213 Things Zack Fair is No Longer Allowed to do in the SinRa Army
12. Not allowed to join any militia.
"Zack, what are you doing out of regulation uniform, in civilian camos, sunglasses and a baseball cap, wielding a tire iron?" Cloud tilted his head and stared at the almost completely unrecognizable form of his best friend.
"Rising against the oppressive system of course! Gonna take it to the man and show him what's what!"
"...You lost a bet with Reno didn't you?"
"I don't know how the fucker manages to put all that booze away and still walk a straight line."
13. Not allowed to form any militia.
"Come on Spike, keep your knees straight, what's with that shaking? Aren't you trying for SOLDIER? You can do this!"
"Zaaaack! This is *illegal*!"
"It's tradition! Now lift!"
Sephiroth was very sure he didn't want to know what Fair and Strife were doing at 0100 hours, out of uniform and to the President's statue. If he didn't know, he didn't have to write them up for it.
14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.
Shinra was enjoying a nice stay at the Golden Palace, and Shinra Junior was visiting the troops stationed in Kalm for reasons not quite clear. But they had to be big reasons because Seph and Zack were both dressed up in their shiny formal dress uniforms, cursing like sailors.
Well Zack was cursing because Seph didn't know how and Zack was trying to teach him (official excuse). The biggest surprise came not when Rufus Shinra came off the plane in all his gel headed glory and proceeded to sneer at everything, that was apparently normal, but when a certain red headed jack ass followed him off.
"Zack! They're brown, you owe me fifty gil!"
Neither Sephiroth nor Rufus really wanted to know.
16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my “Samson like powers”.
"It's supposed to be spiky! How can I poke out peoples eyes if I cut my hair? Besides, SOLDIERS can wear their hair however they want!"
Angeal picked up his buster sword and tossed it in the air.
"You can go to the barber, or you can trust me not to take your head off while I trim it, your ladyship Fair. But you ain't a SOLDIER yet and you're taming that mane."
"Erk."
17. God may not contradict any of my orders.
"You chose not to go through the forest and instead dragged your troops through snake and leech infested swamps, went off the radar for two and a half hours, lost key supplies and routed the enemy by pure chance... why?"
"I told you, Odin had a hunch." Zack tossed the red materia in the air a few times and smirked. "Hey, it *worked*."
Seph snatched the summon materia out of the air and turned to the mountain of papers the latest debacle had left on his desk. "Don't ever, use that excuse again or I'll ask him myself, after targeting *you*."
"Awww, but now the troops know what to do against snakebite!"
"Zack, what are you doing out of regulation uniform, in civilian camos, sunglasses and a baseball cap, wielding a tire iron?" Cloud tilted his head and stared at the almost completely unrecognizable form of his best friend.
"Rising against the oppressive system of course! Gonna take it to the man and show him what's what!"
"...You lost a bet with Reno didn't you?"
"I don't know how the fucker manages to put all that booze away and still walk a straight line."
13. Not allowed to form any militia.
"Come on Spike, keep your knees straight, what's with that shaking? Aren't you trying for SOLDIER? You can do this!"
"Zaaaack! This is *illegal*!"
"It's tradition! Now lift!"
Sephiroth was very sure he didn't want to know what Fair and Strife were doing at 0100 hours, out of uniform and to the President's statue. If he didn't know, he didn't have to write them up for it.
14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.
Shinra was enjoying a nice stay at the Golden Palace, and Shinra Junior was visiting the troops stationed in Kalm for reasons not quite clear. But they had to be big reasons because Seph and Zack were both dressed up in their shiny formal dress uniforms, cursing like sailors.
Well Zack was cursing because Seph didn't know how and Zack was trying to teach him (official excuse). The biggest surprise came not when Rufus Shinra came off the plane in all his gel headed glory and proceeded to sneer at everything, that was apparently normal, but when a certain red headed jack ass followed him off.
"Zack! They're brown, you owe me fifty gil!"
Neither Sephiroth nor Rufus really wanted to know.
16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my “Samson like powers”.
"It's supposed to be spiky! How can I poke out peoples eyes if I cut my hair? Besides, SOLDIERS can wear their hair however they want!"
Angeal picked up his buster sword and tossed it in the air.
"You can go to the barber, or you can trust me not to take your head off while I trim it, your ladyship Fair. But you ain't a SOLDIER yet and you're taming that mane."
"Erk."
17. God may not contradict any of my orders.
"You chose not to go through the forest and instead dragged your troops through snake and leech infested swamps, went off the radar for two and a half hours, lost key supplies and routed the enemy by pure chance... why?"
"I told you, Odin had a hunch." Zack tossed the red materia in the air a few times and smirked. "Hey, it *worked*."
Seph snatched the summon materia out of the air and turned to the mountain of papers the latest debacle had left on his desk. "Don't ever, use that excuse again or I'll ask him myself, after targeting *you*."
"Awww, but now the troops know what to do against snakebite!"