Day Two: The DIANA Manual

[alltoseek]

Latest model from POB Enterprises: DIANA VILLIERS
Earlier models: STEPHEN MATURIN and JACK AUBREY

(If you haven't seen these before read at least STEPHEN's first.)

Comments

[fullofowls]

Caution: Bear in mind that your DIANA does not exist to entertain you. Your task is to provide entertainment for her. If you do not, she will find someone who will.

This shouldn't be a problem somewhere with an internet connection. Do these DIANA units come equipped with wifi? How about a youtube app? I think a youtube app would answer admirably in this case :D

[alltoseek]

I think DIANA enjoys a more... um, interactive kind of entertainment. Including multi-sensory full-body tactile sensations. XD

Thanks for commenting!

[sidlj]

Oh, I'm so thrilled to see another manual! *dances*

Ha! LOUISA WOGAN unit! So, so true. Well done!

[alltoseek]

Who wouldn't want a LOUISA WOGAN? Just as entertaining, and a little less... uh, high-maintenance. And what's the occasional spying among friends? :-)

Thank you! So glad you enjoyed!

Huzzah for a new model

[esteven]

I am so very glad to see this! I may not buy the DIANA model myself because I am pleased with my Stephen Maturin and Jack Aubrey models, which provide me with all the entertainment I need.

Still, I am thrilled to see that the DIANA model comes with such a lot of accessories. Would it be possible to order one of those separately? I think the object would be much appreciated. :D

Thank you so much :D

Re: Huzzah for a new model

[alltoseek]

POB Enterprises responds: We're sorry, a limited supply of DIANA accessories (a), (b), and (e) reserves these items for our customers who purchase the DIANA unit. However, we expect Arabian mares and driving teams are available from your local reputable horse-trader; and riding crops and carriages are obtainable from any comprehensive equine supply house. Thank you for your inquiry and for your loyal patronage of POB Enterprises.

You are very welcome!

[des_pudels_kern]

I will not giggle while in the office. I will not laugh while in the office. I will not grin stupidly while in the office. I will not choke on my tea while in the office. I will not - Oh, whom am I kidding. *sits on chair trembling with suppressed laughter*

[alltoseek]

Now me too!!! Thank you!

[tootsiemuppet]

Caution: Bear in mind that your DIANA does not exist to entertain you. Your task is to provide entertainment for her.

DIANA sounds like my cat... XD

[alltoseek]

Umm, yeah? Let's see:
graceful: check
beautiful: check
athletic: check
sleek, well-groomed: check
self-centered: check
affectionate with loved ones: check
runs from danger: check
dignified at all times: check
intolerant of insults: check
plays with prey: check

What about DIANA does not remind us of our cats? :D

[fullofowls]

What about DIANA does not remind us of our cats?

I should hope the DIANA unit doesn't vomit up hairballs :/

[luthien13]

Also:
likes to play with shiny baubles: check
can really sink her claws into some people: check