213 things Zack Fair is no Longer Allowed to do in the ShinRa Army
28. Don't take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).
"Zack! How could you! I almost missed the exam!" Cloud swung the practice blade with a fury Zack hadn't seen before, hammering at the SOLDIER's block stance with every pound in his body.
"It was a joke! You never get up any way! You press the snooze forever! I was doing you a favor!"
"A favor? A favor! I'll kick your ass!"
"Meep!"
29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.
Rude had figured out that Zack was a lot like Reno, generally nice but with a wicked streak. Where Reno enjoyed mayhem, Zack enjoyed chaos. There was a subtle but distinct difference.
The two got along well, too well at times, And Rude didn't mind the SOLDIER as long as he himself wasn't the one being pranked.
"Hey big guy, what pair of shades are you on now, fifty? Shouldn't let Skippy walk on them like that." Rude grunted and appraised the man.
"Skippy?"
"Sure. Ever seen him run? He does this skippy thing, anyway, think he's available tonight? He's been after my lucky charms and I might as well give them to him, no one else has been clamoring for 'em."
"Fairy-fiend, what are you up to now?"
Rude gave Reno a quick appraisal, gave Zack a slower one, then tilted his head to the side, wondering how much shit Tseng was going to have them shovel after this. "Nah, he's free, take him for whatever he's worth."
30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.
There was an ungodly racket, followed by many a shouted curse and at least one firearm went off before Cloud managed to drag himself out of bed to find out what was wrong.
"Hey! I'm innocent until proven guilty!"
Since Cloud could hear Zack's voice, he closed his eyes, turned around and stumbled right back for his bunk. Let the bastard deal with his own messes at oh dark hundred hours.
31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
"I'm telling you, Odin made me do it!"
"Zack, a materia can't force it's will upon anyone, it doesn't *have* a will."
"Not the summon, *Odin*!" Zack waved a rather disgruntled looking green sock under Sephiroth's nose.
"..........Right. Psych exam, *then* the brig."
32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.
"Zack! What are you doing here? I though you had guard duty over the APC's tonight?"
"Nah, switched assignments with a buddy. Come on Cloud, lets go see Aeris and steal a pie."
"Who would be dumb enough to take APC duty? Zaaaack."
"It's covered, no biggie. Come on!"
"I'm going to regret this."
~Next Morning~
"SOLDIER Fair, you are aware that leaving an inanimate object in charge of your post in order to carouse with non-commissioned officers and civilians is a sever breach of security and protocol correct? What exactly do you have to say in your defense?"
"The aliens made me do it!"
"Zack! How could you! I almost missed the exam!" Cloud swung the practice blade with a fury Zack hadn't seen before, hammering at the SOLDIER's block stance with every pound in his body.
"It was a joke! You never get up any way! You press the snooze forever! I was doing you a favor!"
"A favor? A favor! I'll kick your ass!"
"Meep!"
29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.
Rude had figured out that Zack was a lot like Reno, generally nice but with a wicked streak. Where Reno enjoyed mayhem, Zack enjoyed chaos. There was a subtle but distinct difference.
The two got along well, too well at times, And Rude didn't mind the SOLDIER as long as he himself wasn't the one being pranked.
"Hey big guy, what pair of shades are you on now, fifty? Shouldn't let Skippy walk on them like that." Rude grunted and appraised the man.
"Skippy?"
"Sure. Ever seen him run? He does this skippy thing, anyway, think he's available tonight? He's been after my lucky charms and I might as well give them to him, no one else has been clamoring for 'em."
"Fairy-fiend, what are you up to now?"
Rude gave Reno a quick appraisal, gave Zack a slower one, then tilted his head to the side, wondering how much shit Tseng was going to have them shovel after this. "Nah, he's free, take him for whatever he's worth."
30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.
There was an ungodly racket, followed by many a shouted curse and at least one firearm went off before Cloud managed to drag himself out of bed to find out what was wrong.
"Hey! I'm innocent until proven guilty!"
Since Cloud could hear Zack's voice, he closed his eyes, turned around and stumbled right back for his bunk. Let the bastard deal with his own messes at oh dark hundred hours.
31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
"I'm telling you, Odin made me do it!"
"Zack, a materia can't force it's will upon anyone, it doesn't *have* a will."
"Not the summon, *Odin*!" Zack waved a rather disgruntled looking green sock under Sephiroth's nose.
"..........Right. Psych exam, *then* the brig."
32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.
"Zack! What are you doing here? I though you had guard duty over the APC's tonight?"
"Nah, switched assignments with a buddy. Come on Cloud, lets go see Aeris and steal a pie."
"Who would be dumb enough to take APC duty? Zaaaack."
"It's covered, no biggie. Come on!"
"I'm going to regret this."
~Next Morning~
"SOLDIER Fair, you are aware that leaving an inanimate object in charge of your post in order to carouse with non-commissioned officers and civilians is a sever breach of security and protocol correct? What exactly do you have to say in your defense?"
"The aliens made me do it!"