my mother ladies and gentlemen
on my birthday-->
susan: caitlin, I would just like to tell you that you look very pretty today.
mom: hhahahaha.
at lunch-->
me: mom, I told you we could just split it, i never finish what i order. I just don't eat anymore.
mom: ohhh god. your not anorexic are you? i can't deal with that right now.
later at lunch--->
me: oh mom, some civil rights group from texas keeps calling for you, they said your support them or something?
mom: (obviously annoyed) i don't support any civil rights!
and they say i'm a bitch.