Theme 46 - Fear
Title: Afraid
Author: ZionAngel
Theme: 46 - Fear
Rating: K+
Length: 585 words
Summary: There are so many things that scare her about this that even the length of the list is frightening.
For the second day in a row, she sits in her office, away from Tony, burying herself in work to drown out anything and everything else - well, trying to, at least. The two of them have barely spoken at all since he flew - God, flew - back to the mansion, in a suit that was dented and scratched and burned with a good half of the paint peeled off. The few sentences they have spoken have all been work-related. She hasn’t even gotten a single flirt or quip or bit of banter from him this whole time.
She’s as afraid now as she was in the shop two days ago. The difference is, now her list of fears is much longer.
She’s afraid of what could have caused this. It could be that his post-traumatic stress disorder (she knows he has it, there’s no possible way he doesn’t) has caused this, that this is some sick way to dispel his fear. It could be that this is just the same old Tony, his massive ego re-packaged and re-named, that this is just the latest manifestation of his arrogance and somewhat genuine belief that he rules the world. It could be that this stems from something deeper and darker that she cannot even fathom right now, but would be more frightening to her than any other possibility.
She’s afraid that this will turn him back into the man he once was, that he will break her heart by returning to his playboy ways, forcing her to be ignored as she fails to get him anywhere on time, after sending another woman away from the bed that he should be sharing with her. She’s afraid that now that he’s shown her the kind of man he can be, he’ll devastate her by destroying that man and reinstating the Merchant of Death.
She’s afraid of the impact that a billionaire masquerading as a superhero might have on the people he tries to save - or impress, or whatever the hell else he might try. She’s afraid of the lives that will be lost, of the problems that will be created rather than solved because he doesn’t know what he’s doing. She’s afraid of the kind of political and economic impact this could have on the company, the country and the world.
She’s afraid of the impact this could have on his mind and soul. She’s afraid that he’ll become obsessed and incapable of doing anything else, that he’ll become a depressed and haunted shell of a man. She’s afraid that it will break him like it’s threatening to break her, and that somewhere along the way he will lose the inner strength he has now, and neither she nor Tony himself nor anyone else in the world will be able to put him back together again.
She’s afraid he’ll be seriously injured, or captured again. She’s afraid that he will die from this, by his own hand or some enemy’s. She’s afraid she’ll feel that unspeakably excruciating pain again, the pain of losing him, only without the glimmer of hope that she’ll get him back when it’s all said and done. She’s afraid that neither her spirit nor her body can survive such pain twice.
She’s afraid to tell him all of this.
And perhaps most of all, she’s terrified to admit that she could be completely wrong, that some good - much good - could actually come from that suit, and the man wearing it.