Goodnight, me

[pendamuse]

I have a sleep tracker on my phone that tells me when to go to bed. It seems ridicu­lous, after all, I’m 41 years old and I’ve been going to bed on my own for quite a while, yet, any­one who’s just wanted to check one more email , have one more smoke, check one last seg­ment on late night, knows we only go to bed because the couch is too uncomfortable.

Even now, my alarm has sounded, I’m sit­ting here, want­ing - need­ing - to get this post out before bed. That’s what being an adult gets me - the inabil­ity to lis­ten to com­mon sense because I’m the boss of me!

My Go To Bed alarm sounds like a thun­der­storm and like most of my alarms, it gets louder the longer it’s allowed to alert. I could leave it and lis­ten to it get louder and louder, get­ting lost in the rum­ble, but it both­ers the cat, and D would only take to remind­ing me every 10 sec­onds that it’s time for bed. You can’t be the boss of you when some­one is remind­ing you you’re not really the boss.

My week­end was social, my time was relax­ing. My dad stopped by and we found com­mon ground in research. My hair is clean, I had a most relax­ing bath. There is no other rea­son for me to fight sleep. I don’t feel like I left any­thing undone.

This alarm, this thun­der isn’t ush­er­ing me to the shel­ter of sleep to pick up again when the skies are less threat­en­ing, leav­ing con­ver­sa­tions unfin­ished and food uneaten.

This is the thun­der of a dri­ving, cleans­ing rain, wash­ing every­thing clean for a new week. As I check for the tenth time for typos in this post, eas­ily less than 330 words, I am ready for that pil­low, the down com­forter, the oblivion.

So here’s my app, thun­der­ing and flash­ing. This week will be long and cold, and I need my rest.

Sleep as Android App