Re: school
Another day, another letter from our school with another example of inadequacy.
‘Your son has been refusing to join in with several activities recently for the reason he found them boring. I’m trying to explain to him, and I hope you can speak with him and reinforce that message, that abstaining from boring activities is an unhelpful habit to have and will cause him issues as he goes through school and eventually gets a job.’
I want to tell the teacher that I myself was raised in the paradigm of putting up with boredom, and then spent half the adulthood unlearning this shit. I don’t want my kid to look for a job he has to endure. I want him to aim for work he can enjoy.
I want to ask the teacher if he really is prompting me to use threats of violence and homelessness to force my child to do something the school refuses to do. After all, the school teachers didn’t deign to go through the boring task of making their activities engaging for students.
But I learned long ago that talking to school representatives is a waste of my time. Unlike them, I do learn from experience.
Instead, I talk to my child.
I reiterate to him that he needs to try new things at least once before calling them boring. Just to make sure he is not missing out on fun due to lack of familiarity.
I explain to him that the word ‘boring’ is kinda useless as feedback. When he says something is boring it helps to give more details. What doesn’t he like about the activity? What makes it boring? This way he is giving his feedback - and he can see if the teachers choose to do anything with the feedback their students provide. If they do, he may get an activity he likes out of it. If they don’t, he is in his right to refuse the activity they didn’t deign to make engaging.
What I don’t tell, and never will, is ‘you have to learn to endure boring things’. I want my kid to actively look for things he finds engaging. Things that motivate him. Once he is motivated, he’ll know why he needs to go through the boring bits, if he encounters any. He won’t need me or the teacher or anybody really to force him.
‘Unhelpful habit’ my ass.
‘Your son has been refusing to join in with several activities recently for the reason he found them boring. I’m trying to explain to him, and I hope you can speak with him and reinforce that message, that abstaining from boring activities is an unhelpful habit to have and will cause him issues as he goes through school and eventually gets a job.’
I want to tell the teacher that I myself was raised in the paradigm of putting up with boredom, and then spent half the adulthood unlearning this shit. I don’t want my kid to look for a job he has to endure. I want him to aim for work he can enjoy.
I want to ask the teacher if he really is prompting me to use threats of violence and homelessness to force my child to do something the school refuses to do. After all, the school teachers didn’t deign to go through the boring task of making their activities engaging for students.
But I learned long ago that talking to school representatives is a waste of my time. Unlike them, I do learn from experience.
Instead, I talk to my child.
I reiterate to him that he needs to try new things at least once before calling them boring. Just to make sure he is not missing out on fun due to lack of familiarity.
I explain to him that the word ‘boring’ is kinda useless as feedback. When he says something is boring it helps to give more details. What doesn’t he like about the activity? What makes it boring? This way he is giving his feedback - and he can see if the teachers choose to do anything with the feedback their students provide. If they do, he may get an activity he likes out of it. If they don’t, he is in his right to refuse the activity they didn’t deign to make engaging.
What I don’t tell, and never will, is ‘you have to learn to endure boring things’. I want my kid to actively look for things he finds engaging. Things that motivate him. Once he is motivated, he’ll know why he needs to go through the boring bits, if he encounters any. He won’t need me or the teacher or anybody really to force him.
‘Unhelpful habit’ my ass.