A fic that needs a title

[pensnest]

This time, it's for the wtf27 Slave prompt.

Comments

[turps33]

I really enjoyed the style of this, though I was sad in the middle there when Chris just went.

I love the idea that he went on to make his own fortune, and eventually ended with Lance on equal terms.

>>>Lance was an endearingly ugly child, earnest, loving and polite.

That line makes me laugh each time I read it.

[pensnest]

It was quite fun writing this way - and I had to, because it'd have become an epic story if I wrote it 'normally', and I'm just not that invested in the 'slave' idea! Anyway. Yes. Glad you liked it.

[phaballa]

♥ "amalgamated their business holdings" INDEED.

This is really cute and I enjoyed it :)

[pensnest]

Good.

INDEED

It does sound quite rude, doesn't it...

[phaballa]

It sounds like an awesome euphamism for getting freaky :P

[musicboxgirl]

Hahaha weirdly enough that's what I thought when I read that line.

[darkseaglass]

This was so, so lovely. I love the rhythm and flow of it, and the simple understated elegance. These lines in particular

[pensnest]

Lance was a very comical looking child, I thought, so...

I see what you mean about that moment being rushed; I'll give it some thought before I put it up on the website. Funnily enough, the first version had a much amplified paragraph in the Lance part of the story, but that didn't feel right. Hmm. It's a delicate balance, isn't it.

Thank you very much for the feedback.

[turlough]

I really liked this! The way it's written makes it not so sweet as it would be if told in a more "usual" fanfic style. If you understand what I mean?

[pensnest]

I do, I think. I wanted to write it as if it might be a tale told to people long after it had happened, the sort of thing that had become a legend, almost. I'm glad you like the style. (Hey - you're still reading popslash! ;->)

[turlough]

I think I might finally feel like I want to read a little popslash again - which is about time 'cause I've got several stories bookmarked since forever waiting to be read.

[pensnest]

Excellent - I know the excitement of a new fandom, where you could happily spend all the hours you have gobbling up the fresh delights, but I'm glad we haven't lost you completely!

[musicboxgirl]

The story was very sweet. I do agree that the part where Chris leaves Lance seemed abrupt.
Great writing!

[pensnest]

Thank you! I'll definitely look at what I can do with that part, when I post the story to my website.