Question #5
5) Why is granting forgiveness to yourself so hard? What do you gain from not forgiving yourself and what are you losing out on?
Is it easier to ask for forgiveness from someone else than it is to forgive yourself? I guess at the crux of it, if you know you haven't been as good a person as you should be and with all the guilt, doubt, fear, and shame that goes with it, it becomes a matter of do you deserve forgiveness and if that answer is no, then you don't forgive yourself and all that junk sits there, accumulating. Is there a path to forgiving oneself? I've read that if you wronged someone, ask for forgiveness. I've also read that even if someone wronged you, that you should forgive them. For example, do I go to someone from an old relationship that I know I wronged her and dredge it up just to get release from that burden? Maybe they moved on, don't care about it anymore, and now you threw it all up again. I know I've been screwed over in relationships in the past and I didn't have the guts to say so to them. Do I bring that up and tell them, hey, you know, you did this to me but I forgive you after the fact? Almost like, is there a statute of limitations on forgiveness?
I guess forgiving yourself is an acknowledgement that you have come to terms with all the crap you made for yourself. I don't know if I'm there yet. There is so much crap that I created during my existence. I think I answered my own question that it is easier to forgive someone else because you don't have to look inside yourself, comes to grips with yourself, and forgive yourself. Honestly, there isn't anything to gain. In essence, you are continuing to beat yourself up rather than forgive yourself, rinse, and repeat. I think if you get it in hand and forgive yourself, you won't be losing out on life by being caught up in self-defeating morass which drags you and everyone around you down. I have a lot to live for, a lot that is good, and to carry a cloud around just blinds me to all that. If the Lord can forgive me and love me, there isn't a reason I can't forgive myself and return that love to Him and everyone around me.
Is it easier to ask for forgiveness from someone else than it is to forgive yourself? I guess at the crux of it, if you know you haven't been as good a person as you should be and with all the guilt, doubt, fear, and shame that goes with it, it becomes a matter of do you deserve forgiveness and if that answer is no, then you don't forgive yourself and all that junk sits there, accumulating. Is there a path to forgiving oneself? I've read that if you wronged someone, ask for forgiveness. I've also read that even if someone wronged you, that you should forgive them. For example, do I go to someone from an old relationship that I know I wronged her and dredge it up just to get release from that burden? Maybe they moved on, don't care about it anymore, and now you threw it all up again. I know I've been screwed over in relationships in the past and I didn't have the guts to say so to them. Do I bring that up and tell them, hey, you know, you did this to me but I forgive you after the fact? Almost like, is there a statute of limitations on forgiveness?
I guess forgiving yourself is an acknowledgement that you have come to terms with all the crap you made for yourself. I don't know if I'm there yet. There is so much crap that I created during my existence. I think I answered my own question that it is easier to forgive someone else because you don't have to look inside yourself, comes to grips with yourself, and forgive yourself. Honestly, there isn't anything to gain. In essence, you are continuing to beat yourself up rather than forgive yourself, rinse, and repeat. I think if you get it in hand and forgive yourself, you won't be losing out on life by being caught up in self-defeating morass which drags you and everyone around you down. I have a lot to live for, a lot that is good, and to carry a cloud around just blinds me to all that. If the Lord can forgive me and love me, there isn't a reason I can't forgive myself and return that love to Him and everyone around me.