dear non-genderfuck fans: i promise this will come to an end eventually. love, me
And then this evening brooklinegirl and I were talking about Fraser and Ray having sex while Ray is a girl, and --look, we're dirty, all right? This is not news. But we were talking about how the sex would be really different, now. Which, duh, of course it's different, Ray has a cunt and breasts and no cock, of course the sex is gonna be nothing like before. Except it's not just different like that, it's different in lots of ways, stuff Ray wouldn't even have thought about. Because like the first time (and even just that's weird, having a first time, another first time, like everything else had been rubbed out or something), the first time, Fraser was real careful and gentle and exploring, because neither of them knew exactly what felt good and bad and oh my god fucking fantastic in this body yet, not at all.
Except once they got past the first couple times, once they both starting figuring out exactly how to make Ray's body purr -- the thing was, it wasn't just that Ray was different, because Fraser was different, too. And Fraser's bigger than Ray is now, and stronger, and he doesn't even hesitate to use it -- they'll be making out in the kitchen or something, and Fraser'll just set him on the kitchen counter or table or something and keep kissing him or go down on him, or he'll pick Ray up, and Ray'll wrap his legs around Fraser to brace himself and Fraser will just fuck him like that, against the wall, holding his weight the whole time.
And the other thing about Fraser is that -- Ray doesn't know if it's just him, or Fraser just acts different having sex with women, but Fraser's like weirdly diligent. Like the goal of every single time they have sex is "Let's Show Ray as Good a Time as Humanly Possible." It's not like Ray doesn't appreciate the orgasms, but it's still weird, because the total focus is on him, Fraser's total focus is on him, the total focus is on Fraser getting him off. And Fraser's good at it -- Fraser knows how to get off Ray better than Ray does, almost -- but the point's still there. Ray doesn't know if Fraser just thinks he's being gentlemanly or considerate or if he doesn't even notice it at all, but what Fraser doesn't get is that the whole thing just means Fraser is the one in control. Fraser's always the one in control, and it's freaking Ray out.
The whole thing is freaking Ray out. He likes the sex, he likes it a lot, but it's still freaking him out. The fact that he likes it this much, even. Fraser doesn't seem to get that, either, because Fraser's not freaking out at all, Fraser thinks Ray's just as much himself as he ever was in his real body. Fraser's Mr. Issue Free over here, which Ray is willing to guess is not a title Fraser has ever been in possession of before now. Fraser doesn't seem to get that Ray is really a guy, except now he's a girl, and it's fucked-up and really annoying and fucking Christ, he just wants to fuck Fraser again for real, like he used to.
When he tells Fraser about how he's freaking out, Fraser just looks a little concerned and kind of hurt. He starts to stammer something out real stiffly about how he hadn't realized, he'd thought things were going well, and he certainly--
And Ray interrupts him, says, "No, Fraser, you don't get it. It's not that it's not good. It's good. That's not it. It's just, I'm not, this is weird. This is freaky. I miss my cock. I miss fucking you. I miss your blowjobs." He kicks the table and slouches back in his chair, his arms crossed against his chest.
And Fraser bites his lip, and after a minute he gets this thoughtful look on his face, and Ray narrows his eyes all suspiciously and says "What?"
And Fraser goes, "Well, it's not the same thing, of course, but we do have other options--"
Which is how they end up with Fraser on his knees, eyes closed, sucking Ray's dildo while Ray pulls his hair. And yeah, Fraser's right, it's not the same thing, it's nothing like it, but this is good in its whole own way; Fraser's a brilliant guy, Ray thinks, a brilliant guy and a great cocksucker, and he pulls Fraser's hair again and Fraser moans around Ray's silicone dick.
....Um. And then Tracey had to go actually, you know, sleep. But that was the gist of it.
Except once they got past the first couple times, once they both starting figuring out exactly how to make Ray's body purr -- the thing was, it wasn't just that Ray was different, because Fraser was different, too. And Fraser's bigger than Ray is now, and stronger, and he doesn't even hesitate to use it -- they'll be making out in the kitchen or something, and Fraser'll just set him on the kitchen counter or table or something and keep kissing him or go down on him, or he'll pick Ray up, and Ray'll wrap his legs around Fraser to brace himself and Fraser will just fuck him like that, against the wall, holding his weight the whole time.
And the other thing about Fraser is that -- Ray doesn't know if it's just him, or Fraser just acts different having sex with women, but Fraser's like weirdly diligent. Like the goal of every single time they have sex is "Let's Show Ray as Good a Time as Humanly Possible." It's not like Ray doesn't appreciate the orgasms, but it's still weird, because the total focus is on him, Fraser's total focus is on him, the total focus is on Fraser getting him off. And Fraser's good at it -- Fraser knows how to get off Ray better than Ray does, almost -- but the point's still there. Ray doesn't know if Fraser just thinks he's being gentlemanly or considerate or if he doesn't even notice it at all, but what Fraser doesn't get is that the whole thing just means Fraser is the one in control. Fraser's always the one in control, and it's freaking Ray out.
The whole thing is freaking Ray out. He likes the sex, he likes it a lot, but it's still freaking him out. The fact that he likes it this much, even. Fraser doesn't seem to get that, either, because Fraser's not freaking out at all, Fraser thinks Ray's just as much himself as he ever was in his real body. Fraser's Mr. Issue Free over here, which Ray is willing to guess is not a title Fraser has ever been in possession of before now. Fraser doesn't seem to get that Ray is really a guy, except now he's a girl, and it's fucked-up and really annoying and fucking Christ, he just wants to fuck Fraser again for real, like he used to.
When he tells Fraser about how he's freaking out, Fraser just looks a little concerned and kind of hurt. He starts to stammer something out real stiffly about how he hadn't realized, he'd thought things were going well, and he certainly--
And Ray interrupts him, says, "No, Fraser, you don't get it. It's not that it's not good. It's good. That's not it. It's just, I'm not, this is weird. This is freaky. I miss my cock. I miss fucking you. I miss your blowjobs." He kicks the table and slouches back in his chair, his arms crossed against his chest.
And Fraser bites his lip, and after a minute he gets this thoughtful look on his face, and Ray narrows his eyes all suspiciously and says "What?"
And Fraser goes, "Well, it's not the same thing, of course, but we do have other options--"
Which is how they end up with Fraser on his knees, eyes closed, sucking Ray's dildo while Ray pulls his hair. And yeah, Fraser's right, it's not the same thing, it's nothing like it, but this is good in its whole own way; Fraser's a brilliant guy, Ray thinks, a brilliant guy and a great cocksucker, and he pulls Fraser's hair again and Fraser moans around Ray's silicone dick.
....Um. And then Tracey had to go actually, you know, sleep. But that was the gist of it.