2つの車輪の地獄 (Hell on Two Wheels)
Biiiiiicycle! Biiiiiicycle! Biiiiiicycle!
I want to ride my biiiiiicycle! Biiiiiicycle! Biiiiiicycle!
I want to ride my bicycle!
I want to ride my bike!
I want to ride my bicycle!
I want to ride it where I liiikkeeeeeee!!!
That used to be some shit I'd sing at karaoke after an Orion and french fry fueled bender (those were the days). Now a days it's my life mantra. Tuesday I officially gave my final good-byes to my old, pseudo loveable, piece of shit car, and ever since I've been wondering what my next move should be. Every time I think about it one word pops into my head: donuts. Because powdered sugar helps power my thoughts. After that I think about bikes. It's not like it's unprecedented or anything. My homey and former student, Daisuke rides bikes in his Lance Armstrong nuthugging spandex all the time. My other homey and former ALT, Tim, used to ride his bike to work. Kids ride their bikes to and from school, and there'slways some old lady on a bike out and about doing old lady on a bike shit.
Bike Pros
-good exercise
-nobody's ever died in a fiery bike accident
-good for the environment
-doesn't use gas, doesn't get taxed, and doesn't have to pass shaken!
Bike Cons
-exercise makes you sweaty and smelly as fuck.
-possibility of repulsing all of my co-workers due to horrible morning BO.
-might be mistaken for a hipster douche bag from Brooklyn
What say ye, people at large? Bike to work? Keep taking the bus and walking home at night? Stop fucking around and go purchase my fourth car? Or just stay locked up in the house Howard Hughes style collecting jars of my own pee?