time
I'm not complaining, I'm just documenting.
Yesterday was my birthday. I had all of my friends in one room (with the exception of a few), and really I felt like there were only a few that wanted to be there, or that I actually wanted to be there. Everyone is fading away. It's not something that blame can be placed upon, but it is still sad. I guess it's just something that happens with time. I'm sure certain things don't help either, but whatever. You just never really stop and think that someday these people that surround you, that mean the world to you, someday, they might be just a faded memory. It's not that they don't matter, it's just that you don't mesh anymore...or something. I'm not even sure what it is. All I really know is that it was my birthday and it felt like it was just another day. I'm sure I did it to myself.
I found out some weird news the other day that has me thinking about things. It's kind of funny because if I get really upset, I find myself looking up to the sky. Looking for something beautiful, something to hold onto, something to bring it all back down. Sometimes I see Him, and sometimes I don't. It really seems like He's getting closer these days.
I drank very little for my birthday. I could really give a crap about alcohol right now. There is so much more going on. Alcohol is just another vice. Another shitty substitute for the real world.
My mind is spinning in circles right now. I just want it to slow down. I figure the way things are going, I'm happy being me. I'm good being single, and if things are supposed to work out, in time, when I'm ready, they will. Time. Yeah...that's what I need.
Yesterday was my birthday. I had all of my friends in one room (with the exception of a few), and really I felt like there were only a few that wanted to be there, or that I actually wanted to be there. Everyone is fading away. It's not something that blame can be placed upon, but it is still sad. I guess it's just something that happens with time. I'm sure certain things don't help either, but whatever. You just never really stop and think that someday these people that surround you, that mean the world to you, someday, they might be just a faded memory. It's not that they don't matter, it's just that you don't mesh anymore...or something. I'm not even sure what it is. All I really know is that it was my birthday and it felt like it was just another day. I'm sure I did it to myself.
I found out some weird news the other day that has me thinking about things. It's kind of funny because if I get really upset, I find myself looking up to the sky. Looking for something beautiful, something to hold onto, something to bring it all back down. Sometimes I see Him, and sometimes I don't. It really seems like He's getting closer these days.
I drank very little for my birthday. I could really give a crap about alcohol right now. There is so much more going on. Alcohol is just another vice. Another shitty substitute for the real world.
My mind is spinning in circles right now. I just want it to slow down. I figure the way things are going, I'm happy being me. I'm good being single, and if things are supposed to work out, in time, when I'm ready, they will. Time. Yeah...that's what I need.