I'm Okay trust me.. I'm NOT Okay

[pepelapew01]

today sucked!!!! there was a delay.. thats probly the onli gud thing.. i got to sleep 2 more hours!.. but then i get to school.. and the schedual is all fucked up! i was actually in a SEMI good mood this morning too! for the first time in a LONG time.. but now im back to being all pissy again.. :( .... but yea.. the schedual changed to.. 1..3..5..2..4.. that is the worst one they have ever made up! i didn't get to go to per 6 or 7 today! :( .. those r the 2 best classes! study on sum days or gym.. then MCAS there rly easy n fun.. n today i got all sucky classes.. lets see.. per 1.. spanish... i found out i have a huge test on monday... and she wun move it because of gay ass V~Day... but we played spanish BINGO.. which was rly boring... then IMP.. ((Math)).. we corrected HW.. and did um easy work.. .. but it took a long ass time... then waited for the bell to ring.. whic took like 5 min.. n then went to per 5 human Phys. but right b4 that i saw Paulie in the hall! he made me kinda happier... idk how but he did.. then durring human phys we got our tests back.. and i got a 63.. uh~oh! but if we correct them we get 5 X~Tra points.. so im def. doin it. so i atleast have a passing grade... and then we learned stuff about the circulatory system.. in which i learned everything we tlkd about last year. so yea.. then lunch.. was kinda good.. chilled wit RICKY.. Paul.. Sasha.. n Stonewall.. n Alison wasn't in school.. but yea.. chilled with them.. gave Ricky his 2 suprises.... n then back to spanish.. woo.. hoo.. not!!! i completely forgot that we had a HUGE project due today.. so i have to do it over the weekend... and just say a place i would like to live for a year.. and just write it in spanish.. so it will be easy.. because anywhere but Worc. MA is better than here! i ahte this place! but yea.. i learned more things that i learned lastyear.. but this stuff i had forgotten! lol.. but yea.. then IMP.. again.. but b4 that i saw Paulie in the hall n gave him a hug.. which made me a lil happier.. cuz i was gettin in a depressed mood... then in IMP we just did sum easy work.. n then sat there.. n i hickupped.. n Rachell n Kevin were both like "what the hell was that".. n then kevin kept on makin that sound sayin i shounded like a mouse.. lol.. then i left n got home.. n talked to Ricky.. but its not going to good.. :( .. idk what to do.. because i finally made the decission that i want to try it one more time.. and i wasn't gpoing to fucki it up.. but he just doesn't believe me.. and i want him to so bad.. and hes just like.. "well what am i supposed to do"... and hes upset that there is still a problem with me n him chillin out side of school... in which i told him that if we could spend time together afterschool. i would be with him EVERY damn day.. but once again.. he doesn't believe me.. and it really hurts.. but i just have to learn to deal with it.. but i just hope he does beloeve me soon.. so that we can finally try to be together aging one more time... and i know that he might not want to try again.. because i hurt him... but i promissed Paul.. AND myself that i wouldn't do that again... i can't... and i decided not to go out with someone else because i wanted to try it 1 more time with him.. and i thought that everything was going to be great up untill now... i don;t know what he wants frm me.. n if this is how hes gunna be then ill just say fuck it and not try.. but im not gunna yet.. im still gunna try some more to convine him that im being honset.. and that he should be happy that were even talking again... But i don't know what to do.... but that was b4.. i had saved this so i could finnish it later...and now im finnishing it.. hehehe... well im still really depressed.. but im hyper.. n its none of your buisness!!!!!!!!!!! but anyways... yea.. i think things r gettin better with me n ricky now.. were just talking about all of the problems that we did have... and how were gunna deal with them.. and all the problems we have now... so hopefully everything goes good!.. i wanna tlk 2 Paulie for some strange reason.. hehehe.. idk why though.. but w/e... 2 more days till Valentines day... i def. CAN wait.. i dun like that day at all!!!!!!! its cute n all but i just dun like it! its pointless.. but i probly onli think that cuz i have never had ne1 to be with on that day.. but im not sure if its def. that.. cuz i have never liked it.. but w/e.. nothing to complain over.. but yea.. now im tlkn 2 eileen about how me n john got into a huge fight n how im not tlkn 2 him... hes pissin me off so much.. hes such a fuckin hypacrit... or w/e u call it... but im not tlkn bout it ryte now... n after that i was cryin.. but not cuz of that.. i just had 1 of my breakdowns.. which wasn't good cuz im usually able to control them.. but this time i couldn't control it at all.... w/e... im not gunna bother tlkn about it... i was supposed to go to danielles today but she never ended up callin me like she said she was gunna... but w/e... tomorrow im goin 2 nikkis for the night.. so that will be fun.. n it will be away frm my house so that will make me happy! were supposed to go to the movies n see the boogieman... im scared..lol!!!!i love scarie movies.. but i hate seein them in the theaters... idk y.. its just a thing with me... so idk if im def. goin... but i kno nikki n timmy n his girl n sum otha ppl r suppesed to go... i gotta see if my mum will drive us sum how thou.. hopefully she will... but knowin her.. she'll say no.. cuz shes mean like that.. but right now shes at the store.. christian was supposed to cum ova to get his hat.. n my mum decided to leave.. but then he was still able to cum but he never showed up.. so ima yell at him! so yea.. i guess i have to bring it to school on monday n give it to him.. since im not gunna be home all weekend... so yea.. ima go n tlk 2 ricky n eileen.. n wait for my mom to get home in which wun be for at least another hour.. so ill tlk 2 u latas... MUAHZ!!! 3.2.1...
(~(~(~Br!tTaNy~)~)~)