Fic: All of My Maps Have Been Overthrown (K/S 5/5)
Title: All Of My Maps Have Been Overthrown
Rating: R, eventually NC-17
Summary: Written in response to this prompt at st_xi_kink_meme. Jim can bring one person back from death. He chooses Amanda.
Author Notes: Thanks for all of the feedback, guys! I don't have time right now to respond individusally, but I really, really appreciate it!> While this is K/S, it's not an established relationship. I'll post the entire fic by midnight tonight! The title is from Wilco's You Are My Face. Merry Christmas, everybody!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Spock’s announcement ricocheted through Jim, prompting every emotion from joy to bewilderment and even fear. Strange things happened to him all the time, but he couldn’t remember the last time anything left him stunned. But this was more than that. Shell-shocked might have been a better description. Had Spock just admitted he was in love with him? Or was something else happening?
“Why?” He finally managed. “Why do you believe that?”
“I have suspected for some time now that the bond has been forming between us. Your decision to bring back my mother has caused me to evaluate our relationship.”
“So you’re saying that this is the big sacrifice that makes you my t’hy’la? But Spock…I’ve risked my life for you before. What’s the difference between this decision and all those other choices?”
“You would risk your life for anybody on your crew. There are four hundred and thirty crewmembers on this ship, and every single one of them would fight for you because they know you would do the same for them. This is different.” Spock folded his hands in his laps. “Nobody would have accused you of being selfish if you had restored your father’s life.”
Jim frowned. “I know that.”
“Nobody would have expected you to make any other choice.”
“Spock…”
“But you did make a different choice. And I believe you did so specifically because you wished to please me.”
There was no point in denying it. “Yes, that’s true.”
“Jim, I honor your sacrifice and wish to complete our bond. If you do not desire that, I will understand, but you will also continue to be my t’hy’la.”
Jim wasn’t quite sure, but this sounded like a marriage proposal to him. Or, at the very least, the beginning of a very serious commitment. Just an hour before, Jim would have been ecstatic at the thought of Spock returning his feelings. The problem was, he had no idea if Spock actually returned his feelings at all. A small part of him couldn’t shake the uncomfortable thought that Spock was only acting out of gratitude.
“Do you love me?”
“Jim?”
“Love. Do you love me? Are you in love with me?”
“I do not know.”
Jim sighed. “That’s usually not the answer people want to hear when they ask that question.”
“I apologize, but I have no other answer.”
“But…how can you not know?”
“Because I do not know what it is like to experience that. When I was in a relationship with Nyota, it became very clear that she had certain cultural expectations of love and romance. She grew up in a culture where she constantly absorbed images, descriptions, and cues about romantic relationships. What was second-nature to her was very alien to me.”
“Is that why you broke up?” Jim blurted.
“I believe that was a contributing factor. When she told me she loved me, I could not return the sentiment. When I asked her to describe love to me, she could not. Vulcans do not marry for love. My father being a rare exception.”
“You love your mother.”
“Yes. But that is different from being in love, is it not?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know. I never really thought about it before,” Jim admitted.
“I have been thinking about it a great deal. I do not have an answer, though. Nor can I say I’m any closer to understanding. But I do know that I would sacrifice everything I have and everything I am for your sake. I would give my life for yours even if you were not my captain. The sight of you inspires a sense of wonder and gratitude that I do not experience with anybody else.”
Jim swallowed hard around the knot in his throat. It was growing larger by the second, sinking roots deep into his chest to wrap around his heart and lungs. “That sounds like love to me.”
Spock inclined his amiably. “Then I am in love with you, Jim.”
“Me, too. I mean…I feel the same way about you.”
Spock smiled. It changed everything about his face, lightening his eyes and softening the corners of his mouth. Jim’s heart raced in response, and he realized the smiles he had cherished before were mere hints of what Spock was capable of. It only lasted for a few moments, but a few moments of that was all Jim needed.
“You are willing to complete the bond?” Spock asked.
“I am. But first, I need something from you.”
“Anything.” The single word was so heavy with meaning that Jim knew he could literally make any request and Spock would do his best to comply. If he wanted the moon, Spock would find a way to make it happen.
“Stand up.”
Spock complied and Jim rose as well. He circled the desk and stood in front of Spock, toe to toe. Spock watched him without blinking, not moving at all as Jim reached up to touch the side of his face. He intended to ask for far more than a simple caress, but first he needed to satisfy the deep desire to simply test the texture and warmth of Spock’s skin. He wanted the privilege to touch Spock with impunity, though he knew his ability to do so might be limited. He didn’t want to paw at Spock and make him uncomfortable.
“What are you doing?”
“Touching you.”
“I see.”
“Does it bother you?”
“Not at all.” Spock touched the corner of Jim’s mouth with his thumb. “May I kiss you?”
“Spock, the answer to that question is always yes.”
“Is that an example of your typical hyperbole?”
“No, not at all. You don’t ever need to ask. The answer won’t change.”
“Yes, sir.”
Spock was just a hair taller than him, and he hooked his finger under Jim’s chin to angle his mouth. Their eyes caught and held, and Jim’s stomach tightened. It had been a long, long time since anybody had kissed him. Partially due to lack of opportunity, and partially due to the fact that Jim never met anybody who could hold his attention. Romantic relationships had never been a priority, and they became even less of one after they gave him his ship.
The kiss was chaste at first. Close-lipped and soft. Spock smelled wonderful, and his lips were smooth and soft. Something surged inside of him, like the ocean breaking over rocks. He parted his lips first, and Spock immediately took advantage of that, his tongue gently easing into Jim’s mouth. The prolonged contact made his legs feel weak, and he wrapped his arm around Spock’s waist, pulling him closer and holding himself up at the same time.
The kiss went on and on, and Jim wasn’t really surprised. Spock was good at everything he did. Why wouldn’t that include kissing? Before long, Jim forgot there had ever been a time when they didn’t kiss. He forgot about his doubts, about the sleepless lines spent agonizing over Spock. He forgot about his fears and insecurities. But he didn’t forget about the word Spock had taught him. It echoed in his brain, its meaning and implications sinking through the levels of his consciousness.
When they finally broke apart, Jim felt more than a little lightheaded. His throat was dry and his cock was hard, and standing that close to Spock was a wonderful sort of torture. “What do you need to do to complete the bond you mentioned?”
“A mind meld. But we do not need to do that right now. We can wait until you’ve had a chance to think about it.”
“I don’t need to think about it, Spock. Well, I don’t need to think about it more than I have been for the past three years.”
“Three years?”
“Almost three years.”
“I was not aware, Jim.”
“That means I was doing something right, I guess. I didn’t want you to know.”
“Why not?”
“I…it’s not important, Spock. I want you to do the meld.”
“I can’t take it back once it is completed,” Spock warned. “We’ll always be connected. No matter what happens to us. If Starfleet sees fit to assign us to different ships, we will still be connected, even if we are on opposite sides of the galaxy. Should you wish to marry and start a family, the bond will still exist.”
“I understand. You’re not trying to talk me out of it, are you?”
“No. I only want to make sure you understand. The bond will even continue beyond death. If anything were to happen to me, you would feel that absence. Like a part of yourself is missing.”
“Spock, if anything happened to you, I’d already feel that way. Besides…” Jim grinned. “I’ll just have to find a way to bring you back. Apparently, that’s possible.”
“Very well. It might be more comfortable for you to sit.”
“I’ll do you one better.” He took Spock’s hand and led him to the bed. He sat on the edge, and Spock gently pushed on his shoulder until he was lying flat on his back. Spock straddled his hips, and the pressure against his groin made him ache. He almost wanted to forget all about the mind meld and just tell Spock to take all his clothes off. Almost.
Spock did surprise him by catching the hem of Jim’s shirt and pulling it over his head. He smoothed his hands over Jim’s bare skin, running his fingers up and down his torso. At first, the touch was so light it almost tickled. But as Spock continued, he increased the pressure incrementally until Jim felt like his skin was burning. He was flushed everywhere that Spock touched, and his heart hammered a hard tattoo against his ribs. He thought about asking Spock just what he was doing, but then realized he didn’t really care about the answer.
Jim tried to watch, but eventually, his eyes were too heavy to keep open. It was almost as if Spock’s touch hypnotized him. He felt himself simultaneously drifting from his body and becoming more aware of Spock’s weight on his thighs. Then he felt Spock’s light fingers on either side of his neck, just below his ears. His forefingers flexed slightly, applying a trace amount of pressure. Jim’s entire body instantly went limp.
“What are you doing to me?” He murmured thickly, each word coming at a great cost.
“I am using certain pressure points to aid in your relaxation.”
“If I were any more relaxed, I’d melt into the bed.”
His middle fingers flexed next and pleasure sliced through him from his throat to his cock. It was instantaneous and overwhelming, hot and cold at the same time. It didn’t fade, either. Pleasure continued to thrum through his veins, in a low, steady ache, brightly flaring to life each time Spock adjusted the pressure. Jim’s balls pulled tight to his body, and he realized distantly that it would take nothing more than a brush of contact across his cock to make him explode. Hell, who was he kidding? If Spock would just rock against him he would explode.
When Spock finally applied his ring fingers, everything inside of Jim froze and pulled tight. The base of his spine tingled, as did the back of his neck, and the bottom of his feet. His brain stopped working. There were too many endorphins flooding through his system for higher thought, and Jim recognized the feeling well. It was the same rush he felt on a free dive, or driving fast, or in the clutches of a fierce battle. It was the moment when the world narrowed to a single fixed point just before an orgasm. Except, it went on endlessly. On and on and on. He would have writhed and twisted with frustration, but Spock’s weight kept him from moving. He wouldn’t be able to survive the torment for long. How could he? How could anybody? The human body simply wasn’t built to withstand it.
Jim opened his mouth to beg for his relief, but no sound escape. Not even a whisper. Not even to voice a warning that he was going to break. That he needed to stop and breathe and move and cum or he was going to shatter.
His eyes fluttered open and Spock’s face was much closer. At some point, he had bent at the waist, and now his lips were in kissing distance. Jim wanted to kiss him, but he couldn’t even lift his head an inch. All voluntary motor control had been lost, and there was simply no tension in his muscles. He was caught in the inky darkness of Spock’s eyes, trapped there, drowning there. They might have been frozen like that for a minute or an hour, for a second or a year. The only way to mark time was by the rapid beating of his heart, and he couldn’t even feel that anymore.
Spock’s right hand drifted up, over Jim’s jaw, until his fingers were placed over his face. Despite the loss of pressure on his neck, wave after wave of pleasure still crashed through him. An endless chain, an endless echo. He just needed one more push. Or maybe he needed to be released from Spock’s hold. Maybe there was no relief to be had. Jim felt like he was trapped, a prisoner, bound to the bed with the thickest ropes. If he could have, he would have pled. He would have begged. He would have sobbed for relief.
Jim had experienced a mind meld before, and he knew to expect the subtle push on his mind. But this was not a subtle push. As soon as Spock’s mind touched his, there was an explosion of light. Everything burst at the same time. He felt his cock jerk and erupt, felt the sticky come catch on his pants and skin. He barely noticed it. He felt himself falling and flying, flung far from Spock and cradled close to him. The orgasm that ripped through him was echoed into Spock and then back through Jim. It happened again and again, until the same wave of pleasure must have echoed through him a dozen times.
When that first crash of pleasure finally faded, a thousand other emotions that Jim didn’t have names for rushed to fill him. It was like he woke to a spectrum of colors he had never witnessed before.. He didn’t just feel Spock pressed against his chest or holding him to the bed, he felt him everywhere. He felt Spock in every cell and heard him in every thought. The lines of their bodies blurred and bled together and finally Jim just felt at peace.
Spock?
I am here.
There was more to be said. There were explanations and declarations and questions. But it was all so inconsequential. What more needed to be said between two people who seemed to be attached at the very soul? No, not the soul. What had Spock called it? The katra. Now his katra would always have a piece of Spock’s, and Spock would always have a piece of his. Nothing could change that, Jim realized. Not even death could rend the bond they had created. They were entwined. Connected. Perfected.
Through the haze, he felt Spock’s lips move against his. He responded to the soft kiss automatically, his mouth parting in silent invitation. They traded kisses as easily as they drifted in and out of each other’s minds. Jim wasn’t sure if Spock was keeping anything from him, but he knew that his entire life was open, from his most obvious desires to the darkest secrets and blackest moments that he had never shared with anybody. They belonged to Spock now, too, and he knew they would be safe there.
Jim couldn’t mark the exact moment the meld ended. It was a gradual drift until he was alone again. He could open his eyes, and the pressure around his chest was gone. Jim though he could probably speak if he wanted to. He didn’t. He just wanted to lay there and look at Spock.
“I hope that was an agreeable experience, Captain.”
Jim nodded mutely.
“I did not overwhelm you, did I?” Spock frowned, clearly concerned. “I did my best to…”
“Spock.”
“Yes?”
“It was perfect. Lay down here with me.”
“Are you tired?”
Jim had thought so, until Spock actually asked the question. Then he realized that he wasn’t exhausted at all. In fact, he felt rather refreshed.
“No, but I’d still like you to lay with me. If you wouldn’t mind.”
Spock nodded and settled at Jim’s side. “You have a remarkable mind.”
“Coming from you, I’ll take that as a compliment.” Jim licked his lips. “T’hy’la. Am I pronouncing that right?”
“Yes.”
“Will you teach me more about Vulcan tradition?”
“If you wish to learn.”
“I do. But not right now. I have other plans.”
“What are they?”
“I need to shower because I’ve made something of a mess of myself. And then I’m going to do to you what you just did to me. I mean, I may not know about pressure points or mind melding, but I’m pretty sure I can make you scream.”
Spock blinked. “I do not understand how that could be the desired effect.”
“You will,” Jim promised. “Wait, you don’t have any other plans for the night, do you?”
“No. And if I had plans, I would cancel them.”
“Do you think we just wasted the past three years? Because I kind of wish we had done this sooner.”
“No, I do not believe that time was wasted. I believe this happened when it was meant to.”
Fate. Maybe Spock was right and they were fated. Jim didn’t know. Even after everything that the two of them had been through together, he still didn’t know if he believed in fate. But perhaps Spock was right. Perhaps they had always been destined for each other and now they had a lifetime to fulfill that destiny.
The End.
Rating: R, eventually NC-17
Summary: Written in response to this prompt at st_xi_kink_meme. Jim can bring one person back from death. He chooses Amanda.
Author Notes: Thanks for all of the feedback, guys! I don't have time right now to respond individusally, but I really, really appreciate it!> While this is K/S, it's not an established relationship. I'll post the entire fic by midnight tonight! The title is from Wilco's You Are My Face. Merry Christmas, everybody!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Spock’s announcement ricocheted through Jim, prompting every emotion from joy to bewilderment and even fear. Strange things happened to him all the time, but he couldn’t remember the last time anything left him stunned. But this was more than that. Shell-shocked might have been a better description. Had Spock just admitted he was in love with him? Or was something else happening?
“Why?” He finally managed. “Why do you believe that?”
“I have suspected for some time now that the bond has been forming between us. Your decision to bring back my mother has caused me to evaluate our relationship.”
“So you’re saying that this is the big sacrifice that makes you my t’hy’la? But Spock…I’ve risked my life for you before. What’s the difference between this decision and all those other choices?”
“You would risk your life for anybody on your crew. There are four hundred and thirty crewmembers on this ship, and every single one of them would fight for you because they know you would do the same for them. This is different.” Spock folded his hands in his laps. “Nobody would have accused you of being selfish if you had restored your father’s life.”
Jim frowned. “I know that.”
“Nobody would have expected you to make any other choice.”
“Spock…”
“But you did make a different choice. And I believe you did so specifically because you wished to please me.”
There was no point in denying it. “Yes, that’s true.”
“Jim, I honor your sacrifice and wish to complete our bond. If you do not desire that, I will understand, but you will also continue to be my t’hy’la.”
Jim wasn’t quite sure, but this sounded like a marriage proposal to him. Or, at the very least, the beginning of a very serious commitment. Just an hour before, Jim would have been ecstatic at the thought of Spock returning his feelings. The problem was, he had no idea if Spock actually returned his feelings at all. A small part of him couldn’t shake the uncomfortable thought that Spock was only acting out of gratitude.
“Do you love me?”
“Jim?”
“Love. Do you love me? Are you in love with me?”
“I do not know.”
Jim sighed. “That’s usually not the answer people want to hear when they ask that question.”
“I apologize, but I have no other answer.”
“But…how can you not know?”
“Because I do not know what it is like to experience that. When I was in a relationship with Nyota, it became very clear that she had certain cultural expectations of love and romance. She grew up in a culture where she constantly absorbed images, descriptions, and cues about romantic relationships. What was second-nature to her was very alien to me.”
“Is that why you broke up?” Jim blurted.
“I believe that was a contributing factor. When she told me she loved me, I could not return the sentiment. When I asked her to describe love to me, she could not. Vulcans do not marry for love. My father being a rare exception.”
“You love your mother.”
“Yes. But that is different from being in love, is it not?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know. I never really thought about it before,” Jim admitted.
“I have been thinking about it a great deal. I do not have an answer, though. Nor can I say I’m any closer to understanding. But I do know that I would sacrifice everything I have and everything I am for your sake. I would give my life for yours even if you were not my captain. The sight of you inspires a sense of wonder and gratitude that I do not experience with anybody else.”
Jim swallowed hard around the knot in his throat. It was growing larger by the second, sinking roots deep into his chest to wrap around his heart and lungs. “That sounds like love to me.”
Spock inclined his amiably. “Then I am in love with you, Jim.”
“Me, too. I mean…I feel the same way about you.”
Spock smiled. It changed everything about his face, lightening his eyes and softening the corners of his mouth. Jim’s heart raced in response, and he realized the smiles he had cherished before were mere hints of what Spock was capable of. It only lasted for a few moments, but a few moments of that was all Jim needed.
“You are willing to complete the bond?” Spock asked.
“I am. But first, I need something from you.”
“Anything.” The single word was so heavy with meaning that Jim knew he could literally make any request and Spock would do his best to comply. If he wanted the moon, Spock would find a way to make it happen.
“Stand up.”
Spock complied and Jim rose as well. He circled the desk and stood in front of Spock, toe to toe. Spock watched him without blinking, not moving at all as Jim reached up to touch the side of his face. He intended to ask for far more than a simple caress, but first he needed to satisfy the deep desire to simply test the texture and warmth of Spock’s skin. He wanted the privilege to touch Spock with impunity, though he knew his ability to do so might be limited. He didn’t want to paw at Spock and make him uncomfortable.
“What are you doing?”
“Touching you.”
“I see.”
“Does it bother you?”
“Not at all.” Spock touched the corner of Jim’s mouth with his thumb. “May I kiss you?”
“Spock, the answer to that question is always yes.”
“Is that an example of your typical hyperbole?”
“No, not at all. You don’t ever need to ask. The answer won’t change.”
“Yes, sir.”
Spock was just a hair taller than him, and he hooked his finger under Jim’s chin to angle his mouth. Their eyes caught and held, and Jim’s stomach tightened. It had been a long, long time since anybody had kissed him. Partially due to lack of opportunity, and partially due to the fact that Jim never met anybody who could hold his attention. Romantic relationships had never been a priority, and they became even less of one after they gave him his ship.
The kiss was chaste at first. Close-lipped and soft. Spock smelled wonderful, and his lips were smooth and soft. Something surged inside of him, like the ocean breaking over rocks. He parted his lips first, and Spock immediately took advantage of that, his tongue gently easing into Jim’s mouth. The prolonged contact made his legs feel weak, and he wrapped his arm around Spock’s waist, pulling him closer and holding himself up at the same time.
The kiss went on and on, and Jim wasn’t really surprised. Spock was good at everything he did. Why wouldn’t that include kissing? Before long, Jim forgot there had ever been a time when they didn’t kiss. He forgot about his doubts, about the sleepless lines spent agonizing over Spock. He forgot about his fears and insecurities. But he didn’t forget about the word Spock had taught him. It echoed in his brain, its meaning and implications sinking through the levels of his consciousness.
When they finally broke apart, Jim felt more than a little lightheaded. His throat was dry and his cock was hard, and standing that close to Spock was a wonderful sort of torture. “What do you need to do to complete the bond you mentioned?”
“A mind meld. But we do not need to do that right now. We can wait until you’ve had a chance to think about it.”
“I don’t need to think about it, Spock. Well, I don’t need to think about it more than I have been for the past three years.”
“Three years?”
“Almost three years.”
“I was not aware, Jim.”
“That means I was doing something right, I guess. I didn’t want you to know.”
“Why not?”
“I…it’s not important, Spock. I want you to do the meld.”
“I can’t take it back once it is completed,” Spock warned. “We’ll always be connected. No matter what happens to us. If Starfleet sees fit to assign us to different ships, we will still be connected, even if we are on opposite sides of the galaxy. Should you wish to marry and start a family, the bond will still exist.”
“I understand. You’re not trying to talk me out of it, are you?”
“No. I only want to make sure you understand. The bond will even continue beyond death. If anything were to happen to me, you would feel that absence. Like a part of yourself is missing.”
“Spock, if anything happened to you, I’d already feel that way. Besides…” Jim grinned. “I’ll just have to find a way to bring you back. Apparently, that’s possible.”
“Very well. It might be more comfortable for you to sit.”
“I’ll do you one better.” He took Spock’s hand and led him to the bed. He sat on the edge, and Spock gently pushed on his shoulder until he was lying flat on his back. Spock straddled his hips, and the pressure against his groin made him ache. He almost wanted to forget all about the mind meld and just tell Spock to take all his clothes off. Almost.
Spock did surprise him by catching the hem of Jim’s shirt and pulling it over his head. He smoothed his hands over Jim’s bare skin, running his fingers up and down his torso. At first, the touch was so light it almost tickled. But as Spock continued, he increased the pressure incrementally until Jim felt like his skin was burning. He was flushed everywhere that Spock touched, and his heart hammered a hard tattoo against his ribs. He thought about asking Spock just what he was doing, but then realized he didn’t really care about the answer.
Jim tried to watch, but eventually, his eyes were too heavy to keep open. It was almost as if Spock’s touch hypnotized him. He felt himself simultaneously drifting from his body and becoming more aware of Spock’s weight on his thighs. Then he felt Spock’s light fingers on either side of his neck, just below his ears. His forefingers flexed slightly, applying a trace amount of pressure. Jim’s entire body instantly went limp.
“What are you doing to me?” He murmured thickly, each word coming at a great cost.
“I am using certain pressure points to aid in your relaxation.”
“If I were any more relaxed, I’d melt into the bed.”
His middle fingers flexed next and pleasure sliced through him from his throat to his cock. It was instantaneous and overwhelming, hot and cold at the same time. It didn’t fade, either. Pleasure continued to thrum through his veins, in a low, steady ache, brightly flaring to life each time Spock adjusted the pressure. Jim’s balls pulled tight to his body, and he realized distantly that it would take nothing more than a brush of contact across his cock to make him explode. Hell, who was he kidding? If Spock would just rock against him he would explode.
When Spock finally applied his ring fingers, everything inside of Jim froze and pulled tight. The base of his spine tingled, as did the back of his neck, and the bottom of his feet. His brain stopped working. There were too many endorphins flooding through his system for higher thought, and Jim recognized the feeling well. It was the same rush he felt on a free dive, or driving fast, or in the clutches of a fierce battle. It was the moment when the world narrowed to a single fixed point just before an orgasm. Except, it went on endlessly. On and on and on. He would have writhed and twisted with frustration, but Spock’s weight kept him from moving. He wouldn’t be able to survive the torment for long. How could he? How could anybody? The human body simply wasn’t built to withstand it.
Jim opened his mouth to beg for his relief, but no sound escape. Not even a whisper. Not even to voice a warning that he was going to break. That he needed to stop and breathe and move and cum or he was going to shatter.
His eyes fluttered open and Spock’s face was much closer. At some point, he had bent at the waist, and now his lips were in kissing distance. Jim wanted to kiss him, but he couldn’t even lift his head an inch. All voluntary motor control had been lost, and there was simply no tension in his muscles. He was caught in the inky darkness of Spock’s eyes, trapped there, drowning there. They might have been frozen like that for a minute or an hour, for a second or a year. The only way to mark time was by the rapid beating of his heart, and he couldn’t even feel that anymore.
Spock’s right hand drifted up, over Jim’s jaw, until his fingers were placed over his face. Despite the loss of pressure on his neck, wave after wave of pleasure still crashed through him. An endless chain, an endless echo. He just needed one more push. Or maybe he needed to be released from Spock’s hold. Maybe there was no relief to be had. Jim felt like he was trapped, a prisoner, bound to the bed with the thickest ropes. If he could have, he would have pled. He would have begged. He would have sobbed for relief.
Jim had experienced a mind meld before, and he knew to expect the subtle push on his mind. But this was not a subtle push. As soon as Spock’s mind touched his, there was an explosion of light. Everything burst at the same time. He felt his cock jerk and erupt, felt the sticky come catch on his pants and skin. He barely noticed it. He felt himself falling and flying, flung far from Spock and cradled close to him. The orgasm that ripped through him was echoed into Spock and then back through Jim. It happened again and again, until the same wave of pleasure must have echoed through him a dozen times.
When that first crash of pleasure finally faded, a thousand other emotions that Jim didn’t have names for rushed to fill him. It was like he woke to a spectrum of colors he had never witnessed before.. He didn’t just feel Spock pressed against his chest or holding him to the bed, he felt him everywhere. He felt Spock in every cell and heard him in every thought. The lines of their bodies blurred and bled together and finally Jim just felt at peace.
Spock?
I am here.
There was more to be said. There were explanations and declarations and questions. But it was all so inconsequential. What more needed to be said between two people who seemed to be attached at the very soul? No, not the soul. What had Spock called it? The katra. Now his katra would always have a piece of Spock’s, and Spock would always have a piece of his. Nothing could change that, Jim realized. Not even death could rend the bond they had created. They were entwined. Connected. Perfected.
Through the haze, he felt Spock’s lips move against his. He responded to the soft kiss automatically, his mouth parting in silent invitation. They traded kisses as easily as they drifted in and out of each other’s minds. Jim wasn’t sure if Spock was keeping anything from him, but he knew that his entire life was open, from his most obvious desires to the darkest secrets and blackest moments that he had never shared with anybody. They belonged to Spock now, too, and he knew they would be safe there.
Jim couldn’t mark the exact moment the meld ended. It was a gradual drift until he was alone again. He could open his eyes, and the pressure around his chest was gone. Jim though he could probably speak if he wanted to. He didn’t. He just wanted to lay there and look at Spock.
“I hope that was an agreeable experience, Captain.”
Jim nodded mutely.
“I did not overwhelm you, did I?” Spock frowned, clearly concerned. “I did my best to…”
“Spock.”
“Yes?”
“It was perfect. Lay down here with me.”
“Are you tired?”
Jim had thought so, until Spock actually asked the question. Then he realized that he wasn’t exhausted at all. In fact, he felt rather refreshed.
“No, but I’d still like you to lay with me. If you wouldn’t mind.”
Spock nodded and settled at Jim’s side. “You have a remarkable mind.”
“Coming from you, I’ll take that as a compliment.” Jim licked his lips. “T’hy’la. Am I pronouncing that right?”
“Yes.”
“Will you teach me more about Vulcan tradition?”
“If you wish to learn.”
“I do. But not right now. I have other plans.”
“What are they?”
“I need to shower because I’ve made something of a mess of myself. And then I’m going to do to you what you just did to me. I mean, I may not know about pressure points or mind melding, but I’m pretty sure I can make you scream.”
Spock blinked. “I do not understand how that could be the desired effect.”
“You will,” Jim promised. “Wait, you don’t have any other plans for the night, do you?”
“No. And if I had plans, I would cancel them.”
“Do you think we just wasted the past three years? Because I kind of wish we had done this sooner.”
“No, I do not believe that time was wasted. I believe this happened when it was meant to.”
Fate. Maybe Spock was right and they were fated. Jim didn’t know. Even after everything that the two of them had been through together, he still didn’t know if he believed in fate. But perhaps Spock was right. Perhaps they had always been destined for each other and now they had a lifetime to fulfill that destiny.
The End.