Ficlet: The Group of Beloved Female Characters Who Got Screwed in the End
When I solicited drabble and five things prompts the other day, runawaynun asked for "a group session for kickass female characters abused by canon." It's a cracky kind of request, and this is a cracky, bitchy, and entirely self-indulgent response.
Summary: Dana Scully, Aeryn Sun, Elizabeth Weir, and Kathryn Janeway watch "Islanded in a Stream of Fail."
Disclaimer: I included a small piece of dialogue from the episode in question. It's in italics, so hopefully it will be easy to skip for anyone who finds that sort of thing triggery.
(If you don't know what I'm talking about, context here. That post also includes the same piece of unfortunate dialogue.)
For runawaynun, and also for chaila43 and beccatoria.
"Oh god," Kathryn said, "pass me the wine. I'm going to need more if this is an episode with too many 'reading in sickbay' scenes."
"It was kind of sweet the first time," Dana admitted, "but it's starting to get out of control. And I'm getting nervous about where they might be headed with this relationship. Why does characterization so often go out the window when romance gets involved?"
Elizabeth suppressed a giggle. "Remember that email that Mulder addressed to 'Dearest Dana'?"
"Don't remind me!" Dana gave her a withering glare.
"Look on the bright side," Aeryn said as she took the wine bottle from Kathryn to refill her own glass. "At least they can't give Laura a baby."
"Oh! Oh, ick!!!" cried Elizabeth, pointing at the screen. "She did not just lump herself in with the ship like that! Both of frakking Adama's women? I don't think so!"
"I told you all we should have invited her to join us," Kathryn said before taking a generous sip of wine.
"I don't know," Dana replied. "I'm still trying to have faith that she won't have to. Maybe they'll redeem all of this yet. I'm still trying to understand all this erratic characterization."
"Watch out for erratic characterization," Kathryn warned. "It's never a good sign."
"I know," Dana conceded, "but both the character and the relationship have been handled so well for most of the series."
"Yeah, and good writers have never dropped the ball before," Aeryn cut in sarcastically.
"And we're back in sickbay," Elizabeth said glumly, drawing the others back to the show.
"Are they smoking a New Caprica joint?" Kathryn asked, astounded. "What, the writers are taking cues from fanfic ship clichés now?"
From the screen, Laura: You know, sometimes I wonder what home is: is it an actual place, or is it some kind of longing for something, some kind of connection. You know, I spent my whole life on Caprica. I was born in one house, I moved to another, and then this. And then now, I don't think I've ever felt truly at home until these last few months here with you. I know you love this ship. You probably love her more than you love me. Bill, if you don't get us off this ship, you may lose both of us at the same time. Won't you give us a chance?
There was giant crash as Aeryn flung her wine glass at the television. "Frell that!"
"You're working on the anger management, aren't you, Aeryn," Kathryn said with a wry grin. "When it turned out you'd died offscreen," she said to Elizabeth, "Aeryn shot the television."
"Who wrote that appalling piece of dialogue," asked a still-stunned Dana. "Successful, middle-aged woman, productive life, leader of the whole goddamned human race, and she's 'never felt more at home' than she has since shacking up with Admiral Crackpot???"
Kathryn pulled out her phone. "Now are you ready for me to make the call?"
"Do it," replied the other three without hesitation.
"Laura Roslin? Hi, Kathryn Janeway here. I'm calling on behalf of a group you have unfortunately become eligible to join."
Summary: Dana Scully, Aeryn Sun, Elizabeth Weir, and Kathryn Janeway watch "Islanded in a Stream of Fail."
Disclaimer: I included a small piece of dialogue from the episode in question. It's in italics, so hopefully it will be easy to skip for anyone who finds that sort of thing triggery.
(If you don't know what I'm talking about, context here. That post also includes the same piece of unfortunate dialogue.)
For runawaynun, and also for chaila43 and beccatoria.
"Oh god," Kathryn said, "pass me the wine. I'm going to need more if this is an episode with too many 'reading in sickbay' scenes."
"It was kind of sweet the first time," Dana admitted, "but it's starting to get out of control. And I'm getting nervous about where they might be headed with this relationship. Why does characterization so often go out the window when romance gets involved?"
Elizabeth suppressed a giggle. "Remember that email that Mulder addressed to 'Dearest Dana'?"
"Don't remind me!" Dana gave her a withering glare.
"Look on the bright side," Aeryn said as she took the wine bottle from Kathryn to refill her own glass. "At least they can't give Laura a baby."
"Oh! Oh, ick!!!" cried Elizabeth, pointing at the screen. "She did not just lump herself in with the ship like that! Both of frakking Adama's women? I don't think so!"
"I told you all we should have invited her to join us," Kathryn said before taking a generous sip of wine.
"I don't know," Dana replied. "I'm still trying to have faith that she won't have to. Maybe they'll redeem all of this yet. I'm still trying to understand all this erratic characterization."
"Watch out for erratic characterization," Kathryn warned. "It's never a good sign."
"I know," Dana conceded, "but both the character and the relationship have been handled so well for most of the series."
"Yeah, and good writers have never dropped the ball before," Aeryn cut in sarcastically.
"And we're back in sickbay," Elizabeth said glumly, drawing the others back to the show.
"Are they smoking a New Caprica joint?" Kathryn asked, astounded. "What, the writers are taking cues from fanfic ship clichés now?"
From the screen, Laura: You know, sometimes I wonder what home is: is it an actual place, or is it some kind of longing for something, some kind of connection. You know, I spent my whole life on Caprica. I was born in one house, I moved to another, and then this. And then now, I don't think I've ever felt truly at home until these last few months here with you. I know you love this ship. You probably love her more than you love me. Bill, if you don't get us off this ship, you may lose both of us at the same time. Won't you give us a chance?
There was giant crash as Aeryn flung her wine glass at the television. "Frell that!"
"You're working on the anger management, aren't you, Aeryn," Kathryn said with a wry grin. "When it turned out you'd died offscreen," she said to Elizabeth, "Aeryn shot the television."
"Who wrote that appalling piece of dialogue," asked a still-stunned Dana. "Successful, middle-aged woman, productive life, leader of the whole goddamned human race, and she's 'never felt more at home' than she has since shacking up with Admiral Crackpot???"
Kathryn pulled out her phone. "Now are you ready for me to make the call?"
"Do it," replied the other three without hesitation.
"Laura Roslin? Hi, Kathryn Janeway here. I'm calling on behalf of a group you have unfortunately become eligible to join."