
I was on my way to work the other morning, minding my damn business, when some random guy White guy on a bike started chatting me up. The only people who seem to be all about talking to strangers are usually drunk old guys or the people on Kokusai Dori trying to hawk their Okinawan omiyage, so I thought I must have known the dude. Using my Batman like detective powers, my brain identified him as JohnTom, one of the new JETs. But then he started asking me weird questions like if I liked Japan...and how long I'd been here...the answers to which he already knew since I had met him last summer when he was still an eikaiwa teacher. As soon as the dude started asking if I went to church and what kind of religion I was, I finally realized that it wasn't John at all. It was his Mormon doppleganger!
The Church of Later Day Saints has been trying to convert Japanese people to their brand of Christianity since the end of World War II. Not sure how they went about it back then, but these days you'll usually see two missionaries riding around on beat to hell mountain bikes wearing black pants, a white, short sleeve dress shirt, backpacks, and bike helmets, spreading out flyers full of LDS propaganda. The dude that started talking to me, however, looked like any other foreigner in Japan going for a morning bike ride. I didn't notice he hard a partner with him until it was too late...although I'm not sure how I missed the dude as he looked to be at least 6 ft. tall. Maybe he was casting a Mormon invisibility spell.
Anyway, I fucked up and was way too friendly, and now a Mormon wizard and a Mormon doppleganger have my phone number. They'll probably ring me up one day and invite me to a beach BBQ or something where they will bombard me with their beliefs. And they must be desperate for new converts, because last I heard Mormons were not trying to get Black people to join the church. Hmmmmmmmm...wonder if I should just throw my phone into the East China Sea and get a new number.
**The only religion I like is Zoroastrianism because Zorro was awesome