New Charting for Goal-Setting and Rewards
We've been rather lucky, we didn't really encounter Terrible 2's nor 3's. But it seems we may have embarked on Friggin' 4's. Many things considered, Jana's pretty good. We hear that from other people. Always other people. When it comes to mom and dad, she's absolutely defiant and sometimes has physical tantrums.
Potty training charts worked wonderfully for us, and starting yesterday, we're now doing rewards charting. I thought about the concept of "sticker for every good action," but that doesn't address our issue. She'd get good stickers because of her good manners with everyone else but her parents?
I created a Rewards Chart, it's a PDF file shared on Google Docs. Here's a screenshot of the chart:
Days of the week are labeled across the bottom and the color bars represent milestones for rewards. Jana starts out each day with 5 popsicle sticks, she get's one warning for difficult behavior that if she continues, I'll break a stick. At bed time, we count the total number of remaining sticks and then mark off the boxes on the chart. When we hit 10 sticks, she can choose what we'll have for lunch or dinner. At 20 sticks, she can choose an activity like go somewhere on a weekend afternoon like the zoo or Children's Museum (where we don't have memberships) and at 25 sticks, a trip to either the Dollar Store or a toy store (can be the toy dept at a Target), $20 limit. Or perhaps a new DVD.
We'll adjust the reward milestones as she progresses, or monthly. Initially, it might seem like the goals are low, we estimate that it may take her 3-4 days to hit the first milestone, we want to make sure there are low-hanging fruit to want to do this in the first place. I also wanted a system that is portable and has a physical symbol (breaking a stick).
With much sadness, as something we never could have imagined, Santa did not stop by our house this year. And the cookies and apple left out by the "tree" remained untouched when Jana came running down Christmas morning. Santa's elves are sitting on several gifts with her name on them, waiting for an opportunity. We suggested she write a letter to Santa, she did respond, "but I can't, I only know squiggles." Darn cute. We said we'd help her. And maybe he'll reconsider.
Fortunately, she did get all 5 sticks yesterday. So there's hope.
Potty training charts worked wonderfully for us, and starting yesterday, we're now doing rewards charting. I thought about the concept of "sticker for every good action," but that doesn't address our issue. She'd get good stickers because of her good manners with everyone else but her parents?
I created a Rewards Chart, it's a PDF file shared on Google Docs. Here's a screenshot of the chart:
Days of the week are labeled across the bottom and the color bars represent milestones for rewards. Jana starts out each day with 5 popsicle sticks, she get's one warning for difficult behavior that if she continues, I'll break a stick. At bed time, we count the total number of remaining sticks and then mark off the boxes on the chart. When we hit 10 sticks, she can choose what we'll have for lunch or dinner. At 20 sticks, she can choose an activity like go somewhere on a weekend afternoon like the zoo or Children's Museum (where we don't have memberships) and at 25 sticks, a trip to either the Dollar Store or a toy store (can be the toy dept at a Target), $20 limit. Or perhaps a new DVD.
We'll adjust the reward milestones as she progresses, or monthly. Initially, it might seem like the goals are low, we estimate that it may take her 3-4 days to hit the first milestone, we want to make sure there are low-hanging fruit to want to do this in the first place. I also wanted a system that is portable and has a physical symbol (breaking a stick).
With much sadness, as something we never could have imagined, Santa did not stop by our house this year. And the cookies and apple left out by the "tree" remained untouched when Jana came running down Christmas morning. Santa's elves are sitting on several gifts with her name on them, waiting for an opportunity. We suggested she write a letter to Santa, she did respond, "but I can't, I only know squiggles." Darn cute. We said we'd help her. And maybe he'll reconsider.
Fortunately, she did get all 5 sticks yesterday. So there's hope.