Straight outta rehab...
I got arrested. Handcuffs, and all. I honestly felt like a criminal, and I looked around to see if there were camera's and this was going to be aired on 'cops'. Stupid, foolish girl.
He could use the money, and you could use the fix. I saw him before I even wanted too, and I knew he didn't have a place to sleep tonight. I also knew that I had coming looking for him. Why did I want to turn back? Why did I want to give up the main mission of my night?
You have nothing to stay sober for, nothing. Not you, not me. Especially not him. She was right, wasn't she? He would never even know. He is out of town for 3 whole days, and he would never have to know if I went on a 3 day binge. As long as I was sober when he got him.
Just put one foot in front of the other, be quiet, and get outta her quick. Oh, and give him a little extra. Maybe he can spring for a hotel and hot shower tonight.
*Cut to 15 minutes later, in a back alley. Doing my thing*
I saw the lights first. Fuck. What had I gotten myself into? What did you get me into? Hide it. Hide the stuff, you stupid obese girl. You are going to get caught, and they are going to feed you. Hide it. Now!
I did as she told me, because in the end I knew she was right. Looking back, I could have ditched it all together, right? Instead of shoving it down my pants for a later visit. Ahhh, good girl. You're finally thinking straight. You will need this later if you want to complete your 14-day fast. You need this, and me.
*14 days later, here I am. Sitting on livejournal, getting all of my words out, before I have even showered. Of course, in the moment-I listened to my anorexia, and I lost. Again. I should have just gotton ride of the stuff, and stayed sober. So much for Cameron not knowing. I'm slowly starting to throw everything down the drain again. I gained 7 pounds in rehab, and those need to come off. Quickly.
I wish I had more time to explain to all of you, the things that are going thru my head. The things that she has started resorting to say. As if I would disobey.
Mainly, I wanted to open up my stupid little hobby to all of you wonderful girls. A little fun fact about Mayhem: I am a book whore. I buy, read, and send 10's of books a week. When I say send, I mean literally 'snail-mail' them across the USA. It started when I was 13. I just decided one day that I wanted to share my love of reading and books with people everywhere. I know it sounds corny, but it has kept me going a lot of the time. I have sent nearly 5600 books in the last 7 years.
I guess after getting like 7 books in rehab, and reading Skinny while I was there, I thought maybe some of you girls would like first dibs on this book. And if you like the idea, you can keep participating.
It's really simple. I'll use the same 'rules' as I do with my other sites. The book will be active for 24 hours, and you can get your username in the drawing up to 2 times. You can message me that you would like to be entered or comment, (I only do this so that I cannot play favorites, with girls I have good relationships with). If you 'win' Ill let you know via message, and i'll have the book in the mail to you the next business day.
It will come in a package with a little notebook that travels with it, to track where it has been, who has read it, and comments (if wanted). All I ask is that you keep the book moving.
This is nothing weird or creepy, I promise. It's just a simple way to get to know someone of a better level, and share a love of books, and hey! it's free.
Just lemme know girls, I hope you are all well. Keep your chins up :)
Book: Skinny by Ibi Kaslik
Description: Holly’s older sister, Giselle, is self-destructing. Haunted by her love-deprived relationship with her late father, this once strong role model and medical student, is gripped by anorexia. Holly, a track star, struggles to keep her own life in balance while coping with the mental and physical deterioration of her beloved sister. Together, they can feel themselves slipping and are holding on for dear life.
This honest look at the special bond between sisters is told from the perspective of both girls, as they alternate narrating each chapter. Gritty and often wryly funny, Skinny explores family relationships, love, pain, and the hunger for acceptance that drives all of us.