fuck my own melodramatic attitude.
everything just kind of shut down around me...the world stopped moving for a couple of hours...I couldn't really remember to blink.
this is what shock feels like.
all I really wanted in that moment was for someone to be wrapped tightly around me. holding me warmly in their arms. like a little safe pocket of space reserved for me.
I guess they call this codependency.
what I had was a small white pill, wrapped up in plastic. a temporary escape with the side effects of blurred vision, and a warm body high.
this is what they call drug abuse.
so, faced with decisions, the pill remained encased in plastic wrap, and I found myself pressing harder and harder on the gas pedal. driving myself home, steering through the streets, filled with cars, knowing that there weren't any arms anywhere for me.
but am I sad?
no. instead I reformatted my computer and erased everything I had for memories.
I don't know what I want anymore. I don't know who I am. I think they call this a quarter life crisis.
I'm missing something...Lord knows what.
this is what shock feels like.
all I really wanted in that moment was for someone to be wrapped tightly around me. holding me warmly in their arms. like a little safe pocket of space reserved for me.
I guess they call this codependency.
what I had was a small white pill, wrapped up in plastic. a temporary escape with the side effects of blurred vision, and a warm body high.
this is what they call drug abuse.
so, faced with decisions, the pill remained encased in plastic wrap, and I found myself pressing harder and harder on the gas pedal. driving myself home, steering through the streets, filled with cars, knowing that there weren't any arms anywhere for me.
but am I sad?
no. instead I reformatted my computer and erased everything I had for memories.
I don't know what I want anymore. I don't know who I am. I think they call this a quarter life crisis.
I'm missing something...Lord knows what.