213 Things Zack Fair is No Longer Allowed to do in the ShinRa Army
18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous “Barbie Girl Dance” while on duty.
Angeal held out his hand and Zack sighed before handing over the mop he was supposed to be cleaning the floor with. Not whacking officers with floor juice with while dancing.
"Fair, do you know what a 90 Day Wonder is? It's what you're going to be if you ever make it through SOLDIER training."
"90 days to make Second Class?"
"90 days to get discharged for mooning the President. No get back to those floors. Hands and knees and towel rags Fair, you know the drill by now."
19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I'm right.
Angeal was taking the polite bullshit approach to dealing with Scarlet while Sephiroth simply stood and glared with a hand on his blade.
"You understand of course, that this is just punishment for insulting a superior officer?"
"Yes, but, *technically* Miss Scarlet, you're not an officer, your a company employee. So the punishment should be meted out by Fair's direct superior, not the Turks."
Considering the damage the Turks in question had already done to the greenhorn, anything the SOLDIERS put him to would be doubling the pain, but the message was finally starting to get through to the higher ups; the Army wasn't the Company, respect accordingly.
Now if only some common sense would get through to Fair.
20. Must not taunt the Turks any more.
"Hey Reno, your roots are showing!"
The Turk only smiled and waved his mag rod in a lazy circle. "Hey Fair, look behind you, I want you to meet my new partner and bestest buddy Rude. Rude, the hedgehog head is Zack Fair, resident target."
Zack looked up to meet mirror shades and very, very broad shoulders. "Hi!"
21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.
"It looks better this way!" Zack gestured to the Presidents helicopter and it's brand new paint job.
"G(* d*(&^&* *^*(&) ^*(^&) son of a w*&^(*% you take that brush and start scrubbing that ^(*&)^ off before I take this spear and shove it up your &*(!!!"
Zack smiled, caught the brush flung at his head and backed away slowly from the fuming pilot.
22. Must never call an SAS a “Wanker”.
Sephiroth blinked as Zack staggered, limping, past his door. There was a bandage around the younger man's temple, another around his thigh that appeared grease and blood stained, and his smile was strained.
"What happened? You were assigned to the mechanics division for the day."
"Cid Highwind, has very good aim, a very short fuse, and no sense of humor."
Sephiroth knew better than to pursue the conversation.
Angeal held out his hand and Zack sighed before handing over the mop he was supposed to be cleaning the floor with. Not whacking officers with floor juice with while dancing.
"Fair, do you know what a 90 Day Wonder is? It's what you're going to be if you ever make it through SOLDIER training."
"90 days to make Second Class?"
"90 days to get discharged for mooning the President. No get back to those floors. Hands and knees and towel rags Fair, you know the drill by now."
19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I'm right.
Angeal was taking the polite bullshit approach to dealing with Scarlet while Sephiroth simply stood and glared with a hand on his blade.
"You understand of course, that this is just punishment for insulting a superior officer?"
"Yes, but, *technically* Miss Scarlet, you're not an officer, your a company employee. So the punishment should be meted out by Fair's direct superior, not the Turks."
Considering the damage the Turks in question had already done to the greenhorn, anything the SOLDIERS put him to would be doubling the pain, but the message was finally starting to get through to the higher ups; the Army wasn't the Company, respect accordingly.
Now if only some common sense would get through to Fair.
20. Must not taunt the Turks any more.
"Hey Reno, your roots are showing!"
The Turk only smiled and waved his mag rod in a lazy circle. "Hey Fair, look behind you, I want you to meet my new partner and bestest buddy Rude. Rude, the hedgehog head is Zack Fair, resident target."
Zack looked up to meet mirror shades and very, very broad shoulders. "Hi!"
21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.
"It looks better this way!" Zack gestured to the Presidents helicopter and it's brand new paint job.
"G(* d*(&^&* *^*(&) ^*(^&) son of a w*&^(*% you take that brush and start scrubbing that ^(*&)^ off before I take this spear and shove it up your &*(!!!"
Zack smiled, caught the brush flung at his head and backed away slowly from the fuming pilot.
22. Must never call an SAS a “Wanker”.
Sephiroth blinked as Zack staggered, limping, past his door. There was a bandage around the younger man's temple, another around his thigh that appeared grease and blood stained, and his smile was strained.
"What happened? You were assigned to the mechanics division for the day."
"Cid Highwind, has very good aim, a very short fuse, and no sense of humor."
Sephiroth knew better than to pursue the conversation.