Nov 08, 2006 09:50
I sit on my bed contemplating where my life is going and where it has been. My hands tremble from the fact that I can’t change what has happened and now I have to live with the fact that I have done what I did. Introspection is doing nothing but breaking me down to a person who does not know what they are. Friendships can break down so fast like a snowball traveling downhill with nothing in it’s way to slow it down. It will come to a halt at some point, but it might be too late to do anything about it. I want to lie in my blankets and hide from the burdens that everyday life bring me, live in my imagination where everything always works out how it should. Why can’t things work out the way they should? Pain is always the bitter aftertaste that comes with the realization that the brief moments of happiness can not last forever. That aftertaste can last longer then the actual taste of happiness and the bitterness will just leave you disgruntled with the recognition of what had just occurred. These brief moments can only live in the memories of people and they end up making a generation of people who do nothing but wish that everything could have been different when they realize that they weren’t able to change the world like they had planned to. They wake up one day and it hits them in the head like a bag of rocks that they will not be remembered by anyone the day that they die and that no one cares for them but a few people that surround them. Then the realization sets in that it doesn’t matter if anyone remembers them because there have been billions of people on this earth that will never be remembered by anyone and it hurts to think in this pessimistic way and their eyes start to swell up with the tears of the time in life where they did not have to think about these things. All the tears this generation has can make a rain forest where a desert used to lie, but they will do nothing but sink back into the skin of these lonely people who get the nourishment that they needed after a few moments and go on back with their days as if nothing had just occurred. I sit here thinking of these things and knowing that nothing will change while I am sitting on this bed, nothing can possibly get done while I sit within the four walls contemplating these things, and it makes me sad to know that nothing can get done without action because if we act all the time we would never think, and thinking is where these changes spawn from. The world can just make things repetitive and the changes that are really needed sometimes never occur.