This Fucking Sucks

[peppermintyrose]

Amen sister. Did it ever. I watched the finale of True Blood, Season Four - it rivalled The Borgias for pointless romance storylines to dumb it down for the deeply stupid people who watch television. I don't know who Alan Ball thinks are the supposed "smart people" for whom this is popcorn. Possibly Frito the lawyer on Idiocracy, when he's not '

Comments

[anonymous]

Yeah, last night I was on a plane with two tired kids and a husband recovering from pneumonia. Possibly that was more entertaining than the final of True Blood, I just...well I think the only way they can redeem it is if next season we just see Bill and Eric on the run, sniping at each other and stopping at small towns to help people while under assumed identities. I mean, it will still be total crap, but at least it won't be trying to be anything other than crappy TV and all the female characters can be totally disposable.

Back to the suitcases. Ugh. Might have been better if they'd just lost them in transit. Plus I'm still on Queensland time and kind of missed some sleep somewhere :)
Ooshka

[peppermintyrose]

I would be into that. At least if they're not going to work at all, they could have some excitement that way, instead of passing so close by work and not actually going in to have a look at stuff. They could be awesome vigilantes - like the Hulk, in a totally cheesy way.

And if they're together, they could have some great slash scenes where both of them get naked, and just before their mouths crash into one another's, they could utter "Only for Sookie" or whatever catchphrase they want to give, and the stupid suitor music could swell in the background. Fans would be happy, and Alan wouldn't have to write about all these females and how they couldn't fight their own way out of a wet paper bag.

Poor Ooshka. :(

[anonymous]

Yeah, it would so work, catch-phrases and everything. And every week you could just throw a whole bunch of new characters into the mix and if they want to run around in circles screaming, it doesn't matter because you know Bill and Eric will defeat whatever evil thing is there, plus find out some more about the huge conspiracy involving the AVL and the Council blah blah etc. Oh, and no one will *ever* be suspicious about the two vampires who just turned up in town (unless, of course, they're the plot equivalent of cannon fodder). Because, you know, don't want to attract the attention of the Glamour Squads!

Yeah, it was hard to remember to feed my kids at the correct times today. And being back to daylight savings is throwing me off, although it's nice when it's not light at 5.30am.

Earl would like a chicken on a leash, but a cooked one as he finds feathers a bit tough to deal with. He's obviously been starved while I was away and is feeling the need to stay within two feet of me at all time. It was crowded in bed :)
Ooshka

[peppermintyrose]

Lol at the running in circles screaming. The Council and the AVL make me laugh - each different vampire is apparently called a "faction" - which is in character with the book vampires. They're not doing well on the idea of pulling together as a community

[anonymous]

Aren't most of the 'community' busy doing Glamour Squad duty, anyway? It's not like you see them anywhere around, except for the times Silly Billy needs to give Marnie extra bodies by letting her have some spare sheriffs

[peppermintyrose]

Well, I'm thinking that's only 10-20 vampires - and you need more than that for a whole Glamour Squad.

It could be so classic retro 80's. They could get a talking Corvette and a horse or something. Russell would make a good archvillain, and Steve Newlin as his nerdy sidekick would be brilliant. And yes, the matching outfits - they've *already* got that vibe going! Lol at Hugh Hefner. At least he's old enough to be a Granddad with an ugly arse coat.

Lol at the questions you had to answer. Poor thing. And yeah - those ibis are so aggressive. They're not afraid of you at all. Not like the shy retiring Kiwi birds.

Oh Earl. He's always eating your food and taking your stuff. Yay for Buffy being the smarter one and having all the cat food in the house. :D

[anonymous]

Exactly, we must never see the other vampires because they're all poised to race out to be a Glamour Squad. They're just lurking somewhere

[peppermintyrose]

It's probably why Eric keeps telling Sookie other vampires will find out about her. The Glamour Squad must get tired of just waiting, and feel like some fairy; and then the rumour spreads like wildfire, and you've suddenly got 1253 new suitors. Whoo boy, the chapters on them? They could be every permutation of jacking it in the bushes and *then some

[anonymous]

Yeah, you can imagine with 1253 bored vampires sitting around the news that Ted found something tasty to eat would spread pretty quickly. But of course they can waltz straight into Eric's house in Bon Temps so Sookie would be a goner

[peppermintyrose]

Oh definitely - someone would follow Ted to see where he goes at night, and no True Blood vampire can keep a damn secret. All of a sudden, it's like there's a Maenad back, and it's party at Sookie's house. Instead of humans sexing on the lawn, it's vamps. People are jacking it in the bushes, and there's *still* blood all over the walls.

Lol at being like Niall. I'm pretty sure he's devoting almost all of his brain energy to that second job, which lawnmowing - I'd be down with that.

The counting was supposed to be like counting until it's over (because it was violent, non-consensual sex so that Lucrezia could be seen as justified for boning the stable boy) but the stupid director had her doing it *out loud* at the top of her voice, like she was counting thrusts. Lol.

Now I really want a Pukeko. I have a soft spot for hopeless creatures.

If he owned it, Buffy could lord it over him - after all, Amnesiac Eric is not particularly in charge of anything not even "Trying not to kill people".

[anonymous]

Pam would probably post a big sign at the end of Sookie's driveway saying "Free Fairy" or something. Still, it would be hard for Alcide to go and annoy Sookie if the lawn is littered with Glamour Squad vamps high on fairy blood and watching their hands move.

Oh God, The Borgias sounds awful. Glad I gave up on it really. TB probably has enough bad sex scenes in it for me.

I probably can't ship you a Pukeko, but how about Earl? He is pretty hopeless and has been cuddling me all night because I won't let him out to get hit by a stray firework. Still, I worry now that if you're that fond of hopeless things you'd totally fall for TB Amnesiac Eric and his act. He always just reminded me of my toddler, kind of cute and fond of inappropriately removing clothing. He just needed to shout "I a pwincess!" more often and the resemblance would have been uncanny. She kills less people though, mainly just startles them by shouting "Hello!" from the pushchair as we walk past.
Ooshka

[peppermintyrose]

I could see TB Pam doing that. And then going home to have a tanty when Eric doesn't praise her. And maybe Sookie could throw Alcide to the squad. Or he could nobly say he'll defend her, and still gets eaten.

The only bonus was the French King - Charles - he truly captured my heart, with his love for the cannonballs on chains. He made it bearable.

Lol - I probably would. I'd have to keep Amnesiac Eric on a leash though. Luckily, I might have a soft spot for taking care of them, but I don't want to sleep with them. So I'm safe there. He would be even more gorgeous if he yelled "I a pwincess!" :D That should go in the retooled Dukes of Bon Temps show. :D

[ext_456449]

This Bill and Eric show your dreaming up sounds like a fabulous mashup of Supernatural, The Pretender, and either Dukes of Hazzard or Knight Rider, and I would watch it in a hot minute. Of course, even if the format doesn't switch, I'll still watch, because it's too much of a train wreck to skip.

[peppermintyrose]

It would be most awesome. I bet everyone would still watch it and love it. Even if it was a total trainwreck, it would still be good for the occasional one liners and the naked menz defeating stuff.

[anonymous]

See this is the point where, if this were fanfiction, someone would say we could just change the names and publish the story anyway. Maybe we should change the names and try to sell the show to a network? I mean, the pitch would be awesome "So there's these two hot vampires, and they have a really cool car, and they save the world while sniping at each other and taking off their clothes!" I foresee about 10 seasons and many, many riches. You may even be able to buy your own Alpaca farm. But not over here. We're picky :)
Ooshka

[peppermintyrose]

Oh yes - that's too true. No need for originality when you can just change the names on an *existing* story, and work it.

Who wouldn't buy that show? It has cars for the men, vampires for the women, naked men for the women, killing things for the men. It would mean so many riches I could buy the entire Lesser Australia, so you could be more awesome. :D