..i honestly believe i think too much..
So, you know. I was looking over old entries from this year, and it's amazing how introverted I am. I'm so vague! Even I can't figure out what I was talking about then, and I'd like to think that I would. I'm surprised people even get what I say some of the time.
But why am I so afraid to be frank? I'm apparently good at being frank and tactful, but that skill seems limited for other people. I mean, confined to when I'm dealing with other people and I need to tell them something that they need to hear without being offensive. and I'm apparently good at that. Except I apparently can't be quite frank with myself. And that's somewhat, well, infuriating because one would like to be at least honest with themselves, you'd think. But apparently not.
And the thing is, I'm not even referring to anything in particular, just my general attitude. To myself.
I wonder why I do this? Maybe because I'm afraid of myself? Or is it that I'm afraid to offend people because honestly, I wouldn't be surprised.
I mean, in one of the entries, I wrote about how I wanted to talk about something (not sure what), but I didn't want to make people uncomfortable in any way. And that's a lot of what I do. I don't want to make people uncomfortable.
And on that note, they should tell people the rules. There should be a tangible manual that outlines what all the "unspoken rules" are. It would be such a blessing and make things a little less convoluted and so muddled. I would like that. Because you can never be quite sure when things are acceptable and what is the acceptable thing to do.
It's all confusing like that. I'd like to think that I don't operate on those rules, whatever they may be, but I have a feeling that I do. Which is somewhat disconcerting, yet reassuring at the same time.
(And sometimes, the vagueness is simply so because I can't explain it in clearer terms, or those are the clearest ways I know them in my head.)
And off I go again.
*starts laughing*
"None of this probably makes any sense to you, whoever is reading this. (Maybe me a bit from now?)"(<-july)
Ended up reading, and not really thinking about the phone call, although there isn't much to think about in regards to it, but, yes.
I lied, the book isn't that bad. It may also have something to do with the fact that it is the fifth in a series or sommat like that. I started this morning, and I have only a few chapters left.
Aaaaaaaaaaaand. I think there was more, but, no longer. *les dramatics*
So, courtesy of Erin tagging me (yes, it was a few days ago, but let's not discuss petty things such as that), I bring you a meme. *cue mass panic*
5 weird habits about yourself (tag 5 people):
1. I have a tendency to take forever to get to a point. And if you tell me to hurry up, I'll talk very quickly, rather than speaking in fewer words, to get to the point.
2. I need my alone time in the morning. Let me check my flist/subs-list/e-mail/horoscopes. I need them in order to function properly. (Different rules apply if I'm at a friend's or someone is over.
3. I dislike having my door open. My friends sometimes notice that I have a tendency to close doors, even to their rooms. (If you dislike closed doors, please tell if you catch me closing them. I won't be offended. People have expressed this, and I don't mind. I sometimes do it out of habit.)
4. I often express myself in noises and/or body movements. Do not be alarmed. This is typical, case study me.
5. I feel odd without my nails painted or jewelry on (specifically necklaces), but I think I'll revel in empty nails for awhile more.
I tag: Aaron, Abby, Bri, Eleanor, Whitney
i only had four entries in july. hmmm...i wonder why. (heh heh, i rhymed.)
But why am I so afraid to be frank? I'm apparently good at being frank and tactful, but that skill seems limited for other people. I mean, confined to when I'm dealing with other people and I need to tell them something that they need to hear without being offensive. and I'm apparently good at that. Except I apparently can't be quite frank with myself. And that's somewhat, well, infuriating because one would like to be at least honest with themselves, you'd think. But apparently not.
And the thing is, I'm not even referring to anything in particular, just my general attitude. To myself.
I wonder why I do this? Maybe because I'm afraid of myself? Or is it that I'm afraid to offend people because honestly, I wouldn't be surprised.
I mean, in one of the entries, I wrote about how I wanted to talk about something (not sure what), but I didn't want to make people uncomfortable in any way. And that's a lot of what I do. I don't want to make people uncomfortable.
And on that note, they should tell people the rules. There should be a tangible manual that outlines what all the "unspoken rules" are. It would be such a blessing and make things a little less convoluted and so muddled. I would like that. Because you can never be quite sure when things are acceptable and what is the acceptable thing to do.
It's all confusing like that. I'd like to think that I don't operate on those rules, whatever they may be, but I have a feeling that I do. Which is somewhat disconcerting, yet reassuring at the same time.
(And sometimes, the vagueness is simply so because I can't explain it in clearer terms, or those are the clearest ways I know them in my head.)
And off I go again.
*starts laughing*
"None of this probably makes any sense to you, whoever is reading this. (Maybe me a bit from now?)"(<-july)
Ended up reading, and not really thinking about the phone call, although there isn't much to think about in regards to it, but, yes.
I lied, the book isn't that bad. It may also have something to do with the fact that it is the fifth in a series or sommat like that. I started this morning, and I have only a few chapters left.
Aaaaaaaaaaaand. I think there was more, but, no longer. *les dramatics*
So, courtesy of Erin tagging me (yes, it was a few days ago, but let's not discuss petty things such as that), I bring you a meme. *cue mass panic*
5 weird habits about yourself (tag 5 people):
1. I have a tendency to take forever to get to a point. And if you tell me to hurry up, I'll talk very quickly, rather than speaking in fewer words, to get to the point.
2. I need my alone time in the morning. Let me check my flist/subs-list/e-mail/horoscopes. I need them in order to function properly. (Different rules apply if I'm at a friend's or someone is over.
3. I dislike having my door open. My friends sometimes notice that I have a tendency to close doors, even to their rooms. (If you dislike closed doors, please tell if you catch me closing them. I won't be offended. People have expressed this, and I don't mind. I sometimes do it out of habit.)
4. I often express myself in noises and/or body movements. Do not be alarmed. This is typical, case study me.
5. I feel odd without my nails painted or jewelry on (specifically necklaces), but I think I'll revel in empty nails for awhile more.
I tag: Aaron, Abby, Bri, Eleanor, Whitney
i only had four entries in july. hmmm...i wonder why. (heh heh, i rhymed.)