古くのおよび反抗的の (The Old and the Rebellious)
Life in Okinawa is akin to living in an alternate universe version of America. I'm sure you're all aware by now that people drive on the left side of the road here. Telling people that you drink 12 beers every day after work will not land you on an episode of Intervention like it would back home. Instead you're more likely to be revered as a hero and role model for future generations. Kids are always up to something, but it's usually a wholesome activity like sports, studying, or being a child laborer instead of inhaling whippits. Old people are both feared and respected, often living with their offspring in their later years instead of being forced into a retirement home.
Speaking of old people, them bitches is crazy. You see, in Okinawa (alternate universe America), people seem to start out conservative and then get all kinds of off the chain as they age gracefully instead of the other way around. When you're young, dying your hair brown or blonde is the wild and crazy thing to do. As soon as you hit 70 though the blues, greens, and purples come out. And then they start doing things they probably never would have dreamed of doing back in the day, like pissing in the street. And not even like off in a dark corner...oh heeeeeell nah. They be conspicuous as hell peeing in plain sight like, "What? Who's gonna stop me? You gonna reach out and squeeze my penis or something?"
Now why'd I get started on old people anyway...Oh right. Now that I work in Shintoshin I find myself at Naha Main Place a hell of a lot. And since it's the Christmas season and all, I've been over there doing hella Christmas window shopping. Little did I know that old people spend all the free time at the mall. Why? Because malls are unusually old people friendly. They can sit there all day parked in front of an electronics store watching a big screen TV, eating snacks and talking shit with other geezers. Tired of staring at a computer screen, I happened to be in this situation the other day minding my business and eating some potato chips while the old people around me blabbered on about whatever. This dude next to me was offering everybody some kind of candy...I was like, "Please don't talk to me, please don't talk to me, please don't talk to me." What happens? He shoves the whatever in my face and is like "It's delicious!"