私は選択する! (I Choose You!)
Y'all know Rich, and if you don't, you will. He'll probably be the last person you see before you die, because it'll be at his hands. Don't let the Jesus like beard fool you. This man is not on a mission to spread peace and get motherfuckers out of temples (that part was in the Bible...right...?). Instead, once he's completed his karate training and attained power most of us can't even dream of, he'll wind up laying waste to the land and starting a new world in his image. He's gonna be like that dude from Fist of the North Star that makes everything explode through punching. So if you happen to make it to old age, only to look up from your coupon filled magazine or uh...dialysis machine and see a grizzled man with an incredibly thick beard and rippling with power, don't say I didn't warn you.
In the meantime, though, Rich is using his powers for good. His powers of donation, that is. A few weeks back he was kind enough to bestow upon me his neglected Nintendo DSi. We've been inseparable ever since. It's got this nifty little doodad in it that has almost 200 games installed on it. I started off by playing Scribblenauts, then I moved on to things like Mega Man ZX, Phoenix Wright, Space Invaders Extreme, and Final Fantasy IV (which is even more amazing in this DS version than it's ever been). Now I'm obsessed with Pokemon Diamond. I hadn't felt the Poke-fever since I was a sophomore in high school, when catching them all was new and whipping your friends ass was the cool thing to do (via Pokemon battles). Now I'm in love all over again. Me and my team of neer do wells have been trampling across the land smiting Pokemon and forgetting names. Collecting badges and riding bikes! Why, I'm liable to burst out into the Pokemon theme at any given moment now. I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAAAASSSSSSSSS...By the way, take heed of the above photo and do as it says, K.