A royal ass kissing.
I've been thinking, about nothing in particular. Just the general rubbish that tends to filter through my mind.
And I've realised something.
There are very VERY few people who I genuinely care about.
I have quite a few acquaintances yes, but I have only a small amount of friends.
There are 4 people who I care about more than anyone in the whole world.
You should know who you are, if you don't then you are idiots.
But you should all know that I love you to death.
Seriously.
When I've thought about killing myself before, the only thing that stopped me taking all the pills or pushing the razor into my wrist was thinking about you guys, and how much you would hate me for doing it.
I never EVER want you guys to hate me. If you did, if any single one of you did, I don't like to think what I'd do.
I have never thought about what I would be doing to my mum if I killed myself - quite frankly I don't think she'd care, mainly because when I do get suicidal, it's her fault.
None of you four have ever done that, if anything you've saved me.
Whenever I need someone to talk to, I can count on you guys, the same way I hope you can depend on me.
I could never live with myself I ever lost any of you, and I know it doesn't seem like it, but I miss you so much Lisa.
I miss spending saturday nights at your house and waking up to your mums sunday dinner lol. I miss dossing at your house in general, with my 3rd can of pepsi and a blue riband, just watching random crap on t.v. Or when we used to have girly nights in, you me Jess & Sophie, ordering pizza, garlic mushrooms and chicken flamers and getting free bottles of Lambrusco.
I miss practically living at Jess' house.
I don't miss Sophie, I see her far too much lol.
And I hate that we never ever see Kevin enough.
I don't know why I did this post, I guess I don't tell you guys enough how much you mean to me.
But you are my world, ok?
There are of course other people who I care about, but you guys are top of my league.
True. Fucking. Story.
I'm going to stop now before I make myself barf.
And I've realised something.
There are very VERY few people who I genuinely care about.
I have quite a few acquaintances yes, but I have only a small amount of friends.
There are 4 people who I care about more than anyone in the whole world.
You should know who you are, if you don't then you are idiots.
But you should all know that I love you to death.
Seriously.
When I've thought about killing myself before, the only thing that stopped me taking all the pills or pushing the razor into my wrist was thinking about you guys, and how much you would hate me for doing it.
I never EVER want you guys to hate me. If you did, if any single one of you did, I don't like to think what I'd do.
I have never thought about what I would be doing to my mum if I killed myself - quite frankly I don't think she'd care, mainly because when I do get suicidal, it's her fault.
None of you four have ever done that, if anything you've saved me.
Whenever I need someone to talk to, I can count on you guys, the same way I hope you can depend on me.
I could never live with myself I ever lost any of you, and I know it doesn't seem like it, but I miss you so much Lisa.
I miss spending saturday nights at your house and waking up to your mums sunday dinner lol. I miss dossing at your house in general, with my 3rd can of pepsi and a blue riband, just watching random crap on t.v. Or when we used to have girly nights in, you me Jess & Sophie, ordering pizza, garlic mushrooms and chicken flamers and getting free bottles of Lambrusco.
I miss practically living at Jess' house.
I don't miss Sophie, I see her far too much lol.
And I hate that we never ever see Kevin enough.
I don't know why I did this post, I guess I don't tell you guys enough how much you mean to me.
But you are my world, ok?
There are of course other people who I care about, but you guys are top of my league.
True. Fucking. Story.
I'm going to stop now before I make myself barf.