(no subject)
Last week I FINALLY got the results back from the chromosomal testing they did on the baby. Like, I know it probably takes awhile to extract and analyze DNA from a kidney bean sized person, but seriously. And then my RE's nurse called me with the results and I never heard anything from the hospital/OB anyway. I swear that place has gone downhill.
We found out that the baby was a boy, and named him Michael. I really kept thinking about that name earlier, but never discussed it because I was sure we wouldn't "be able" to use it since we both have uncles by that name. So since this happened, it seemed to be just right. Also, it means "Who is like God?" and that seems fitting. It just sort of reminds me of how God is in control of this whole situation, and I know He will bless us someday. Besides, Michael is an archangel, too.
He had a chromosomal abnormality called tetraploidy, which means that he had 4 sex chromosomes (XXYY). My nurse said that accounts for 2.5% of first trimester losses, and is not something that has a chance to reoccur. I am relieved that I have an explanation because it makes it easier to accept. I'm also really glad to hear that it was a complete and total (and ridiculous and insane) fluke, so I can have more hope that next time things will go right for once.
I went and got my pretty box to put the ultrasound pictures and a few other mementos in, like a letter I'd written once about how I was feeling and a really nice star pendant type thing my mother-in-law gave me talking about stars being our loved ones shining down on us to let us know they're happy--makes me cry every time I read it!
So with all of this done now, I finally have closure and feel like I can concentrate on moving forward. Which I'm doing physically (through with injections for this month and everything) , but I still don't feel right. I know it will happen with the passing of time, at least, and I'm also looking into getting into counseling.