bad days
dear ana,
today was a bad day, me and mig were fighting because he says i want to hang out with him too much. i tried so hard not to, i tried to distract myself with friends, cleaning, internet, my pets, eveything. it didnt work. im too much in love with him. he says he loves me, but he doesnt want to be around me so much. i guess i can understand. but i still want to cry. because this sort of problem never started happening until i started gaining weight. 50 pounds in a year. he says he still thinks im beautiful and it doesnt bother him. but right after i started gaining weight he cheated no me, told me he didnt love me anymore, cheated on me again, i begged for him back, then he cheated on me again, i begged for him back again he said fine, then he never returned my phone calls. i got depressed and tried to kill myself. then i went to the crazy hopital and he hardly came and saw me...only twice, everyone else can everyday. the day i got out he didnt call, didnt come and see me, didnt seem to care. he said he did care and he loved me. but he never did seem like it. then a few months later when i was getting better, he seemed to be better, he dumped me. at a party. he said he didnt lvoe em anymore, didnt want to see me, he hates me, he doesnt want me to call him, he wants me to move on. i walked home and cried to my mom. but i didnt cut myself that time, i had been doing too well. but after that he saw he did love me and asked for ME BACK i didnt go abck to him. and we were really happy for a while, i was staying away from him seeing him once in a while. then, it happened he started to not return my phone calls, so then i did what i thought i SHOULD do, i broke up with him. he (as i said ni teh beginning) thinks im around him too much. and right now i jsut kno he's hanging out with amber, the girl he cheated on me with. and she is going to get so much pleasure out of it, he loves ruining my life, she thinks i like to ruin her's, but i dont. i'd rather be friends with her then us be enemies. but, noone can love an ugly hideous huge girl like me. ana, please, help me be strong so me and mig can be married and live happily. i want that so bad. PLEASE ANA!
i dont want to cry and cut myself anymore.
love,
Perfect At Nothing
today was a bad day, me and mig were fighting because he says i want to hang out with him too much. i tried so hard not to, i tried to distract myself with friends, cleaning, internet, my pets, eveything. it didnt work. im too much in love with him. he says he loves me, but he doesnt want to be around me so much. i guess i can understand. but i still want to cry. because this sort of problem never started happening until i started gaining weight. 50 pounds in a year. he says he still thinks im beautiful and it doesnt bother him. but right after i started gaining weight he cheated no me, told me he didnt love me anymore, cheated on me again, i begged for him back, then he cheated on me again, i begged for him back again he said fine, then he never returned my phone calls. i got depressed and tried to kill myself. then i went to the crazy hopital and he hardly came and saw me...only twice, everyone else can everyday. the day i got out he didnt call, didnt come and see me, didnt seem to care. he said he did care and he loved me. but he never did seem like it. then a few months later when i was getting better, he seemed to be better, he dumped me. at a party. he said he didnt lvoe em anymore, didnt want to see me, he hates me, he doesnt want me to call him, he wants me to move on. i walked home and cried to my mom. but i didnt cut myself that time, i had been doing too well. but after that he saw he did love me and asked for ME BACK i didnt go abck to him. and we were really happy for a while, i was staying away from him seeing him once in a while. then, it happened he started to not return my phone calls, so then i did what i thought i SHOULD do, i broke up with him. he (as i said ni teh beginning) thinks im around him too much. and right now i jsut kno he's hanging out with amber, the girl he cheated on me with. and she is going to get so much pleasure out of it, he loves ruining my life, she thinks i like to ruin her's, but i dont. i'd rather be friends with her then us be enemies. but, noone can love an ugly hideous huge girl like me. ana, please, help me be strong so me and mig can be married and live happily. i want that so bad. PLEASE ANA!
i dont want to cry and cut myself anymore.
love,
Perfect At Nothing