Penultimate
So I'm on break for what is going to be my next to last shift - and I can't help but get reflective - I've spent over a year here and despite the drama and fights and garbage - well, I'm still not sure if it's worth it. I tried to learn from my mistakes, even made a few new ones - ultimately: the year went nothing like planned. Maybe cause I trusted the wrong people, maybe because I assumed people were as true and real as my Malibu friends.
Which I find strange because no other store I've ever encountered has been as dramatic as this one. Love and hate - it's like the ocean - minute to minute you can go from beloved to pariah by a simple turned phrase. I'm a theatre kid and even I find it exhausting.
Today has gone well enough so far. It still doesn't seem like the end is nigh - with me it never really does. Only if I think about - only if I really sit down and tell myself this is it. I imagine tomorrow will feel like any other day. I doubt I'll be missed much - not in like an emo way - but im pretty sure most people think I brought the drama to the store or it at least started with me. This is true only to the extent that I was the first to point out the lying and backstabbing. I was the first to question the work ethic if the morning and mid crew and I was the first to call out a girl for lying about me. That was who I was then - I was proud of who I was then - blame it on watching too much Real Chance of Love - but I needed to stand up for myself - something I wished I'd get back in the habit of instead of waiting for the end.
I'm told I have a new york store waiting for me - I hope. But something tells me it might not work out which to be honest wouldn't be terrible - one thing I do know for sure - this store has destoryed all the green apron pride I had back in Malibu
So in conclusion Season 21 was the best of my life - Season 22 sucked - Im hoping Season 23 can just land somewhere in the middle
*Hearts*
-Steven
Posted via LiveJournal.app.